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For most of my life I didn’t want to be me. I was so unhappy with my life that being almost anyone else would have been preferable to being me. For many years I wanted to be Fred Astaire, because I loved the joyful, bright sense of life he projected, an experience that I rarely felt.
Today is my birthday and I am 74 years young. I feel and look at least a decade younger than my chronological age. And today I am happy to be me and wouldn’t consider being anyone else.
What is the source of this dramatic shift?
Getting rid of all the beliefs and conditionings that led me to be depressed and unhappy most of the time. And then learning how to stop giving meaning to the daily events in my life. Today I experience myself as the creator of my life almost all the time and I’ve stopped giving meaning to events most of the time, which has almost totally eliminated stress from my life. I’ve stopped seeking; I know I’m already there. I feel anything is possible and that I have no limitations. I experience virtually all my circumstances as okay just the way they are.
Why am sharing this with you?
Because what I did to reach this state is available to you too. Anyone (including you, yes, even you!) can experience a sense of wholeness, feeling totally okay with the way you are, and that you are the creator of your life. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time and it isn’t very expensive.
Please don’t give up your dream of a life of joy and success. I was about as low as you can get and I’ve now reached a state of total satisfaction with my life. You can too. Don’t wait until your 74th birthday to be truly happy with your life.
I’d love to hear from you with your thoughts about overcoming all your barriers and living a life of true bliss. Please write your comments below.
If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.
For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings, which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.
These weekly blog posts also exist as podcasts. Sign up for the RSS feed or at iTunes to get the podcasts sent to you weekly.
Copyright © 2011 Morty Lefkoe
Dear,
Here’s a suggestion for the future. Since you have this kind of knowledge why not create a book, containing all these ideas you share in a structured way.
Hi Ali,
I am in the process of putting my best blog posts into an eBook that will be available early next year.
Thanks for the interest in our work.
Love, Morty
I came across this post and just wanted to say that i was mind blown after reading this. It’s amazing and you are truly a unique human being. Take care
– Haneen
fisrt of all happy birthday .
thank you sir for you precious advices, i feel like you are talking about me and about my life, the only difference between us is that you succeeded in accepting yourself and who you are where as” me ” i still wish to be another one not me,if only i could i ‘d never hesitate, i don’t like myself at all ,help me please.
Hi Morty,
I have just blogged your above post, as promised to you much earlier, at the link below:-http://liftyouup.blogspot.com/2011/05/real-experience-which-you-should-not.html and hope you will link it back to your site.
Thank you and trust you like it,
James Oh
Hi James,
Thanks for telling your followers about this post and linking to it.
Have a great day.
Love, Morty
Actually, I am quite UNhappy with who I turned out to be. At 50 years now.
Hi
jus want to say that I liked reading your blog, a very inspiring message, and about the question Am I happy with who I am ?
theh answer is ABSOLUTELY.
i have achieved the state of total transcendence, the one you have achieved now, And I am only 29. (chronologically) :)
I actually look like an 18 year old, am marrid to the love of my life, hez my soul mate, live in my dream home, receive my ideal income, completely effortlessly, and my days and nights are jsut magic, I am living my dream life at its most beautiful. I just want to let the whole world know, Please believe in your dreams , they are as real as anything .
Many Thanks
God Bless
Happy Birthday Morty!
May You Live a Long Life
May you live a long life
Full of gladness and health
With a pocket full of gold
As the least of your wealth
May the dreams you hold dearest
Be those which come true
May the kindness you spread,
Keep returning to you.
happy happy happy happy happy happy happy birthday 2 u, & many more, morty (((;
if Jesus in us with us & follow jesus,& live by the blood of the lamb, how else can be but happy how who are! its wot ppl place on u wot brings down, if allow it! so follow follow I will follow Jesus & he will lead yr path!
Happy Birthday, Morty! Many, many more!
