I frequently get emails and phone calls from people who have been struggling for many years, people who are unhappy with their lives much of the time. They ask: Is there anything that could possibly improve my life and allow me to be truly happy?
The best way to answer that question is to relate a personal story.
For most of my life I woke up every morning afraid to face the day. I was depressed and unhappy almost all the time. I had screwed up two marriages and was arguing a lot in my third. I was obsessively concerned with being accepted by others. I considered suicide several times as the only way I knew to stop the pain.
At some point I started keeping a journal in which I wrote how I was feeling, what I thought was the source of my miserable state of affairs, and how to escape the horrific life I was living.
An entry from my journal 25 years ago
Here is an excerpt from that journal on May 11, 1988, almost 25 years ago. I had created the Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP) three years earlier, but I still didn’t fully understand how it worked and how to apply it effectively. At that point I was focusing on using the LBP in business rather than with individual clients, as I had been a management consultant for many years before I created the LBP. When I wrote this entry I had eliminated a few beliefs, but my life was still a real mess.
I feel afraid; nothing I do seems to work; I’m never going to get work [I had filed for bankruptcy a few years earlier and making money was still very difficult]; there is something wrong with me that is responsible for people not wanting me; maybe I’ll never figure out what the belief is that’s in the way; maybe there are so many that I’ll never find them all; I just want to quit; I want to run away and hide; I can’t face [my wife] Shelly ‑‑ she is being so brave, trying to deal with her own fears while getting ready to have a baby [Brittany, our second child, was born four weeks later]; it’s so hard on her; I feel guilty for not being able to provide a few simple things because I don’t have the money and so she is concerned.
What is going on? Several companies that have expressed an interest in what we offer either have not yet hired me or have told me that they will not be able to use me.
What do I believe or have I believed that may have led to this reality?
I’m going unconscious. I can’t focus. When I look I get nothing and start to go to sleep.
I’m efforting and struggling. I’m making it hard on Shelly—the overall stress and pressure, and specifically, money for fixing up Brittany’s room, basic clothing, etc.
I’m unable to buy a lot of things we’d like for Brittany; people who say they want to hire me are not doing it; people who say they will call back are not calling back; I’m frustrated a lot.
I’m not getting to manifest my vision, at least according to my pictures; I’m not getting a chance to make the contribution to people that I want to make; I feel I have so much to offer to people, I can make such a difference in so many ways, and I’m doing nothing.
I’m feeling very inefficacious; I haven’t been able to produce the results I’ve committed to producing. I’m feeling: There’s something wrong with me; I’ve got a hidden flaw, something basically wrong with me, that’s messing up my life, and I can’t do anything about it.
What I would write today
Fast forward to May 7, 2013. If I were still writing in a journal, here is what I would write today.
I am living in bliss. I am more than merely happy; I am totally content. I feel like I live in the “creator” state almost all the time: in other words, I feel as if anything is possible, I have no limitations, and there is nothing at all missing from my life.
After identifying and eliminating all the relevant beliefs and conditionings that caused my depression, my neediness, and my compulsive concern with what others thought of me, those problems disappeared. That cleared away most of the “negatives” from my daily life. At that point my relationship with Shelly and my kids was very good. I started getting The Lefkoe Method out into the world.
The next major breakthrough came after I developed the Lefkoe Occurring Process about three years ago. I stopped giving meaning almost all the time and dissolving the unconscious and automatic meaning we give events is now automatic. As a result my negative feelings have pretty much stopped. I no longer feel anxious, angry, upset, sad, etc. My relationship with Shelly and my two girls has become amazing. I haven’t had even a small argument with Shelly for many, many months. Nothing my kids do upsets me. My life has gone from very good to incredibly good.
There are no words to describe how good I feel today. If I had one wish for everyone in the world, it would be to feel as good as I feel now.
It would be a lot faster today
I took me 25 years to get from how badly I felt daily in 1988 to how incredible I feel now. But that’s only because I didn’t fully understand how the Lefkoe Belief Process worked during the first few years. I also didn’t have the conditioning processes, the Who Am I Really? Process to get into an altered state of consciousness, and, most importantly, the Lefkoe Occurring Process, which got rid of virtually all my negative feelings.
Today it is possible to get from the miserable state I wrote about in 1988 to the incredible high I feel almost everyday now in a relatively short period of time.
If I did it, so can you. There is no need to suffer any longer. Anything is possible. You have no real limitations. You now have available to you all the tools you need to create a life where it feels as if “there’s nothing missing.”
Stop suffering. Enjoy your life. Take action … today.
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