You’re Not Here to Live Up to Anyone’s Expectations
Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach before giving a presentation? Or that wave of anxiety when launching a new project? Or maybe you've hesitated to share your ideas because you were afraid they wouldn't be "good enough"? For years, I've worked with countless clients who suffer from performance anxiety, fear of public speaking, or paralysis when trying to start a new venture. And almost without fail, we discover the same thing lurking beneath these fears: the dread of not living up to others' expectations. But here's something that might surprise you: not living up to expectations doesn't [...]
Re-Post: Why We Have Triggered Anger Patterns (And Beliefs Aren’t Always The Cause)
When the shopping cart was first introduced to stores in 1937, customers refused to use them. Men avoided them so as not to appear weak. Women thought they were unfashionable. Older customers thought they would seem helpless. The idea appeared dead in the water. But Sylvan Goldman, the inventor of the shopping cart and owner of a large grocery store, refused to give up. He solved the problem by hiring models of all ages and genders to pretend to shop while using the carts. He hired a friendly greeter who would offer carts to people and point out that "everyone [...]
Why We Have Triggered Anger Patterns (And Beliefs Aren’t Always The Cause)
When the shopping cart was first introduced to stores in 1937, customers refused to use them. Men avoided them so as not to appear weak. Women thought they were unfashionable. Older customers thought they would seem helpless. The idea appeared dead in the water. But Sylvan Goldman, the inventor of the shopping cart and owner of a large grocery store, refused to give up. He solved the problem by hiring models of all ages and genders to pretend to shop while using the carts. He hired a friendly greeter who would offer carts to people and point out that "everyone [...]
Getting Rid of Beliefs is Not Enough
Because many emotions are caused by beliefs, getting rid of the relevant beliefs can frequently eradicate negative emotions. For example, the belief that “Dogs are dangerous” will result in an emotion of fear when confronting a dog. The belief “People can't be trusted” will result in a feeling of suspicion around people. When the beliefs are eliminated, the emotions usually will be also. There are, however, emotions in adults that appear to be caused by something in addition to beliefs. Getting rid of beliefs is not enough. Let me explain the source of these negative emotions, such as [...]
Get Rid Of Negative “Senses” And “Expectations”
In my post on May 5, 2009, I described the Lefkoe Stimulus Process (LStP), the most important process other than the Lefkoe Belief Process that we use to help people get rid of unwanted behavior and emotional problems. This process de-conditions common events that have been conditioned to cause fear and other negative emotions. To get rid of almost any emotional problem, you will have to get rid of beliefs and conditionings. There are two additional processes I’ve created to help clients eliminate problems in their lives that can be very valuable: the Lefkoe Sense Process (LSP) and the Lefkoe [...]
