Is Buddhism correct to say suffering is inevitable?
Statue of Buddha The Buddha said that suffering is inevitable. Our experience seems to confirm that. In the course of an average week, most of us experience some emotional suffering as the result of feeling at least some unhappiness, upset, fear, or anger. To what do we almost always attribute the source of these unpleasant and painful emotions? Almost always we say the cause is something or someone outside ourselves: Losing a job or a loved one, being betrayed by a friend, lack of money, etc. We think: If only the people responsible for my upset would act [...]
How Can I Help You?
I’ve spent the last few days experiencing extreme gratitude for my healing (see note below for details on my health condition). That gratitude led me to wonder what I could do to support you, my readers. What could I write about, what could I offer you, what could I do for you to express my love and appreciation for your support of me? And not just those of you who took the time to write me: What could I do to express the deep love I feel for each one of you? Each week I try to provide some useful [...]
How do you communicate the unbelievable?
I’ve noticed that when I tell any medical personnel that my cancer diagnosis has resulted in absolutely no stress whatsoever, I am often met with outright statements of disbelief. Sometimes they are more polite: they smile politely and say: “That’s wonderful, and here is what I recommend when you feel stress.” Most of the people in the medical and psychological fields just can’t wrap their head around the fact that it is possible to eliminate virtually all negative emotions—in other words, end all mental suffering—from their lives without repressing emotions. It just isn’t possible! It’s incompatible with “human nature”! The [...]
“Courage” is not all it’s cracked up to be
Why do we admire certain “positive” qualities so much when they require us to be miserable? In last week’s post about how I was facing cancer without any fear whatsoever, I explained why I didn’t think that I was brave. Bravery requires experiencing fear and I wasn’t experiencing any fear. I went on to point out that you’re better off not feeling fear at all—which eliminates the need for bravery—than being brave. And I explained what you could do to eliminate all your fears. In thinking about that idea further this past week I realized that there were several other [...]
My cancer has spread to my liver; even that has no meaning.
Since my post a couple of weeks ago describing how I wasn’t giving meaning to my colon cancer diagnosis, there have been several new developments. I told you that I was scheduled for surgery to remove the cancer in my colon. I wrote: “I also learned that if the cancer had not spread beyond the lining of the colon and if it was removed surgically, the problem would be totally solved. If it had spread to other organs, then the prognosis could be serious.” (See my earlier post for more details: https://www.mortylefkoe.com/diagnosed-cancer/.) Well, it appears that the radiologist, who initially [...]
Is It Working For You?
In last week’s post I asked why most people don’t learn how to dissolve meaning when it makes such a profound improvement in their life and when they can learn the basic steps for doing without having to pay anything. That question resulted in over 50 responses so far. Thanks for taking the time to answer. I was fascinated reading all the different reasons people suggested. And that made me think: How many things in your life that don’t really work have you accepted because, “That’s just the way things are”? Is your life—the way it is right now—working for [...]
I’m Confused And Need Your Help
It’s really simple: if you stop giving meaning to events, your upsets and suffering will virtually disappear. I’ve explained how and why in great detail on many occasions. Here’s my confusion: Once someone understands this, why doesn’t he or she make it a priority to learn how to automatically dissolve the meaning he or she gives events and stop suffering? What keeps people from stopping their suffering once they realize it is not inevitable? Maybe it’s procrastination. Maybe some people are afraid of being responsible for their experience of life. Maybe there are some beliefs in the way. The thing [...]
I spoke at TEDx: How to stop suffering
For the past couple of months my main focus has been preparing a TEDx talk that I delivered in Hoboken, NJ last Friday, June 28. TEDx is the local version of the TED talks that are given annually in Long Beach, CA and that feature some of the most interesting people in the world, talking about “ideas worth spreading.” You can find hundreds of incredible TED talks, each a maximum of 18 minutes, at http://ted.com. So it was a real honor to be invited to present at a TEDx event. I talked about suffering—how suffering is the result of the [...]
Suffering is unnecessary
Imagine you’re driving down a country road at night and suddenly you get a flat tire. Have you ever had a flat tire late at night? How did you feel? Annoyed? … You open your trunk and discover you have no jack. Now you are really upset. You decide to walk back to a farmhouse you remember passing about a mile back. As you walk you start thinking: “Oh boy, I’m going to look like a city slicker who doesn’t even know how to change a tire. The farmer probably will laugh at me. He’ll make me feel ridiculous. He [...]
