Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions last year?  … What about the year before? …

If you are like most people, you worked on them through the middle of January and by early February you had forgotten you ever made them.  Or, perhaps after several years of failure, you stopped making New Year’s resolutions at all.

bigstock-New-Year-S-Resolutions-1162830Why don’t we do the things that we say we are going to do?  Things we really want to do?  Things that truly would benefit our lives?

The answer is simple.  Our behavior is not the result of our desires or even our commitments.  It is the result of our beliefs and conditioning.  And if there is a conflict between our beliefs/conditioning and our commitments/desires, the beliefs/conditioning usually will win.

Let me give you a few examples.

I’m going to stop procrastinating

A few years ago I had a client named Johnny whose problem was that he procrastinated a lot of the time.  He almost always let work projects go until the last minute. As a result, he was anxious much of the time and sometimes he would turn projects in late, which resulted in an upset boss.

At some point he decided he must change, so he made a New Year’s resolution to stop procrastinating the next year.  Because he was really committed, he did everything he could to insure his success.

  • He prioritized his activities, assuming that it would help him focus on the most important projects.
  • He made a schedule that helped him allot time during the month for work on the projects.
  • He put up reminders in prominent places.
  • He created rewards to give himself when he finished a project—a special dinner or a new item of clothing.
  • He asked his friends to support him.

And yet—despite this detailed strategy for keeping his resolution—by early February he told me the problem was as bad as ever.

I asked Johnny what thoughts and feelings he had when he was about to do what he knew he should do at work, just before he put it off and did something else instead.  He gave me the following list.  (Notice that the first two are his occurrings, the meaning he gave to having a project to complete.)

  • What I do might not be good enough.
  • People might judge my work badly.
  • I feel uncomfortable when I think about doing the project.

Can you see that these thoughts and feelings were keeping him from acting? That most people with those thoughts and feelings probably would procrastinate, especially with important projects?

After a short discussion we found a number of beliefs that were causing the thoughts and feelings, including these three:

  • I’m not good enough.
  • What makes me good enough is having others think well of me.
  • Mistakes and failure are bad.

These beliefs (and several others) led to the thoughts and feelings that caused Johnny’s procrastination.  After I helped him get rid of the beliefs, the procrastination stopped … totally.

If you resolve to stop procrastination, eliminate all of the relevant beliefs and your New Year’s resolution will finally manifest.

I’m going to find a great relationship this year

Here’s another story that will explain why it can be so difficult to stick with our New Year’s resolutions.

Years ago I had a friend, Jennifer, who really wanted a great romantic relationship.  In fact, it was all she could talk about.  But she either went months at a time without any relationship at all, or she would get into disastrous relationships that didn’t last more than a couple of months and then ended with a lot of upset.

One year she made a New Year’s resolution to create a great guy in the coming year.  She made a list of all the qualities she wanted, visualized what he looked like, and imagined spending time with him as he did all the things she imagined this great guy would do.

But after February came and went she asked if I would put on my professional hat and help her.  We quickly identified the following beliefs, among others: I’m not good enough.  I’m not lovable.  I’m not deserving. Men can’t be trusted.  Men are jerks. Relationships don’t work.  I’ll never get what I want.

What were the chances of a nurturing long-term romantic relationship with beliefs like these? … Slim to nil.  So I helped her eliminate these and a few other beliefs and conditionings.

By June she was in the relationship of her dreams and by the end of the year she was married.  (Obviously, not everyone who eliminates the beliefs that act as barriers to getting what they want will automatically get what they want if they eliminate those beliefs.)

I’m going to lose weight

With about 70% of American adults obese or overweight, the resolution to lose weight is probably a common one.

Unfortunately, the reason people have a difficult time losing weight is the same reason they overeat and gained the weight in the first place.

As I explain in detail in my eBook, The Secret to Ending Overeating For Good, (http://emotionaleatingreport.com) overeating—in other words, eating when you aren’t hungry—is caused both by conditioning and beliefs.  And most people’s weight problem is the result of overeating.  In other words, if you only ate when you were truly hungry—and not for emotional reasons—and you ate healthy food with a modicum of exercise, you would not gain weight.

Overeaters have conditioned eating as the “drug of choice” whenever certain emotional “triggers” occur, such as feeling lonely, bored, anxious, feeling unlovable, depressed, stressed, or rejected.

Many also have beliefs like: If I don’t eat the food in front of me now, there won’t be any later. If I can’t eat “bad” foods, I’m missing out. The way to keep food from running my life (like it did my mom’s) is to eat whatever I want to eat.

