Sometimes when a client has a difficult time acknowledging that she has a negative self-esteem belief that I am certain she has, such as I’m not good enough, I ask them a question: “What makes you good enough?”

overcoming feelings of inadequacyBefore continuing, ask and then answer this question for yourself. You’ll see the value of doing so in just a moment …

This is actually a trick question, because if they say anything other than “nothing,” they are acknowledging that they need something to be good enough, which logically means they think they aren’t good enough to begin with.

Once they have told me what makes them good enough, I usually am able to help them get touch with the belief, I’m not good enough.

It can be difficult to acknowledge beliefs

It can be especially difficult for “successful” people to acknowledge that they hold “negative” self-esteem beliefs. Often they feel acknowledging such beliefs is a sign of weakness, so they suppress knowledge of any such beliefs.

The trick question I ask is a way to get people who are not in touch with certain self-esteem beliefs to get in touch with them.

I tell this story because beliefs will run your life whether you are in touch with them or not. Suppressing beliefs will not make them go away nor will it free you from their influence.

What should you do?

What should you do about your limiting beliefs?

First, get in touch with any beliefs you have that could sabotage you, hinder you, hold you back, keep you from having what you want, severely restrict your opportunities, and lead to such debilitating problems as procrastination or an over-concern with what others think of you.

Then, use the Lefkoe Belief Process to unlearn those beliefs.

How beliefs affect the quality of your life

You should notice a significant change in your thinking, your feelings, and your behavior with each belief you unlearn. You also will notice increased opportunities in your life as you eliminate beliefs, because beliefs, by their very nature, limit your possibilities.

If you hold beliefs like, Life is difficult or Relationships don’t work, those beliefs will limit the scope of your life as you live inside those narrow boxes. Unlearning those beliefs literally will open up opportunities that hadn’t existed for you before.

There are few things that will improve the quality of your life as much unlearning the beliefs that sabotage your life. If you haven’t yet eliminated the three most common beliefs people have (I’m not good enough, I’m not important, and Mistakes and failure are bad) on our free belief-elimination site, I urge you to do so right now.

Go to and see the difference in your life when these beliefs are gone. And after these three are gone, use the Lefkoe Belief Process to identify and eliminate any other beliefs that are undercutting the quality of your life.


Thanks for reading my blog. Please share your thoughts about the influence of beliefs on the quality of your life

Disagreement is as welcome as agreement. Your comments add value for thousands of readers. I love to read them all and I will respond to as many as I can

If you want others to improve their lives as you have with the information on my posts, please share this blog post with them by using the buttons located below.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to our interactive online belief-unlearning program where you can unlearn several limiting beliefs free.

You also can find out about Natural Confidence, an interactive digital program that enables you to unlearn 19 of the most common beliefs, which cause some of the most common behavioral and emotional problems that plague us.

Copyright © 2015 Morty Lefkoe


  1. Rose Costas October 16, 2015 at 7:39 am - Reply

    Thanks Morty for such a great piece. I totally agree with you because when I look into my own belief system I found that the areas that I have doubt(negative beliefs) I am never successful in.I also realize when I started to change the way I view things and life things often always seem to turn around for me. Thanks again for confirming how important our beliefs to us progressing.

  2. Neelima October 4, 2015 at 12:44 am - Reply

    Hello Morty, Thank you for this blog. It really got me thinking when my immediate answer to the question was ‘ nothing’ but I didn’t feel good about it. Rather the despair I felt made me complete the sentence and it went something like ‘ nothing I could ever do would make me good enough for whatever I’m expecting in return. I can keep trying to get better and fix myself but I won’t ever get there because I’m really not worthy. I don’t know how or when but I can’t possibly catch up so Nothing I ever do makes me good enough’. There are so many layers of limiting beliefs in this. Where does one start? This is after I’ve been through the three belief unlearning method two or three times plus the Freedom course you sent me. I keep missing Skype coz of the time difference. I’m in India.
    Best wishes

  3. Joseann October 2, 2015 at 6:26 am - Reply

    Very thought provoking process happened, when I searched for the answer to this question: “What makes you good enough?” I came up with: “When I am good enough, they will like me and give me what I need.” So, I will be good enough, when “they like me and give me what I need”. It’s apparently the explanation I gave myself as a child when I experienced that “they” didn’t like me or didn’t give me what I needed.

    That was quite interesting in many ways. It shows how this belief “I am not good enough (yet)” actually gave hope. I could work on becoming good enough and then they would like me. It gave me the illusion that I could actually do something about it. But of course I could also see that I was practically glued to people who either didn’t like me or didn’t give me what I needed or wanted (or at least I perceived them as such) and I was constantly on edge trying to find out how I could become “good enough.” It’s as if I am constantly in “striving mode” for “good-enoughness”. If I dropped that belief, I would just have to acknowledge that “they don’t like me and don’t give me what I need” for whatever reason. Obviously, back then, that was too painful. May be today, I can just accept it and move on. Another consequence of this belief is that it prevented me from blaming others, as I was looking for the mistake in myself, may be not a bad thing.

    It has also large effects when doing business. If I want to get money from customers and I think I have to first “become good enough” for them, I am carrying a burden that is way to heavy. And of course I draw people to myself who don’t like me or don’t give me the money I need, if I have such a belief. Whether they like me or not has nothing to do with whether I am good enough or not. Big relief. Very nice, thank you.

    • ali October 2, 2015 at 11:10 pm - Reply

      i like your explain about your belief , childhood event could make me hungry to have something which i want to feed it now in adult hood.
      Many Thanks

  4. Paul October 2, 2015 at 2:01 am - Reply

    I sent an email about one to one help on Skype a full week ago and never even received the courtesy of a reply, but have had numerous spam emails. I WILL make a story up about that, incompetence and unprofessional

    • morty lefkoe October 2, 2015 at 10:36 am - Reply

      Hi Paul,

      I am so sorry that you did not get a response to your inquiry but I am unable to find it. You didn’t Skype me and no one else has received a Skype message from you.

      If you send an email to me directly I’ll be happy to answer all your questions.


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