Why I’m Re-Posting This Article

I

[Shelly Lefkoe] wrote the following post before my beloved husband passed on Nov. 11, 2015.


Blog photo britt morty 120815It was three o’clock in the morning and Morty awoke with an insight that rocked him to his core.

We were in Costa Rica and I had just done a parenting talk.  He looked at me and said, “You can’t love unconditionally if you judge someone.”
I said, “That’s not true, I love unconditionally and I sometimes judge.”

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “You may love unconditionally, but when you are judging someone the person you love won’t feel unconditionally loved.  So therefore in order to really express unconditional love, there has to be no judgment.”

He went on to tell me about his relationship with Britt and how it changed when he stopped giving meaning to what she did. Morty had always had a fabulous relationship with his kids.  But, when Britt was a teenager, they went through a rocky patch. He would ask her how her day was and she would reply, “Oh my god, you’re so annoying!”  He would walk away feeling hurt and upset, thinking that their relationship had changed and she no longer loved him the way she had when she was younger.

At some point, he realized that her frustration had nothing to do with him. She was a teenager, going through teenage things, and he just needed to love her through it.  One day, she called him a terrible name and stomped off to her room and slammed the door.  Morty went up to the door and said “I hear a teenager who loves her dad and is not in touch with it right now.”  We heard a shoe being thrown at the door and then laughter.  She came out and said, “Oh daddy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I love you so much and I’m sorry I’ve been so terrible to you.”

From that day on their relationship was transformed.  She held his hand when they walked down the street, even when they walked by her high school.  She wasn’t embarrassed.  She just loved being with him.

Before my husband died he called both our daughters in to “complete” with them. Getting “complete” means saying everything you wish to say to a person, making sure there is nothing left unexpressed. Morty and the girls discovered that they were already complete.  Our daughters said that there was never a day of their lives when they didn’t feel unconditionally loved and they never felt judged.  There was nothing that hadn’t been said.

The same was true for me as well.  Morty told me and showed me how much he loved me every day for thirty-five years.

When you get to the end of the journey you realize that your accomplishments are perhaps admirable, but what matters most was that you loved well and were loved well.

Please tell your loved ones that they are cherished and adored.  Show them in special ways.  There was a parable that our minister at the Unitarian Universalist church ended all of his sermons with that I’d like to share now.

He said, “If there is any kind and generous thing that I can do let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I may not pass this way again.”

The most kind and generous thing you can do is to be as loving as you can to all the people in your life. So I urge you to never let an opportunity to express love pass you by. Morty never did .

And thank you for all of the love and kind words you have sent to me and my family.  We are deeply touched and grateful.

Client Success Story
Hey Shelly and Morty,

I wanted to just send a gratitude email and thank God for both of you entering my life.

It was so hard for me to take action and often would only complete a few things on my to do list. I had so much anxiety before beginning the program that I would often have to lay down a few times a day just get to rid of the pain and suffering I was going through.

It was like it was hard to take action on things. I would ultimately have to force myself to do it. I remember being frustrated and crying many times because it seemed like no matter what I tried, it felt like I had to force myself to take action.

As I finished the eighteenth belief today, I looked over at my todo list and it was done. It felt easy to take action and I was in amazement.

Just wanted to say that I had been praying for something that worked. I thank you both for changing my life in a huge way. I am grateful for you both and love you guys.

Thank you for finding this method and giving people hope for a great life. I am excited to help you get this message out there. Also Morty for the first time in my life, I didn’t react and be controlled by food and we are only on the first session.

Thanks so much guys…….

-Justin Burns

By Published On: Tuesday, December 8, 2015Categories: Uncategorized101 CommentsTags: ,

101 Comments

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  2. Lorenzo Rothery December 26, 2017 at 6:17 pm - Reply

    If everyone would love like this, most of the world’s problem could be eliminated. This is such a powerful message of love. Thank you for sharing it and teaching it as well.

  3. Taye Bela Corby December 20, 2017 at 3:50 am - Reply

    Morty is an example of spaciousness of heart. I say ‘is’ because he is still with me.

    I love you Shellis.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:34 am - Reply

      I love you too T. Can’t wait to see you.

  4. Curt December 19, 2017 at 11:25 pm - Reply

    Thank you Shelly. Great message, thank you for sharing. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:36 am - Reply

      Happy Holiday Curt. Thanks for being a part of our tribe.