What are the possibilities of keeping your resolution to lose weight if you have conditionings and beliefs like these?  Again, not too good.  On the other hand, if you get rid of all the relevant beliefs and conditionings, your overeating will stop naturally and automatically, and losing weight will be relatively easy.

Next year is the year you can achieve all your resolutions

As you make your list of what you resolve to do next year, take a look and see if you have any beliefs or conditionings that might be barriers to achieving any of your goals.  If so, get rid of them and then notice that, perhaps for the first time, you keep your New Year’s resolutions and you achieve all that you want.

Happy Holidays!  May you continue to dissolve the barriers to your “creation’s” happiness and well being and may you continue to experience yourself as the “creator” you actually are—with nothing missing and anything possible.

Let’s have this coming year be the year you make all your dreams come true.

Thanks for reading my blog.  Please share below your thoughts and questions on keeping your New Year‘s resolutions.  Your comments will add value for thousands of readers.  I read them all and respond to as many as I can.

If you think others will find this post useful, please tell your friends and followers by using the buttons located both at the top and the end of this post.

To get my blog posts as podcasts, sign up for the RSS feed above or look up “Morty Lefkoe” at iTunes to have the podcasts sent to you weekly.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to http://www.recreateyourlife.com where you can eliminate one limiting belief free.

Copyright © 2010-2013 Morty Lefkoe

Use this information to improve your life

Do as I suggest in the post.

  • First, make a list of all the things you resolve to accomplish next year.
  • Second, make a list of all the beliefs you might have that could sabotage your efforts to achieve each one. (For some tips on how to find the beliefs causing specific problems, see my earlier posts: https://www.mortylefkoe.com/092209/#   and  https://www.mortylefkoe.com/find-beliefs-underlying/#).
  • Third, eliminate those beliefs.
  • Fourth, celebrate your achievements.


  1. ray January 3, 2014 at 10:39 am - Reply

    hi morty
    i have always had a problem with my age since i was about 21 years old or even less.i am in my rfifties now ,even now i dont want to devulge my age.i do think its beliefs that make me not want to let it known.i dont have birthday parties because of it.

    • Morty Lefkoe January 3, 2014 at 12:20 pm - Reply

      Hi Ray,

      I am not sure what beliefs you have that have you unwilling to reveal your age. In a session with one of our Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitators we could help you identify and eliminate the beliefs responsible.

      For more information or to set up a session please call us at (415) 506-4472.

      Love, Morty

  2. ZQuiet November 26, 2013 at 11:47 pm - Reply

    Although, habitual snoring more usually than not affects
    men that are older, there also a sensible number of ladies that do often begin to snore on a regular
    basis. People suffering with any kind of sleep apnea repeatedly stop breathing during sleep.

    The best ways to combat snoring would always include lifestyle changes, such as getting plenty of exercises, keeping your weight down, having a healthy and balanced diet, and avoiding alcohol and
    cigarettes, among others.

  3. Lily Baker October 17, 2013 at 11:18 am - Reply

    It’s not my first time to pay a quick visit this web page, i am visiting this web site dailly
    and get fastidious data from here everyday.

  4. Today, my favorite large “meaty” tomato is the Beefmaster.
    Ray Kelly is an Exercise Scientist with 15 years experience in
    the health and fitness industry. These days air conditioners are a necessary luxury.

  5. funny bites January 10, 2013 at 7:02 pm - Reply

    this is very true… conditioning and belief create your life. Eliminating negative belief from past experience can be done through this method.

    More power

  6. Randy January 7, 2013 at 8:39 pm - Reply

    Hi Morty,

    If we eliminate every beliefs in our mind( if possible in every area of life), what would happens then ? Are we going to forget how to behave and have to re-learn a better way of living ?

    I’ve eliminated beliefs all on my own. Some side-effects are : – Speaking without trying to please – If someone made a joke I didn’t like, I don’t laugh – If someone ask me to agree with them on something and I don’t like it, I say no – I speak more to contribute to the convo instead of getting reactions(which I need to improve on). It would be good if I had a session with a facilitator but seeing I’m 17, I don’t know if it would be possible.

    – Randy

  7. Daniel January 4, 2013 at 3:58 am - Reply

    Hi Morty, your blog is awesome.

    Could it be possible that someone has the beliefs “Anything I do by obligation is boring” and “Anything boring can’t be done” (or something similar)?