Hi Mort
Well happy birthday. I’m happy (for the most part) with who I am
but in terms of physical prowess much prefer the younger version LOL. As Paul Newman said: aging isn’t for sissies.
Riley
Hello, Morty! Happy Birthday to you! Wish you all the best!
I have one problem that stops me!
My father is an alcoholic very hard one! I don’t know how to get rid of him, because we can’t help him any more he is hopless, and that is great obstacle. What can you suggest?
Hi Morty! Happy Birthday, you look great.
I have no problem being me and I have never wanted to be anyone else. I have a problem with where I am in life and feel like nothing is going to change. We (my husband and I) continue to have hard luck (and I don’t even believe in luck) no matter what we do. My husband has been unemployed for 2.5 years and myself for 5 months. What is that saying, it’s not what happens but how you respond to what happens that matters – well my optimism has turned to pessimism and I don’t know how to change it. I’m really not sure anyone can help.
May be it’s not a good advice, but never give up and keep on going and trying! And don’t quit beleiving in yourself and your husband! Sometimes it takes only one day to change situation upside-down.
And if this struggle is between you and you I’m sure you can win!!!
Happy Birthday Marty I am glad you were born. Thanks for all the helpfull information you have given out and thanks for giving it free so we can grow up.
God Bless and keep you another 74 years
Hi Morty i would just like to wiish you a very happy birthday may you be blessed with joy peace and love all the days of your life .With my heartfelt thanks for all your kindness you have shown me and so many others .
Kind Regards June.
Happy birthday first of all!
I’ve gone through your program and I feel a ton better, but I still feel a ton bad.. haha…
I feel like I want to feel bad and I want to be miserable…. not really– but that any other way is impossible. Like being miserable gives me pity and attention and that’s what makes me feel important or good enough. But I feel like I suppress who I am for the sake of others and feeling like there’s nothing wrong with me and I feel so wrenched up inside…
I feel like I freak out every time things are all good.
I don’t want to go solve problems, I just want to find them and “figure them out” but never actually do it… I get so frustrated, but more so about being who I am.
I deny love and affection and try to start conflict because as soon as someone is totally okay with me I feel they’ll be done with me and leave. I feel I have nothing to do with myself. I hate being alone and I feel like when I’m alone and when people aren’t giving me any attention I’m not loved or cared about and it’s better to fight and feel miserable and have pity than to be totally alone and feel empty…
I just want to figure out why I’m suppressing myself around others. I don’t need people to like me, I just feel the need to please others and give them all the power, be subservient, give them the lead, make them important and I usually say nothing but short responses to what they say in conversations… Why am I suppressing myself? I know I could be fun, but the feeling of outshining others or standing out makes me feel like it’s wrong because others are hurt by it…
All i can tell you is this playing small does not serve the world and there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you .WE ARE ALL MEANT TO SHINE;
So leave your own LIGHT SHINE and this way you also give permission to other people to do the same so go out there and live your life and have fun you deserve to be true to yourself best of luck June.
Ryan,
Limiting belief: as soon as someone is totally okay with me I feel they’ll be done with me and leave.
Limiting belief: when I’m alone and when people aren’t giving me any attention I’m not loved or cared about.
Limiting belief: outshining others or standing out is wrong because others are hurt by it…
Limiting belief: In order for people to like me I must please others, act subservient, and let them say everything.
Actually, the way you are around people could be driving them away because you’re not letting them know who you are.
You still haven’t eliminated the beliefs: I am powerless. What I have to say isn’t important. It’s dangerous to have people focus on me or put their attention on me. I’m not good enough.
June has it right. You don’t serve the world by hiding your light; in fact how can people relate to you if you’re constantly suppressing yourself? Perhaps a session with Morty or one of his facilitators could help you figure where you picked up the beliefs and eliminate them.
Love and Light on your Journey,
Lauren
(whose been there)
Thank you June and Lauren. I really thought about what you said June, and Lauren I thank you for doing me the favor of listing the negative beliefs out for me :) I find it hard to want to be organized… I don’t want to slow down or think clearly about it, I want people to show their care and do most of the work unfortunately. I’m afraid of the empty feeling I get when I succeed and there’s nothing left to do.
