In last week’s post I asked why most people don’t learn how to dissolve meaning when it makes such a profound improvement in their life and when they can learn the basic steps for doing without having to pay anything.  That question resulted in over 50 responses so far.  Thanks for taking the time to answer.  I was fascinated reading all the different reasons people suggested.

And that made me think:

bigstock-Road-Sign-Of-New-Life-And-Old--081313How many things in your life that don’t really work have you accepted because, “That’s just the way things are”?  Is your life—the way it is right now—working for you? 

Is thinking you are your thoughts and feelings and being run by them instead of noticing that you have thoughts and feelings working for you?

Is living with the stress and suffering caused by the meaning you give events all day long working for you?

Is having a bunch of negative beliefs that cause procrastination, a lack of confidence, fear of public speaking, fear of rejection, etc. working for you?

Is allowing fear to prevent you from doing the things you dream of doing working for you?

Is living with a concern about what others think of you and needing to do things just to be liked and accepted working for you?

If these situations don’t work for you, get rid of them

Most people in the world live with at least a couple if not most of these situations.  Despite the fact that living that way is not working for them, most people are not doing much if anything to get rid of them.  If this is true for you and any part of your reason is that you didn’t know you could quickly and easily eliminate those situations, the purpose of this post is to let you know that you can.

You can get rid of every one of them by eliminating a few beliefs, de-conditioning a few conditionings, or dissolving the meaning we give moment-to-moment events.

One of my favorite quotes has always been (Werner Erhard was the first person I heard say it): “You can either have what you want or all the reasons why you don’t have it.”  The reasons can make you feel “right,” but not very happy.  Why not choose to have what you want?

If living with these situations is not working for you and if very little is required to eliminate the situations that sabotage your happiness, don’t wait any longer.  Get rid of them.  Now.

Thanks for reading my blog.  Please post your questions or comments about some of the situations in your life that aren’t working for you.  Let us know either why you aren’t doing anything to get rid of them or what you intend to do to eliminate them once and for all.  I’d really like to hear stories of how you eliminated some of these situations from your life.

Your comments will add value for thousands of readers.  I read them all and respond to as many as I can.

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If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to where you can eliminate several limiting beliefs free.

Copyright © 2013 Morty Lefkoe


  1. Chrystal Overly September 29, 2013 at 5:09 pm - Reply

    Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s truly informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels. I’ll appreciate if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  2. Almog August 16, 2013 at 10:38 am - Reply

    Hey Morty

    As always, great post. I enjoyed reading it as always, and I agree that people should look to change their lives, but I have one argument that I think is relevant for this topic. Obviously, as you said, most people live most of their lives being run by their beliefs, thinking: “that’s just the way life is”… but I can think of a reason why most of them don’t turn to receive help.

    That reason is, that they BELIEVE that things cannot change. Some beliefs that cause this could be: “Change is difficult/impossible”, “I’m powerless”, “Nothing I do changes anything”, “It’s not worth trying to change my life”, etc.

    These beliefs are obviously caused by multiple events which include many unsuccessful efforts to make an impact over one’s own life. These events, I think, range from mild efforts to change one’s behaviour to “big” efforts such as taking sessions with a psychologist or a coach, receiving medicine destined to alleviate stress, and more, but all without seeing effective results.

    All this leads to beliefs and meaning-making. We all know the power they have over you, UNTIL you eliminate them. I suggest, that the real problem is that people don’t know what really causes their bad circumstances, along with being run by beliefs that make them think: “that’s just the way it is” and prevent them from doing anything to change these circumstances.

    If more people were familiar with The Lefkoe Method, their problems could be solved, easily.

    • Morty Lefkoe August 16, 2013 at 2:15 pm - Reply

      Hi Almog,

      Makes sense. I agree totally. The belief that change is impossible or I’ll never be able to change might well be the single biggest source of people’s failure to even try to change even when presented with a technique for free.

      Love, Morty

  3. biff August 15, 2013 at 12:06 pm - Reply

    Thank-you as always for your reply, Mr. Lefkoe…thank-you also for your “permission to feel bad”.

