Why We Struggle To Make Decisions: The Elusive Role Of Survival Strategy Beliefs
A rooster's crow is loud enough to permanently damage hearing. Yet rooster's never go deaf from all the noise they make. The rooster is immune to its own crow because as it opens its beak, tissues inside its skull cover the ear canal and dampen the noise. This is like putting earplugs so deep inside your ears that you can't hear a thing. As a result, the rooster is protected from the sound of its own booming voice. When we struggle to make decisions our inner voice is often confused. Should we do this? Should we do that? Decisions [...]
Why We Struggle To Make Decisions: The Elusive Role Of Survival Strategy Beliefs
A rooster's crow is loud enough to permanently damage hearing. Yet rooster's never go deaf from all the noise they make. The rooster is immune to its own crow because as it opens its beak, tissues inside its skull cover the ear canal and dampen the noise. This is like putting earplugs so deep inside your ears that you can't hear a thing. As a result, the rooster is protected from the sound of its own booming voice. When we struggle to make decisions our inner voice is often confused. Should we do this? Should we do that? Decisions get [...]
Of course I worry about what others think. Doesn’t everyone?
One of the most devastating problems people have is so common that nearly everybody views it as “human nature.” Few people even try to get rid of this ever-present problem because they assume it’s part of the “human condition.” What is this ubiquitous problem? Constantly worrying about what others think and frequently doing things just to get people’s approval. How you know if you have the problem How do you know if you are one of the tens of millions of people who have this problem? Do you often walk away from people thinking, “Did I say the right thing?” [...]
Do you brag?
For most of my life I didn’t see bragging as a problem. I did it and most of the people I knew did it also. It was just something that people did. It wasn’t until I developed The Lefkoe Method 30 years ago that I realized that bragging is actually a way to compensate for a low level of self-esteem. Why we brag As I’ve written in the past, very few people escape childhood without forming a bunch of negative self-esteem beliefs, because most parents aren’t aware that their behavior is the major source of the beliefs their children are [...]
Are You Too Self-focused?
Many books in recent years have stated that “trust” is the new key to success in business. Customers are looking for companies they can trust and companies that can’t be trusted are rapidly losing market share. And obviously it would be hard to get a job if the person interviewing you didn’t trust you. But trust is a key factor in personal relationships also. It would be difficult for someone to form a really close relationship with you if they didn’t trust you. And most people would probably agree that one of the most important characteristics of their best friends [...]
Stop Worrying About What Others Think
One of the most devastating problems people have is so common that nearly everybody views it as “human nature.” Few people even try to get rid of the problem because they assume everyone has it; it’s part of the “human condition.” What is this problem? Worrying about what others think and doing things just to get people’s approval. How you know if you have the problem How do you know if you are one of the tens of millions of people who have this problem? Do you often walk away from people thinking, “Did I say the right thing”; did [...]
I finally stopped bragging
It took me a long time to stop bragging. About 50 years in fact. As a child I always bragged about things that I thought would impress others. How good my grades were. Things I had done. Popular kids I hung out with. Having people think well of me was so important that I even lied just to impress others. When I was 17 I was living in Miami Beach in an apartment with my mom. From time to time I dated girls who visited Miami Beach on vacation. One time I remember driving past my aunt’s beautiful house and [...]
Eating/Weight Problems: The Source and Solution
Most of the behavioral or emotional problems we want to get rid of are relatively simple to deal with. We procrastinate. We worry all the time about what people think of us. We lack confidence. Using The Lefkoe Method you can find and eliminate the beliefs and conditionings that cause these problems. As a result, the problems will disappear. Unfortunately overeating and weighing too much are not as simple. This problem is much more difficult to get rid of than most because it consists of from six to eight (or even more) sub-problems, each of which has to be handled [...]
Answers to questions about beliefs, Part 2
Here are my answers to a bunch of new questions I’ve been asked repeatedly about beliefs. 1. Once you understand that you can’t see beliefs in the world and that events have no inherent meaning, why do you have to go though the process time after time to eliminate additional beliefs? Remember, a belief is a statement about reality you think is true. And most people, because they are visual, think it is true because they think they saw it in the world. Even though you know in principle that all meaning is in your mind and you can’t really [...]
