If I Can Do It, Anyone Can
I frequently get emails and phone calls from people who have been struggling for many years, people who are unhappy with their lives much of the time. They ask: Is there anything that could possibly improve my life and allow me to be truly happy? The best way to answer that question is to relate a personal story. For most of my life I woke up every morning afraid to face the day. I was depressed and unhappy almost all the time. I had screwed up two marriages and was arguing a lot in my third. I was obsessively concerned [...]
What’s the difference between intuition and occurrings?
The question frequently arises: How can I tell the difference between occurrings and the following other phenomena that seem like occurrings? making conscious assessments about the events, positive thinking (affirmations), random thoughts, alternative interpretations, and intuition I have about events. Let me briefly describe each and explain how each is different. If you are able to distinguish your occurrings from the other phenomena and dissolve the occurrings, you can create your moment-to-moment experience of life. To begin with, let me explain what I mean by “reality/events”: Events are what actually happens in the world. What you know through your five [...]
Your questions get answered
Last week’s post sparked a lot of comments and questions. I wrote on the dangers of trying to be positive when you are feeling negative and I suggested that instead of pretending to be positive you just dissolve your negative occurrings and feelings. Because there has been so much interest in this topic, I decided to devote this week’s post to responding to some of the questions from last week. My comments below go much deeper into the topic than my original post. Marie wrote: “Thank you for the post. Separating the meaning from the event is a [...]
How is TLM different from psychotherapy?
The Lefkoe Method (TLM) is very different both from most personal growth techniques and most forms of psychotherapy. To begin with, TLM is not merely about personal growth—although it does deliver that. It goes well beyond that in promising that specific behavioral and emotional problems—such as depression, eating disorders, a wide variety of negative emotions like fear and anger, and many dysfunctional behaviors—can be totally eliminated. Although personal growth products are all different in their claims, for the most part they offer emotional and behavioral improvements, not the total elimination of existing problems. In that respect TLM (which consists of [...]
What is the most important thing you can do to improve your life?
I can’t think of a single thing that can make as profound a difference in your life as being able to dissolve your “occurrings”—the meaning you unconsciously and automatically give events, which you think are The Truth. Our “occurrings” are the source of most of our negative emotions, which means they are the source of most of our suffering; they are the vehicle through which our beliefs determine our behavior and feelings; they are the source of most disagreements and arguments between people; and they are one of the biggest barriers to being able to successfully resolve problems in [...]
Is it really all going to turn out?
I have a test for you. All you have to do to pass it is to answer one question honestly. For many of us that might be difficult because we might not want to know the answer. Here is the question: Do you really feel that it’s all going to turn out for you? No, I didn’t ask if you wanted it to turn out. Of course you do. I asked do you really feel, deep down, that it’s all going to turn out for you. Do you really feel you will have a long-lasting nurturing, loving relationship? That you [...]
"Negative" emotions are not necessary
My post several months ago, How To Live In A State of Bliss produced many more comments than usual. Many of you disagreed with my statements that it is possible to never have negative emotions if you dissolve the meaning you give the events that produce the emotion. I’d like to respond to some of your comments as I think a lot of people think that it is important to feel ALL our feelings, even the unpleasant ones, and that it is impossible to take action if we don’t have emotional responses to events. The negative is not necessary [...]
Get rid of the pain in your painful memories
Do you have memories that recur from time to time that are painful? Are there events from the past that upset you every time you recall them? Events such as breaking up after a long-term love affair, or getting fired from a job, or not getting something you had expected to get. If so, I have some good news for you. I am going to show you how you can quickly and easily dissolve the meaning you gave those “painful” events so that you will be able to recall them without the emotional discomfort that usually accompanies them. Dissolve [...]
Why what people do and say sometimes seems insane
Have you ever listened to something a friend or loved one said to you and thought: “They have to be insane! That makes no sense at all!” And what about things they do? Aren’t you flabbergasted when a friend or loved one doesn’t do something they promised to do or not returned a call for days? So much of what people do and say make little or no sense to us. Why? Things people say and do don’t make sense to us because we assume that they are giving events the same meaning we do. If we realized that [...]