    Per your reply: “… there is no guarantee you will always get what you want.”

    While your blog post clearly states: “Why not choose to have what you want?”

    There is a clear inconsistency in these messages, which is not at all necessary to spread the word of your product or philosophy…the word “choose”, to me, and I am fairly certain to most English-speaking people, entails a sort of empowerment…that I could somehow get what I want. In fact the word “choose” almost implies a sort of “guarantee”, but then you go on to admit that there is “no guarantee”, which in this case is the same thing as “NO CHOICE”.

    Your message to me just now was very nuanced, and I don’t see why you wouldn’t have done that in your blog post, as well as any emails that advertised your post.

    Even if I did not send you any of my money, but only “spent” time here, or pondering the efficacy of your method, the reason I was drawn (“BAITED”) here was in the hopes of “choosing what I want”. (Your words, sir.) So to now find out that I will just have to deal with it (That is; not being with my family…as opposed to the emotions that come from not being with them.) is what I would consider a “SWITCH”.

    IF I were given a “choice” I would NOT choose to “feel good”…I would choose to be with my family. I am however not able to be with my family…for all intents and purposes I have been rejected by them. I do not expect you to “fix this”, but I hope you understand that it is certainly NOT “what I choose” OR “what I want”…and that there is no way for me to “choose” otherwise, because your method will not cause my family to accept me. Thus if I read somewhere that there is a way to “choose what I want”, it is, to say the least, mis-leading.

    Thank-you as always for your time.


    • Erdal August 16, 2013 at 8:40 am - Reply

      Hey Biff,

      I want to share a flash of insight with you:

      How about this: You always get what you want. But if you want more than one thing, if for example you want 2 things that are conflicting with eachother, then you get conflict. You are still getting what you want: You are putting out 2 energies (this is what wanting is, putting out the energy) , and then you get the conflict as a result.

      For example:
      Wanting 1: You want to be with your family.

      Wanting 2: You want to be accepted by your family.
      Living your life with this wanting you observe your family not accepting you, and you don’t accept their not accepting you so it comes to wanting 3:

      Wanting 3: Not accepting your family’s not accepting you.

      So, what happens is, in wanting 3, you put out an energy of not accepting them as they are, but in wanting 2, you want to be accepted by them as you are. And in wanting 1, you want to be with your family, but you are not accepting their not accepting you in wanting 3, so you literally push them away. But you are pulling them also, because of wanting 1 (wanting to be with them) .

      Your power is so strong that, nothing you desire goes unnoticed by the universe. None of your desires can be ignored by it, so if you put more than one desire, the result is like a prism combining lights.

      But if you are not aware of some of the desires you are putting out to the universe, then it will seem that you can’t get what you want, because those desires that you are putting out unawares are changing the situation, changing the resulting color of light coming out of the prism. And it seems that the desire you are aware of is not being fulfilled by the universe.

      To choose to have what you want is, putting out the desire to become aware of those desires that you are not aware of yet, and then letting go of those you don’t want, and putting out a clear desire without conflicting desires in its company to really get what you want.

      Call these desires, thoughts, beliefs or whatever you will. Lets call a belief a desire to see reality in a certain way.

      I think Morty’s belief elimination method helps you in finding, becoming aware of and letting go of some of these desires that you are not aware of.

      Morty’s occurring method is similar, but in this one, I think you are becoming aware of the resulting light of the prism initially, you are becoming aware of the resulting thought exiting the prism produced by multiple thoughts entering the prism. the resulting thought heavily influences the emotion you are feeling at the moment, so by recognizing that, and by recognizing that events inherently have no meaning, have no thought attached to them other than what you have been conditioned to attach, and that you are giving this meaning to events, you are directing the power producing the meaning, you can then somehow withdraw the power from this resulting light/thought. then the emotion produced by this compound resulting thought dissipates.

      Just wanted to share some insight and my current perception.

