How to create the space for others to grow around you
A guest post by Shelly Lefkoe As most of you know my beloved husband Morty has been through quite a journey. He was diagnosed with lymphoma some time ago and a few months ago became very, very ill. At that time our daughter Blake flew in from Hawaii for an indefinite stay to help care for him (she stayed three weeks); my other daughter Brittany came in from San Francisco where she now lives to spend a few days with us; my best friend of 50 years came from Nashville to stay with us for a week. During the week [...]
How to stop arguments before they start. Guaranteed.
One of the biggest sources of unhappiness in our lives is the arguments we have with our friends and loved ones. In fact, for many people, the major source of stress in their lives is the arguments they have with friends and loved ones. Remember your last argument: You were in the middle of a calm, possibly even enjoyable conversation, when suddenly, and from out of nowhere, something happened. You don’t know what precipitated it, but without warning you found yourself upset, wondering why the other person said and did things that were so hurtful. And before you knew it, [...]
I have loved being a dad
I knew I didn’t want to have children. I could see why other people wanted children; I could understand how enjoyable they could be. But there were too many things I wanted to do with my life and there was no time for children in my life. I had been married twice and hadn’t had any children. When I married Shelly 32 years ago I still didn’t want children. And then just a few months after Shelly and I were married we kept running into a friend of ours, Patricia Albere, who had just had a son, Alexander. He was [...]
If I Can Do It, Anyone Can
I frequently get emails and phone calls from people who have been struggling for many years, people who are unhappy with their lives much of the time. They ask: Is there anything that could possibly improve my life and allow me to be truly happy? The best way to answer that question is to relate a personal story. For most of my life I woke up every morning afraid to face the day. I was depressed and unhappy almost all the time. I had screwed up two marriages and was arguing a lot in my third. I was obsessively concerned [...]
Don’t Take No For An Answer
This week’s post is written by my wife, Shelly Lefkoe, who has been a Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitator for about 25 years. Although it was originally written for parents, her message is extremely valuable for all people. This is a really important post. Please read it. * * * * * * We work so hard to teach our kids to take “no” for an answer. We get annoyed when they don’t [...]
Are our emotions a good guide to action?
I recently got into a discussion about the appropriate use of emotions in making important decisions with my daughter Brittany. Several points that I have never written about or which were touched on only briefly in prior posts were discussed in our conversations. I think you will find our conversation on this topic useful as she raised some questions that I’m sure some of you also would raise if you had the opportunity. My first note to Brittany I’ll start with a note I sent to my daughter Brittany recently after she had said something about the importance of considering [...]
Is Doing it Perfectly Actually Better?
Today’s post is written by my daughter, Brittany Lefkoe. She has grown up around The Lefkoe Method (she had her first session at nine years old) and is a Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitator (she is Shelly’s facilitator when Shelly has a belief she needs help eliminating). She has been helping friends get rid of behavioral and emotional problems since she was in high school. She graduated from Washington University in St. Louis in May and is now living in San Diego with her fiancé, Erik. She has opened a private practice using The Lefkoe Method with her clients. * [...]
