Do you need positive self-esteem beliefs?
Many of you have contacted us after eliminating a negative belief using the Lefkoe Belief Process, asking how you can create a positive belief in its place. I explained why that isn’t necessary (or even possible) in a prior blog post: https://www.mortylefkoe.com/010510/# I’ve recently had some new insights about how to have a positive sense of yourself that expands on that earlier explanation. A positive sense of yourself can be experienced in two different ways: as the “creator” or the “creation.” A positive sense of yourself is both the natural experience of the “creator” and the result of specific beliefs [...]
Why some get angry and others fear it.
The first time I really allowed myself to experience my anger I fainted. I was about 36 and had successfully suppressed my anger since childhood. And there I was in a group therapy session, hitting a mat with a stick with foam wrapped around it, screaming: “Mom, I’m really angry at you.” When I started the exercise I was only mouthing empty words, but then at some point the words became real and the anger surfaced. It terrified me so much that I literally passed out on the mat. I fainted the next couple of times I tried that [...]
How to build your self-confidence
NOTE: One of the most frequent questions I get is about what causes a low level of self-confidence and what can be done to improve it. To answer those questions I’ve posted an updated version of a post from early last year on this topic. Most of us would like to improve our level of confidence. But why? What is confidence anyway? Where does it come from? Why do some people have more of it than others? How can we improve our level of confidence? How does a low level of confidence affect us and what changes in our lives [...]
What Should I Do With The Rest Of My Life?
I’ve always been the youngest person doing whatever I was doing. I was just 16 when I graduated high school. I was working on Wall Street as a securities analyst at 22. I was an Assistant Vice President of a financial firm listed on the New York Stock Exchange at the age of 24. And I already had articles published in Fortune and was an editorial writer for the Wall Street Journal by 26. Then one day I woke up and discovered I was 73. Instead of being the youngest person doing what I was doing, I was suddenly one [...]
How to control anger
The first time I really allowed myself to experience my anger I fainted. I was about 36 and had successfully suppressed my anger since childhood. And there I was in a group therapy session, hitting a mat with a stick with foam wrapped around it, screaming: “Mom, I’m really angry at you.” When I started the exercise I was only mouthing empty words, but then at some point the words became real and the anger surfaced. It terrified me so much that I literally passed out on the mat. I fainted the next couple of times I tried that exercise, [...]
I finally stopped bragging
It took me a long time to stop bragging. About 50 years in fact. As a child I always bragged about things that I thought would impress others. How good my grades were. Things I had done. Popular kids I hung out with. Having people think well of me was so important that I even lied just to impress others. When I was 17 I was living in Miami Beach in an apartment with my mom. From time to time I dated girls who visited Miami Beach on vacation. One time I remember driving past my aunt’s beautiful house and [...]
Getting Rid of Beliefs is Not Enough
Because many emotions are caused by beliefs, getting rid of the relevant beliefs can frequently eradicate negative emotions. For example, the belief that “Dogs are dangerous” will result in an emotion of fear when confronting a dog. The belief “People can't be trusted” will result in a feeling of suspicion around people. When the beliefs are eliminated, the emotions usually will be also. There are, however, emotions in adults that appear to be caused by something in addition to beliefs. Getting rid of beliefs is not enough. Let me explain the source of these negative emotions, such as [...]
What is My Job As A Parent?
“How many times do I have to tell you?” “What am I ever going to do with you?” “What’s wrong with you?” “Don’t you ever listen?” Imagine yourself to be a young child listening to your parents repeatedly ask you questions like these. … If you stop for a few moments, listen to these words inside your head, and experience what it feels like, you will have a clear picture of what far too many children feel every day. But what's even worse than the momentary hurt you probably felt as a child are the beliefs that you probably formed [...]
Your Behavior As Parents Determines Your Children's Future Happiness
What parents do and don't do, say and don't say, provide their children with the experiences that their children interpret into beliefs. Those beliefs, in turn, then determine their behavior and emotions and, ultimately, their lives for better or for worse. Most parents at this point respond: "I’ve never thought about my children’s beliefs before. Isn't our job as parents to get our children to do the right thing, to teach them, and to make them happy?" At What Cost? The question we suggest you ask yourself is: At what cost? If you succeed in achieving what you wanted at [...]