      Love, Shelly

  5. Sean Blackman December 19, 2017 at 8:52 pm - Reply

    As I get older I realize the more subtle forms of communication are perhaps more impactful than verbal communication. This post speaks to this fact. Not only did it instantly ring true with what I understand about people, but as the father of a house full of teenagers what a great way to approach the people I love instead of just using the catchphrase. You guys never stop giving me more gems with which to enhance my time here and I’m eternally grateful for everything you have collectively added to the world. :-)

  6. Brian December 19, 2017 at 6:57 pm - Reply

    Thanks for the reminder to love un-conditionally. I have 5 daughters, one of which went a different direction than I would have liked. Recently, she posted something that on FB that shook me to the core, and I told my wife how it hurt me so much, that I don;t even fell like visiting her anymore. My wife basically told me the same as your message is telling me. Thanks again.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:47 am - Reply

      Those are the hard times to do it Brian but when you do you always create the possibility for healing.
      Thank you for writing. It means the world to me. Keep loving.

      Happy Holidays.

      Love, Shelly

  7. Juan December 19, 2017 at 6:06 pm - Reply

    I feel what Morty and you Shelly are saying here. Believe it or not you and Morty, along with many other great teachers in my life have played a big role in the flowering of my consciiusness. I’m very grateful to be able to comprehend what pure love is and it aligns with what Morty expressed. See in my experience in life so far love is a quality and when that quality is allowed to express itself through you, that’s when you feel the love. No one ever feels love outside themselves ever, we always feel it inside. Yes it’s mysterious and you can never run out of it. However you can cover it up and make it difficult for this intelligence to flow out of you freely with all kinds of mental BS like judgements, likes or dislikes, disempowering meanings and beliefs and on and on. Something that helps me to remember to be clear in mind and presence in order to allow the quality of love to flow through me as easily as possible is Creative Ignorance (meaning; to not know). When my mind thinks it knows something it comes to a conclusion, a fictitious end and therefore it blocks the flow of love and discovery. In my estimate embracing Creative Ignorance mentally clears my perception which allows me to discover the possibility that is everyone including myself and life. 🙂💛🎄
    Happy Holidays to you and your family Shelly.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:40 am - Reply

      thanks Juan. This is beautiful and I am so grateful that we contributed to your growth.

      If you are the Juan I used to work with I’m sending all of my love and miss you. If you are a different Juan I’m sending love as well.

      Love, Shelly

  8. Robyn Manos December 19, 2017 at 2:44 pm - Reply

    Thank you Shelly! I cried too because with all the holiday activity, you reminded me of the most important thing to do – love (and don’t judge)!

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 19, 2017 at 5:53 pm - Reply

      Thank you my friend. I miss you!

  9. Shaun December 19, 2017 at 12:08 pm - Reply

    The first time i read it i cried…..and i did again….beautiful. Morty is a special spirit….i was lucky our paths crossed…Thanks Shelly for the timely reminder….have a wonderful Christmas…hope you are keeping ok….we do get to spend eternity with our loved ones, which i find the greatest comfort…
    God Bless

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 19, 2017 at 5:54 pm - Reply

      Thanks Shaun. Your comments touched my heart. Thanks for taking the time to write.

      Love, Shelly

  10. Clayton Foor December 19, 2017 at 11:27 am - Reply

    So powerful. So beautiful. Thank you, Shelly.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:40 am - Reply

      Thank you Clayton.

      Wishing you a happy holiday.

      Love, Shelly

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:48 am - Reply

      Thank you Clayton.

      Wishing you a happy holiday season and blessed New Year.

      Love, Shelly

  11. Christine Newman October 14, 2016 at 12:40 pm - Reply

    Just one month ago I randomly came across the Lefkoe Method. Listening to Morty and Shelly’s voices quickly became a reassuring pleasure. Until reading this post, I did not realize Morty had passed. It leaves my speechless and grateful for the lessons he left for us to use. Shelly, it also speaks of the exceptional woman you are for being partners in goodness all these years, and for continuing to carry the torch. This post was especially meaningful to me because I was gifted with young onset Parkinson’s disease and experienced the Identity Loss phenomenon of a retiree. To be honest, I have not been able to shake it off over these past 7 years – until I came across the Lefkoe Method. I am starting to feel like I do matter and I am still relevant with or without my fancy job or my one “normal” body. That is the gift you are still giving.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 19, 2017 at 5:56 pm - Reply

      I am crying as I read this. Thank you for sharing this with me. It means everything. I am deeply inspired.