I’ve always seen the hope, only sometimes is it very dim, but it’s there and that’s what’s kept me going for the past few years in trying to better myself as a person. Still, I would like to accomplish something for once… Looking back I can’t say I feel responsible for any of my own accomplishments or progress. Just saying that here for you all to read is like this cry for help even though I really don’t need it to accomplish anything… I just feel better when people are there for me, so thank you… :)
I’ve gone through your program and I feel a ton better, but I still feel a ton bad.. haha…
I feel like I want to feel bad and I want to be miserable…. not really– but that any other way is impossible. Like being miserable gives me pity and attention and that’s what makes me feel important or good enough. But I feel like I suppress who I am for the sake of others and feeling like there’s nothing wrong with me and I feel so wrenched up inside…
I feel like I freak out every time things are all good.
I don’t want to go solve problems, I just want to find them and “figure them out” but never actually do it… I get so frustrated, but more so about being who I am.
I deny love and affection and try to start conflict because as soon as someone is totally okay with me I feel they’ll be done with me and leave. I feel I have nothing to do with myself. I hate being alone and I feel like when I’m alone and when people aren’t giving me any attention I’m not loved or cared about and it’s better to fight and feel miserable and have pity than to be totally alone and feel empty…
I just want to figure out why I’m suppressing myself around others. I don’t need people to like me, I just feel the need to please others and give them all the power, be subservient, give them the lead, make them important and I usually say nothing but short responses to what they say in conversations… Why am I suppressing myself? I know I could be fun, but the feeling of outshining others or standing out makes me feel like it’s wrong because others are hurt by it…
Happy birthday man !!
Look a decade younger, yet your a decade wiser !!
Ian
Happy Birthday Morty. This is a great blogpost.
Be Well,
Michaiel
Morty,
When I discovered your site in March of 2010, I was on a quest. The quest was a long standing thing. Since I was 21 and feeling suicidal I stated, “There’s got to be something better than this.” Along the way, I discovered bright notes of happiness esp. when I could write poetry(a real lifesaver in my teen years) to express what I couldn’t articulate out loud. Like I’ve written before, I’ve read countless books, listened to tapes and cds and dvds to find a way to wholeness. And I didn’t like myself very much; I always throught there was something wrong with me. And most of the self-help literature talks about changing “false beliefs” which felt like an attack on my sense of self. I wished I could be more like my sister who didn’t seem to be plagued with constant self-doubt and self-hatred. Then I discovered the LBP: a step by step process that validated, then had me thinking about how my life was woven of interpretations of events.
Now, the quest for “fixing” myself is over. I am instead on a different quest: living my life from a core of happiness and love. As Theresa above says, “I’ve stopped giving meaning to a majority of events”. I am now on Dr. D’Adamo’s Genotype Diet and the LOP is helping me tremendously. Every day presents its challenges; now I can face them from a center of wholeness and confidence instead of feeling partitioned and full of doubt.
Love and Light to all on their Journey,
Lauren
Hey Morty, Happy Birthday! You’re doing some amazing, transformational work for lots of people. I’m excited for what’s to come from you!
Happy Birthday Morty!!!
You do look at least a decade younger. Wishing you and your family a success and hppiness!!!
Maria
Hey Morty!
Happy birthday, man, you rock! :-)
Until next week!
Andrea
Morty!
Happy 74!! I was thinking actually that you were around 59.. but only a couple years off. I will be in Marin to visit the family from June 7th to June 24th and it’d be nice to see you and Shelly and any if your lovely daughters in they’ll be around.
Love, Jason
The girls were just here visiting. Won’t be here next month. But we’d love to see you. Tell your mom to work something out
Love, Morty
Happy Birthday Morty!