  4. KenH. August 15, 2013 at 11:47 am - Reply

    Morty I was sitting here after reading your post and it really got me to thinking. I am a fairly intelligent man and I have taken advantage of your free info on how to dissolve the meaning we give to events. Here is my problem, when an upsetting event occurs I completely forget what you have taught me and I do this repeatedly. I also have access in my library to books by some of the greatest self-help authors in the world, such as Jack Canfield, Tony Robbins and Jim Rohn, but I fail to apply their teaching in my daily life as well. I really don’t want to live my life like this anymore. Why do you think I keep doing this to myself? I really need to know. Could it be a self-esteem issues, where deep down I don’t really feel I deserve to succeed? Please help me.

    • Morty Lefkoe August 16, 2013 at 2:45 pm - Reply

      Hi Ken,

      Most people don’t do what they know they should do and usually beliefs are in the way.

      You have to eliminate the beliefs that cause the problem, not try to act inconsistently with the beliefs throughout the day. Our lives are run by our beliefs, not the information we’ve learned.

      Eliminating one belief and merely knowing that we create all the beliefs that run our lives will not make all the other beliefs go away.

      If you want to change your life, for real and for good, eliminate the beliefs that are causing your specific problems. ALso take our Lefkoe Freedom Course where you will learn how to make automatic dissolving the meaning you give to events moment to moment all day long. If you have to remember to do it, you are unlikely to do it. We teach you how to make it automatic so you don’t have to remember to do it.

      I doubt that the major issue for you is negative self-esteem beliefs.

      Love, Morty

    • Dan August 17, 2013 at 3:48 pm - Reply

      Hi Ken,

      I can’t certainty speak for Morty, but a few words… I definitely know where you’re coming from. I read and read trying to better myself but didn’t see that great of results until I looked deep within. Intellectually I understood, but my actions didn’t back it up. The root of the issue is in the unconscious mind. On the rational level, we are smart and have learned a great deal, but it’s the emotional mind where these illogical beliefs stay rooted and continue to sabotage our happiness to “keep us safe.”
      A tactic that works for me… meditate to get your mind quiet and just talked to your subconscious as if you’re a third party — ask why do I have this problem? then ask why is that? well, why? See what comes up – could be I don’t deserve or I am unworthy of success, etc.

  5. jason linder August 14, 2013 at 11:11 am - Reply

    Not sure if this post applies to oppressed, marginalized and politically repressed populations such as North Korea but it works for us affluent folks in Northern California.

    • Morty Lefkoe August 14, 2013 at 2:44 pm - Reply

      Hi Jason,

      I’m not saying that those are great circumstances or that people wouldn’t be better off in other circumstances, but either events have meaning or they don’t. And if they don’t then they are unable to cause feelings, regardless of what they are.

      Love, Morty

      • Erdal August 15, 2013 at 3:37 am - Reply

        Hey Morty,

        I am writing here to see another perspective to the last few blog posts and some of the messages under them you and people wrote.

        You are saying that events have no meaning. You are right in the sense that if we are aware that thoughts or emotions that are happening due to the past have no power over us in the present moment, we can choose to let go of any meaning that comes to our attention. (We called this occurring)

        The important thing is, for the majority of people their lives are almost completely composed of these occurrings. It is not just about suffering. Their reality is these occurrings. I think the occurrings even go on in their sleep, in the form of dreams.

        You are trying to awaken these people. So what can be done to most effectively awaken them? You are saying to them that events have no meaning. But events have meaning for them, it is whole their life! I know from personal experience, it is a really great shock to discover that whole your life you have lived life through these occurrings, these meanings in your head associated with everything you experience. This potentially can shatter the whole ego of the person. I am saying that there is a big leap here, so maybe (I know you are already doing this for years) you can help them be aware of the fact that this is not just about removing suffering or being happy, this is living life from an entirely different perspective, at where thoughts, emotions, physical events are just creations, but they are the consciousness in which these creations arise as events. This is about awakening to who you are, distinguishing between creation and consciousness, letting go of the thought that creation has power over you, letting go of the identity that is a creation, a structure in creation.

        This is a fundamental change, and I have been going through this for some years now and still haven’t got my footing well yet.

