My friend said to me: “I don’t believe you. You are in total denial.”
I had been having a conversation with my friend and I had just told him about a “difficult” circumstance in my life that hadn’t upset me. He replied with a bit of righteousness that that circumstance was upsetting and, if I wasn’t upset, I had to be in denial.
Most people can’t grasp “no meaning”
Most people in the world think that events cause us to have specific feelings. Very few people understand, much less have experienced directly, that events have no inherent meaning and thus cannot cause feelings. They aren’t aware that we automatically and unconsciously give meaning to meaningless events and it is that meaning that causes most of our feelings.
As a result when I, or anyone else who is able to dissolve meaning easily and quickly, says that we aren’t upset by an event that most people consider to be upsetting, the only logical possible explanation for them is that we are in denial.
After years of depression, neediness, loneliness, and general unhappiness, I am finally totally at peace with myself and with life. I feel as though it has all turned out. Although I still have things I would like to accomplish (in fact, more than I have time for), there is nothing more that I need to be happy. I am happy, as my friend Marci Shimoff says in her book, “for no reason at all.” (Happy for No Reason)
I still have occasional incidents like the one I wrote about a few weeks ago where I get upset because I can’t immediately find the meaning causing the upset. But I almost always do eventually and I’m able to dissolve the meaning and the feelings stemming from the meaning in a relatively short time.
The purpose of today’s post is to remind you that there is a way to experience life that most people do not think possible—a way that is unimaginable to most people. Actually that way of living is possible for anyone who eliminates the beliefs and conditionings that keep them stuck, and who learns how to dissolve the meanings they give to meaningless events.
Don’t settle for less than is possible for you. Your dreams can come true. In fact, you can have more than you dreamed possible. Please, never, ever give up.
This week’s exercise
Try the following exercise for seven days.
Whenever you think that your circumstances are upsetting you, or your goals are frightening you, or your relationships are annoying you, remind yourself that these circumstances, goals and relationships are not the source of your negative feelings. You are.
As long as you think something outside of you is the source of a problem, your ability to resolve the problem is severely diminished. As soon as you recognize that you are the source of the problem, your ability to resolve the problem is significantly enhanced.
Please comment on this post and write your results from the exercise.
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Copyright ©2012 Morty Lefkoe