When I was a dealer in Vegas (one of my many former careers), I had a lot of opportunity to talk to and observe people. There’s a lot of misery in a casino, as you can imagine. Every once in a while, I’d see an older person who was happy and having a great time (the younger ones who were smiling were usually drunk). These were rare and special individuals. They’d stay chatty and upbeat even if they lost money. They were fun to talk to. They were so comfortable with who they were. They were obviously really enjoying life and I always thought “I want to be like them when I get old.” After a few such conversations, I realized that they hadn’t started to be happy and really living when they retired. They had been like that at 20 and 30 and 40… The time to start being happy is right now not someday when we have the time, or the kids are grown up or we’ve paid off the house. Right now. And I think the first step is to make peace with who we are.
Thanks for an inspiring post.
Hugs,
Melody
I think one of the things that I’ve learned over the last couple of years is that trying to always be in a state of comfort, where no problems or challenges exist, is what causes most of the unpleasantness. The “I can’t stand _________” mentality that seems to plague us fat, lazy westerners :). I think you have to reach a point where everything is always OK, even when life seems to be shitting on your head. Especially in those moments.
Birthday Blessings Morty ~ Love & Gratitude
Happy Birthday, Morty!
I just wanted to say I really enjoyed the Occurring Course I just finished a month ago. I too have stopped giving meaning to events (the majority of the time), which has eliminated most of the stress from my life. When I’m rehabbing a house and something isn’t perfect, I find myself being OK with whatever is going on and dealing with what is real (“we need to call a plumber”), rather than an old interpretation of it (“this is a mess and it shouldn’t be this way”). And btw, the first rehab I finished is in escrow, the new buyers LOVE the house and we close next week!
Thanks for all your help and many more happy birthdays to you!
Love,
Theresa
Morty,
I have been out of town and off the computer for a few days and I wanted to wish you the happiest of birthdays and sorry for finding out late.
To Your Best,
Dr. Houston Vetter – DocResults
http://DocResults.com
Morty,
Happy Birthday to you.
Limiting beliefs, barriers, and giving meanings to life’s events. The last one I haven’t been to focused on but I do realize the need for giving meaning to everything that happens to us.
It’s like an obsession to give meaning so that we constantly have an idea of what is happening or is going to happen.
I like the idea of things just happen without having to attach a meaning to it.
Thanks Morty.
Hi Morty,
Happy Birthday, to you :0)
Thank you, for sharing your knowledge with us, i’m going to check out your limiting beliefs and hope it works to sort out my mental torturing mind chatter with regards to my mum.
Hope your the cure for me :0)
Love and Blessings
Hi Morty:
Happy Birthday – you must be a good (as we say here in Australia) bloke becaue my birthday is the day after yours!!
So much truth in what you share.
I am 51 today and it took until I was in my 40’s to accept who 7 what I am and live a better life (NB having the right life partner is an essential ingredianet).
Anyway – love what you do, what you say and what you offer.
More power to you brother!!
Be & stay well.
Happy birthday Morty :+)
You are so priviliged with your discoveries. May life always be Blessed and gentle on you.
How do you move from being stuck in sabotage and fear of success to action and hapiness?
Love
Teresa
Very happy birthday to you, Morty.
Thank you so much for sharing your invaluable experience. Here, I must admit that I had gone through similar experience like you before, but not as serious as yours and manage to prescribe same way as yours to overcome it.
My situation is slightly different from yours as I always try to make myself perfect and joyful that lead me, unknowingly, unhappy and depressed frequently.
However, when I stopped giving meaning to events and look at things at positive side. I realized that it is almost eliminated stress from my life. I stopped seeking; and contented with I have achieved. I practised through time and finally attained unlimiting belief and believe everything is possible, as affirmed in Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Christ, who strengthen me. This belief bring a breakthrough results for me.
Before I ended here, I write to seek your consent to share your article with my blog readers. Trust my request will meet your consideration and approval. Thank you in advance, James
As such, I strongly believe that everyone can achieve this state of mind so long as the person chose to look at thing positively and contented with the condition the person currently in.