        Sending Love,

        • Morty Lefkoe August 16, 2013 at 2:20 pm - Reply

          Hi Erdal,

          Thanks for all your comments.

          I have written blog posts on the topic that you have occurrings, thoughts, and feelings, but yu are not your occurrings, thoughts, and feelings. It might be time to do another.

          I agree with you totally that “no meaning” is a major paradigm shift for most people.

          Love, Morty

  6. Carol Marshall August 14, 2013 at 8:07 am - Reply

    I think I need to do better brainstorming when I am face with a problem that should be dealt with. I think I do not always see All of the alternatives, or possibilities, but when I do spend more time looking for alternatives, I get better results. I need to get better with these issues. This one of the areas I am working on.

  7. D August 14, 2013 at 7:04 am - Reply

    are cycles normal? It seems like I work on things and they get better…but only for a short time and then everything crashes. It’s happen enough that now I think i’ve created a belief that goes something like ‘I’ll never actually get ahead, the universe has found a way to always put me HERE’ and then when I want to unprogram that I get something like ‘you’d have to be stupid to not learn from your own experiences’…… Any thoughts?

    • Morty Lefkoe August 16, 2013 at 2:57 pm - Reply

      Hi D,

      You say: I work on things and they get better…but only for a short time and then everything crashes.

      What do you meaning you “work on things”? If you eliminate all the relevant beliefs that cause a specific problem, things won’t get better and then worse. The problem will disappear forever.

      It sounds like you are trying to understand, “do” things, etc. That can make things better in the short run and in the long run your life is run by your beliefs.

      Love, Morty

      • D August 16, 2013 at 7:21 pm - Reply

        I guess I’m just not doing something right. What I mean by working on things is trying to eliminate limiting beliefs, doing energy work to keep my chakras balanced and meditate.
        I also notice that I will feel really good about getting rid of a certain belief, or take the meaning away from an event….but it seems like sooner outer later they surface again. Is that common? Do you think I’m making a mistake in how I use your method?

        • Morty Lefkoe August 19, 2013 at 5:09 pm - Reply

          Hi D,

          There are so many possibilities that I can’t possibly tell without having a session with you. Sorry. If you are interested in that, please call (415) 506-4472.

          Meaning does recur but it is possible to get to the point where dissolving meaning becomes automatic. For most people, once a belief is eliminated it is gone forever. Beliefs do come back for some people, but this is rare

          Love, Morty

  8. biff August 14, 2013 at 1:36 am - Reply

    What if what I “want” is to “not be rejected”? I do not “FEAR rejection”, but I do not “want it”…how can your magic trick cause other people to not reject someone? Isn’t this just to make the rejected person “not care” that they are rejected? But then they still don’t get what they “want”. Isn’t that false advertising, to say the least?

    • Morty Lefkoe August 14, 2013 at 1:46 am - Reply

      Hi Biff,

      There will always be some people who like you and welcome you and some people who don’t like you and reject you.

      So what if a few people in the world reject you? Why do you care? Being rejected, as such, has no meaning. If you didn’t give it a meaning, you wouldn’t care. Maybe you don’t fear it, but you have given it some meaning.

      Love, Morty

      • biff August 14, 2013 at 12:21 pm - Reply

        Thank-you very much for your reply, Mr. Lefkoe…

        Respectfully it seems as though the premise of your solution depends on your patients/clients/customers wanting to “feel better about themselves”. Nothing wrong with that at all, and in fact I feel it is extremely compassionate of you to offer solutions at any price. But what if I were actually willing to SACRIFICE “feeling better about myself” in order to be with the family that has rejected me? What if “what I want” is NOT to “feel better”, but to have my family again?

        I don’t deny that I have “given meaning” to events that happen in life…just as you gave meaning to the words I wrote in my 1st post, and no doubt, this post as well. But I take issue with your assumption that “the meaning I give the events” is what is causing ALL the pain. Not being with my family is what is causing the majority of the pain, and that is something completely out of my hands, and your hands too.

