How can you end negative feelings without the danger of suppressing them?
Some time ago, I said to an acquaintance "It's possible to give up having negative emotions" and he said, "But if you suppress your feelings they'll just come back when you least expect them. They'll mess with your mind and make you sick." This wasn't the first time someone has responded that way to my message. Many people assume that "not having a feeling" means really having it but suppressing it. They think you can only push a feeling out of awareness not change it. Because a few of you might share this idea (or at least know people that [...]
I need your help
During the past five years I’ve written about 300 blog posts about The Lefkoe Method and its many applications and implications. When I sat down to write this week’s post my mind just went blank. I couldn’t think of a single thing to write about. I’m sure there are many, many topics that would fit the theme of this blog, but I just couldn’t think of any. What I’ve tried to cover in my weekly posts are issues like: Various aspects of human behavior and human emotions, why we do what we do, why change is usually difficult and how [...]
What do you know that others think is untrue?
A few days ago I read a fascinating cover story in Fast Company magazine on Peter Thiel. Peter is a billionaire investor who co-founded PayPal, which was sold to eBay in 2002 for $1.5 billion. Since then he was one of the early investors in Facebook; he later invested in LinkedIn, Spotify, SpaceX and Airbnb. He obviously has a knack for determining what makes a successful company. So when I found out he had written a book, Zero to One, I ordered it immediately and read it in one day. I learned a lot about what it takes to grow [...]
Suppressing negative emotions is unhealthy
A couple of days ago when I told someone it is possible to totally stop having negative emotions, he replied: “But if you suppress your feelings they will pop out when you least expect them, causing psychological damage, in addition to harm to your health.” This is not the first time I’ve had this response; anytime I tell people that it is possible to stop having negative emotions they always assume that the only way to not experience negative emotions is to suppress them. Because so many of you might make the same assumption, I thought that I ought to [...]
You really can create your own happiness
After reflecting on an exchange of emails I had this morning, I had a profound realization. At the end of my first email I wrote: “P.S. Have an incredible week.” The person I sent that email to answered me: “You are most welcome…….you be sure and have a good one too!” There was no need to respond, but I found my fingers typing: “All my days are incredible. I create them that way! I wouldn’t have them any other way.” We create all our feelings—good and bad I’ve written many times that nothing could possibly happen that could make you [...]
But I Want To Have Positive Emotions
“If almost all emotions come from meaning and I no longer give meaning to events, does that mean I won’t have any more positive emotions?” A concerned woman in my current Lefkoe Freedom Course asked me this question last week and I think that everyone who reads my blog would be interested in my answer. I’d bet that most of you would like to stop the suffering that comes from negative meanings and yet most of you would not want to lose your ability to experience positive emotions. As I’ve explained in many posts in the past, it is possible [...]
I spoke at TEDx: How to stop suffering
For the past couple of months my main focus has been preparing a TEDx talk that I delivered in Hoboken, NJ last Friday, June 28. TEDx is the local version of the TED talks that are given annually in Long Beach, CA and that feature some of the most interesting people in the world, talking about “ideas worth spreading.” You can find hundreds of incredible TED talks, each a maximum of 18 minutes, at http://ted.com. So it was a real honor to be invited to present at a TEDx event. I talked about suffering—how suffering is the result of the [...]
Suffering is unnecessary
Imagine you’re driving down a country road at night and suddenly you get a flat tire. Have you ever had a flat tire late at night? How did you feel? Annoyed? … You open your trunk and discover you have no jack. Now you are really upset. You decide to walk back to a farmhouse you remember passing about a mile back. As you walk you start thinking: “Oh boy, I’m going to look like a city slicker who doesn’t even know how to change a tire. The farmer probably will laugh at me. He’ll make me feel ridiculous. He [...]
Do you experience stress?
Would you be surprised to learn that April 16 has been proclaimed National Stress Awareness Day in the United States? Once you realize that that is the day after income taxes are due, the date makes sense: paying taxes is stressful. What else causes most of us stress on a daily basis? Children not doing what we need them to do, spouses fighting with us over money or where to go for vacation, demands at work that we aren’t sure we can meet, having to make presentations in front of others who might judge us, fighting traffic, paying bills, [...]