Hi James,
You are certainly welcome to share this post with your readers. Please put a link by to my blog for people to read more of my posts.
Thanks, love, Morty
Happy birthday,
you do a great job. Stay happy. Enjoy – not only the day – but the life. Each day is a birthday in the morning. Be greatfull about this gift, it’s not given to use it for fear or angry.
Hi Morty
Wow!! You totally look younger than your 74 years! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Thanks to you…the Lefkoe Method…my days just keep getting better. My first book signing is this evening, just family and friends mainly but I received a call from the local Waterstones store (they are the UKs major high street book retailer) to organise a book signing.
It is, without question, because I now believe I am good enough…bring it on ha-ha.
Hope you have a fabulous day.
Shelley :-)
You certainly have every right to be happy and to love yourself because you surely are a blessing to the world in a way that ONLY YOU can do.
Many blessings to you Morty and a very Happy Birthday!
“You certainly have every right to be happy and to love yourself because you surely are a blessing to the world in a way that ONLY YOU can do”
Something in this sentence sounds weird to me. Are you saying that we need to earn the right for happiness and love through being a blessing, we have no right to be happy and love ourselves otherwise? I certainly agree on the blessing of Morty’s work, but when I read your sentence it makes me feel that, unless I become a blessing and contribute something extraordinarily to the world, I have no right to feel happy and loved. Just curious.
I can’t even imagine a joyful life! Or i even can do it, in an imperfect suffered way, by picturing some impossible romantic life with idealized love, which is one of my survival strategies. My core beliefs are all about how bad and useless life is. I never blamed me for the problems and suffering in life lol. Blamed life, the creator, mom, etc., never myself. What a little Freud lol :)
I got to know your work in January this year, studied a lot, but in real and practical life i’m totally stuck! Can’t do anything! Believe in nothing! There are so many mental barriers that i just can’t do anything!
I’m glad that you brought that up (“thoughts about overcoming all your barriers”), not to just dump this negative situation lol, but because i started to identify this “self-help paradox” in my life, this impossibility: if we are conditioned by our beliefs, and they ultimately determine how we act, feel and think, then, how the hell we can act on changing them??? When a procrastinator will resolve his procrastination? Tomorrow? In an hour? He will procrastinate, obviously! Don’t want to act! Add to that lots of fears, feelings, traumas, beliefs, all of them very strong and fortified by many years of auto-encouraging them, and this is pretty much a picture of the situation that i became!! An impossible puzzle!!! There are literally hundreds of beliefs in the way when i try to do one session with me. This ends up hurting and traumatizing me!! What a mess in my mind!!
I managed to eliminate some minor beliefs, but it was a very very uncomfortable situation. I got in the creator zone once also, but I have very strong beliefs about reality and came back in the first annoyance. After these frustrating experiences, i started to live some kind of survival strategy and couldn’t return to try more work, I could only distract myself doing other things now, and never managed to come back to work on “me”…
What can I do Morty?
Thank you very much!
Hey, Max… I hear you, man… there IS hope for you!… Keep seeking and you will find… but when you find IT… it won’t be because of your “efforts”… but because of a gift of grace… from outside/inside yourself… I’ve felt what you’ve felt… and am currently in seeking mode… but I’ve made a lot of progress in the past year and a half… and I have every confidence, that you can too!… I believe in you, Max!… Love, Aurelio..
It is not so simple but you can do it! Be kind to yourself. You recognize that you need change and that’s great! Some of us never see this. Start small take baby steps. You CAN. I have come along way dealing with negative emotions and I know how you feel. The fact that you are here is a giant step. I give you so much credit.
Mister Morty Lefkoe, I wish you a very happy birthday. Thank you for all you’ve contributed to people, your work has been very valuable to me.
May you live happily for many more years. I hope you live to see the day when your name is mentioned in the newspapers as the man who changed the world.