        For these reasons I feel, respectfully, that it is not entirely honest for you to say things like: “Why not choose to have what you want?”

        Thank-you for your time.


        • Joel Kaartinen August 14, 2013 at 2:08 pm - Reply

          I’m not Morty. However, I think I can answer this one.

          If you stop giving a meaning to being rejected, you will be much better able to stand being with people who reject you. In this case, your family. This means you’ll be less likely to react negatively to their rejection and thus sabotage your chances of being accepted again.

          It’s not an either or proposition. You can stop giving the rejection meaning and work towards repairing your relationship with your family at the same time. Doing so will increase your chances of success greatly.

        • Morty Lefkoe August 14, 2013 at 2:42 pm - Reply

          Hi Biff,

          Based on my expedience with over 14,000 clients, I’ve learned that events have no inherent meaning and are, therefore, unable to cause feelings. If you disagree, that’s fine.

          But I am being honest based on what I’ve learned from thousands of clients. They tell me they can choose what they want.

          And if you choose to feel badly, you certainly can make that choice.

          Love, Morty

          • biff August 14, 2013 at 8:01 pm

            Mr. Lefkoe; thank-you again for your reply…

            It is quite a leap to go from “Why not choose to have what you want?” to “You are CHOOSING to feel badly”, especially when I have already clearly stated that “what I want” is to be with my family…it is almost as though you are standing on my left foot and I ask you to please get off my foot, and you step onto my RIGHT foot!

            There is little doubt that I can “choose” to focus on feeling good or feeling bad about being rejected by my family…but it is ALSO just as clear that “choosing to feel better” about not being with my family is nowhere near as good as actually being with my family.

            You of all people should understand this…I have read your other posts about your love for your family, and I hope that you feel that they are not “replaceable”, or that “choosing to feel better” is just as good as (or better than) being with them.

            I figured out a long time ago that this was something that I would have to live with. But under no circumstances is it what I “chose”, and your claim that it is what I chose absolves you of responsibility…NOT for the things that have happened to me, but for saying in this post, and I quote: “Why not choose to have what you want?”

            I am sure that this will not bother you at all, and that you will choose to feel good about it, or feel that you wrote your post with the best of intentions and made every effort to be honest…but at the end of the day, your words lead me here with a promise of “what I want”, and then you told me in order to “get what I want”, I would have to “CHANGE what I want”. In addition you incorrectly assumed that “what I want is to feel better” when in fact what I want is “to be with my family”.

            You are clearly a man compassion AND intelligence, Mr. Lefkoe…why make such grandiose claims, for all the world-wide-web to see, and then tell everyone who shows up that they “were wanting the wrong thing all along”, or that “what they really want is to feel better”…with greatest respect: You certainly could have written your post with more straightforwardness. This is called “The Bait And Switch” in some circles, or “false advertising” in others.

            Again, I thank-you for your time.


          • Morty Lefkoe August 15, 2013 at 1:35 am

            Hi Biff,

            I’m not sure where to start.

            To begin with, if what you want is to be with your family, then be with your family. I didn’t say not to.

            I said that most of the things we want in life that we don’t have are due to beliefs, conditionings, and meanings. They are the biggest barriers to getting what we want in life. But even after getting rid of all those, there is no guarantee you will always get what you want. And if you want t0 be with your family and you can’t be, then keep looking for a way to get what you want.

            I was only saying that not being with your family cannot in itself produce an emotion. You have to give it a meaning first. (And until you experience that, that might not be real to you. It is to me and a couple of hundred people who have learned to dissolve meaning.) But that is not telling you to give up your family.

            Moreover I don’t understand the bait and switch accusation. That phrase is used to describe someone who offers something for sale and when the buyer shows up he is sold something else. I am not trying to sell anything. I am not offering one then and switching to another.

            It’s also fine to prefer something to feeling good. I don’t recommend feeling good. I tell people what is more likely to make them feel good. If you choose to not feel good, that’s fine with me.

            Most people want to get rid of emotional pain. So I show them how to do that. If they don’t want to use my advice, that’s fine with me.


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