Negative emotions like anxiety can be really painful. I know because I felt anxiety and many other negative feelings intensely and frequently for most of my life. My depression seemed to take over my entire mind and body. It seemed to envelope me so completely that I felt as if there were no way to escape it. I also felt as if it would never end. My anxiety and depression was so great in my 20s that I thought about ending my life on many occasions.
Based upon the thousands of communications we’ve received in the past few years (and those we’ve read on several personal growth forums), it appears that many people are overwhelmed by negative feelings.
Although I’ve written about negative emotions several times in the past, see (https://www.mortylefkoe.com/neg-emotions/# and https://www.mortylefkoe.com/live-state-bliss/#), today I want to discuss emotions in a slightly different way in order to help free you from any that may be running your life.
Emotions seem justified
Have you noticed that we usually think our emotions are communicating some information, for example, if we feel afraid to take action, the fear seems to be telling us that taking action is dangerous? If we feel angry at something someone did, the anger seems to be telling us that that person did something to hurt us?
This results in us both wanting to get rid of the emotion because it feels so bad and, at the same time, wanting to hold on to the emotion because it seems we are “right” to feel it given our appraisal of the events. For example, did you ever notice that if you view doing something you’ve never done before as risky, it “makes sense” for you to feel anxiety? It’s almost as if you “should” feel anxious in that situation. If you think someone treated you unfairly, don’t you feel as if you “should” feel angry at them?
You create your feelings
If reality were really causing our emotions, this reaction would make perfect sense. In fact, however, because events have no inherent meaning, events can’t cause us to feel anything. Most feelings are the result of the meaning we attribute to events, not the events themselves.
For example, losing a job has no inherent meaning. It could mean we will never find another job and become destitute. It could mean it will take a lot of time and effort to find a job. It could mean we will find a better job where we will be much happier. It could mean we will change careers and discover we care more about the new career (and job) than we ever did about the old one. What does losing your job really mean? Until you give it a meaning, it has no inherent meaning.
If you give losing your job the meaning that you will never find another good one, you will be incredibly anxious. If you give it the meaning that you can now change careers to do what you always wanted to do and had been afraid to try, you will feel excited and turned on. And if you give the event no meaning at all, you will feel nothing at all.
Therefore, your feelings tell you nothing about yourself, life, reality, the future, etc. Your feelings tell you only one thing: That you have given meaning to an event. No meaning, no feelings.
And if your feelings are the result of the meaning you have given an event, then you create your feelings. And that news is about as good as you can get. Why? Because if you create your feelings, you can get rid of them.
As I’ve explained in detail before, when you distinguish the meaning you give events from the events themselves, the meaning will literally dissolve. And when the meaning dissolves, the emotions it causes will dissolve also. (See a short video that introduces my occurring course that describes in detail how this process works. http://occurringcourse.com. Please ignore the information about the scholarship, as the course isn’t being offered at this time.)
When you master the ability to make that distinction, you will have mastered life. I rarely experience anxiety or any other negative emotion any more. And if I can do it, you can too.
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