    I’m having really a BAD time trying to do some project that I NEED to get done. (constant procastination, depression…)

    Thank you for everything, Morty
    (I’m thanking you for your blog posts and ideas, not for answering my question. I tried once to thank you for your blog, but I felt stupid and didn’t do it)

    • Morty Lefkoe January 5, 2013 at 3:44 pm - Reply

      Hi Daniel,

      Thanks for readingmy blog and for taking the time to tell me.

      Procrastination is the result of beliefs, but not the ones you mentioned. The beliefs that cause procrastination for most people are available in our Natural Confidence program. In fact we guarantee that this program will get rid of your procrastination. Check it out at http://naturalconfidenceprogram.com.

      Love, Morty

  8. Randy January 2, 2013 at 11:00 pm - Reply

    Hi Morty,

    Are personalities largely a result of beliefs or genetics/dna ? If they are mostly beliefs I can become whatever person I wish to mold myself into correct ?

    • Morty Lefkoe January 3, 2013 at 12:37 pm - Reply

      Hi Randy,

      Personalities are primarily the result of beliefs, although we seem to come into life with some type of personality.

      Love, Morty

  9. Randy January 2, 2013 at 6:54 pm - Reply

    I’ve tried eliminating a belief I have called ” Nothing ever works for me”. I was playing a video game just now and usually when I play it if I get caught during the game or feel like I’m going to lose, I quit or restart but now I just go with it. I don’t back down and cancel or quit.

    It seems like beliefs like that have an impact on something as mundane as video gaming ! So my beliefs will effect me on every level of life. I have other beliefs I want to eliminate. I want to completely remove video game playing they are a waste of time done immoderately. I’m still quite surprised that my beliefs has an impact on something like video games.

  10. Randy January 2, 2013 at 3:32 pm - Reply

    Hi Morty,

    Is it possible to be conditioned to feel fatigued each time you need to work ?
    When I get to school, I feel tired and just want to sleep. I keep yawning.
    I remember in the past because my homework was so hard and boring I fell asleep instead of doing the work. So the conditioning could be : LethargY or Tired associated with work ? I think I also have several beliefs in the way too.

    • Morty Lefkoe January 2, 2013 at 4:06 pm - Reply

      Hi Randy,

      It is unlikely to be conditioning. You have some beliefs about school and/or your ability to perform well in school that are likely causing the fatigue, which is a way to avoid that which you are afraid of.

      Love, Morty

  11. Lauren January 2, 2013 at 1:00 pm - Reply

    I am using the occurring tools to dissolve the current feelings I have about eating when I’m not hungry, but I’m still not sure what my beliefs and conditionings are about eating and food. When I was nine years old(and I remember this vividly), my mom boiled onions for dinner. I did not like onions, but she wouldn’t let me leave the table until I did. What nine year old wants to sit at the table for hours? So I ate them. I discovered I liked them, but I felt like I lost something in the process and it has affected me ever since. Before that, I ate what I wanted to eat and the amount I wanted and stayed healthy. After that, it was like I felt like I HAD to eat something even if I didn’t particularly care for it or wasn’t hungry. Since then I’ve sat watching tv in the evening and felt like I needed to eat something, usually salty and fatty. I eat a fairly healthy diet and exercise regularly, it’s this one thing that keeps me from losing the weight I want.
    Love and Light on the Journey,

    • Morty Lefkoe January 2, 2013 at 4:30 pm - Reply

      Hi Lauren,

      It doesn’t sound like conditioning. It sounds like a belief that we could probably identify and eliminate in one session. If that’s your only weight issue we could eliminate it pretty easily and quickly.

      Call us at (415) 506-4472 if you want to handle it.

      Love, Morty

  12. Suzanna Kiraly January 2, 2013 at 11:17 am - Reply

    Thanks for this valuable post Morty,

    I realized that many times I would postpone getting things in the present by thinking: “I can’t have Y until I do X”. Also, I had manifested my “perfect guy” and was very attracted to him from the moment I met him, but when I met him, he already had a girlfriend. I realized that I had the belief that “all the good ones are already taken” and so I manifested him as being already taken. I realized that it is not enough to just summon your perfect match. You also should ask the universe that when you meet that person, they should be available to be with you and that they should be just as attracted to you and excited about wanting to be with you as you are about them.


  13. Oliver December 31, 2012 at 5:48 pm - Reply

    Great post…loved it…so true

    It’s always been the belief that has stopped the resolutions from taking place, but sometimes that belief isn’t always so easily apparant (and you have to really think and dig deep hard to find the negative belief that is holding you back)

    Thanks again, for the reminder;-)

    Happy new year

Leave A Comment