I’m Confused And Need Your Help
It’s really simple: if you stop giving meaning to events, your upsets and suffering will virtually disappear. I’ve explained how and why in great detail on many occasions. Here’s my confusion: Once someone understands this, why doesn’t he or she make it a priority to learn how to automatically dissolve the meaning he or she gives events and stop suffering? What keeps people from stopping their suffering once they realize it is not inevitable? Maybe it’s procrastination. Maybe some people are afraid of being responsible for their experience of life. Maybe there are some beliefs in the way. The thing [...]
You can have much more happiness than you realize
Most people are more interested in avoiding or relieving pain than in achieving and experiencing happiness. Thus most people go into psychotherapy or pursue “self-help” programs to overcome "problems"—such as changing some negative, undesirable behavior (e.g., procrastination or not taking action to further one's goals) or stopping some negative undesirable emotions (e.g., fear or depression). Far fewer people ask for help when they aren’t experiencing some obvious problem. In other words, relatively few people strive to improve their lives when it already seems to be “working.” Much more is possible There’s nothing wrong with that approach. I'd like to suggest, [...]
There was never anything to be upset about
Today’s blog post is a “how to.” Something happened to me recently that would have upset most people. It didn’t upset me. And I am going to show you how to keep similar “upsetting” situations from upsetting you in the future. The beginning of the story My wife Shelly and I were on our way to the bi-annual meeting of the Transformational Leadership Council in St. Maarten last week. The flight involved a change to planes in San Juan and we had only 30 minutes from the time we landed there until the connecting flight left. As we were waiting [...]
I was upset today … really upset
As I started to get dressed this morning it hit me. “It” was this overwhelming feeling of unhappiness, heaviness, and upset. I felt miserable. I did not want to go to work. I hadn’t felt this badly in many months. I hadn’t felt this way when I had awakened a couple of hours earlier. I had jumped out of bed when the alarm went off after getting plenty of sleep. I had put on my robe and gone down to my desk as I always do to spend about 45 minutes answering emails and preparing my schedule for the day. [...]
Get rid of the pain in your painful memories
Do you have memories that recur from time to time that are painful? Are there events from the past that upset you every time you recall them? Events such as breaking up after a long-term love affair, or getting fired from a job, or not getting something you had expected to get. If so, I have some good news for you. I am going to show you how you can quickly and easily dissolve the meaning you gave those “painful” events so that you will be able to recall them without the emotional discomfort that usually accompanies them. Dissolve [...]
Why what people do and say sometimes seems insane
Have you ever listened to something a friend or loved one said to you and thought: “They have to be insane! That makes no sense at all!” And what about things they do? Aren’t you flabbergasted when a friend or loved one doesn’t do something they promised to do or not returned a call for days? So much of what people do and say make little or no sense to us. Why? Things people say and do don’t make sense to us because we assume that they are giving events the same meaning we do. If we realized that [...]
How to eliminate suffering and get enlightened
There are two fundamentally different ways in which we can experience ourselves. First, the way most of us usually experience ourselves: as a creation—a separate entity distinct from other entities, whose survival is always at stake. Some people call this the ego. Second, as the creator of that creation—as consciousness, as Self, as non-dual awareness, as that which has always existed and always will exist. The creation is experienced as an entity that is either “good enough” or “not good enough.” The creator, consciousness, Self is not experienced as someThing; rather it is a state of consciousness in which one [...]
It worked. Brilliantly.
Remember last December I wrote that I was about to have a breakthrough? Well, I did. On February 16, 2010 nineteen people and I began the Lefkoe Freedom Experiment (LFE). Before we started I promised the participants: “You will learn how to transform the way you experience your life. No matter what the circumstances. Twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.” Actually, I had never taught anyone to do that before, but I like to promise things I’ve never done before. That’s the exciting part: Figuring out how to do things after I’ve promised to do them. The LFE [...]
Answers to questions about beliefs, Part 2
Here are my answers to a bunch of new questions I’ve been asked repeatedly about beliefs. 1. Once you understand that you can’t see beliefs in the world and that events have no inherent meaning, why do you have to go though the process time after time to eliminate additional beliefs? Remember, a belief is a statement about reality you think is true. And most people, because they are visual, think it is true because they think they saw it in the world. Even though you know in principle that all meaning is in your mind and you can’t really [...]