      Have a happy holiday Christine.

      Love, Shelly

  12. barry April 11, 2016 at 2:08 pm - Reply

    I’ve only just come into contact with Morty’s material and like everyone else I’m blown away with what he left behind. I didn’t know he passed away until I came across this post today. Although a little on the late side, I’m sorry for your loss and it’s a wonderful post you’ve written. All I can say is even after passing he’s making a big difference in my life. Thank you, Morty and Shelly.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 19, 2017 at 5:57 pm - Reply

      Thank you Barry. I am so grateful for your comment. It makes my heart sing.

      Have a happy Holiday.

      With love and gratitude.

      Shelly

  13. Mike January 11, 2016 at 9:41 pm - Reply

    Shelly, My heart goes out to you! I am glad that Morty expressed his unconditional love for you and your family. What a wonderful gift to be left with. My Dad passed away in October, and the hole that is left is enormous, but the gift of us love for my mom and I sustains us through the the emptiness we feel in our healing. Dad was my dad for 62 years and my mother’s husband for 65 years. What a gift to have a person “commit” to loving you, and loving you well, for a lifetime. I wish you well in your coming year and pray that you feel that love from Morty and that, although you feel the loss, you also relish the gift of a life well lived and shared with you in “unconditional love!!” Be Well!

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:43 am - Reply

      Thank you Mike. I’m so sorry about the loss of your dad. May his memory always fill you with joy.

      What a wonderful sentiment this is. I am grateful.

      Wishing you a happy holiday season and wonderful year ahead.

  14. Liane December 19, 2015 at 10:04 pm - Reply

    Thank you for sharing that story Shelly. I would so love it if you kept this blog going. I’m sure you have a ton of insights to share with us.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:44 am - Reply

      Thanks Liane. I so appreciate your comments. It inspires to write more.

      Wishing you the best holiday every and a happy new year.

      Love, Shelly

  15. Danii December 17, 2015 at 3:25 am - Reply

    This is beautiful Shelly. Thank you for making me see my own judgmental behaviors that occasionally pop up. Morty is an amazing soul Truly sorry for your loss, much love to you and your family.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:49 am - Reply

      Thank you Danil. I was blessed indeed. I read something recently. To be totally present with another human being is get our of our judgmental minds. I loved that.

      Happy Holidays.

      Love, Shelly

  16. Dean December 13, 2015 at 4:33 pm - Reply

    That is so wonderful Shelly! I will share that quote from your minister with others and use it myself to ensure my love will move toward unconditional in every way I can. Thank you and bless you!

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:45 am - Reply

      Thanks Dean. That makes my heart sing.

      Happy holiday and have a wonderful year ahead.

      Love, Shelly

  17. Leon December 13, 2015 at 9:20 am - Reply

    Wonderful insight and so true. Made me stop and think of my own behaviour – how I judge yet profess love. Tainted love when mixed with judgement. Thank you for sharing.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:50 am - Reply

      Thanks Leon. I’m so inspired by what you wrote.

      Happy Holidays.

      Love, Shelly

  18. Mercury December 12, 2015 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    I truly believe the only true unconditional love that exists is the love a parent feels for their children. I have never loved anyone the way that I love my daughter, and I’m convinced that this must be what real, unconditional love is. I thought I loved girlfriends in my past, but that was nothing compared to this.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:52 am - Reply

      Hi Mercury,

      Yes I agree that loving a child or grandchild is unconditional love but I believe you can love others that way as well by creating it.

      Happy Holidays

      Love, Shelly

  19. Brian December 12, 2015 at 6:03 am - Reply

    I can’t put my thoughts into words. Morty, Shelly and Brittney all had a profound impact on my life, and I think for generations to come. I only wish I could have learned the LBP earlier in life, when my oldest kids were little – then I wouldn’t have passed on so many limiting beliefs to them. At least the younger 1/2 of my family are getting a better start in life. Thanks Shelly and Brittney.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 6:02 am - Reply

      Thank you Brian. I am so grateful that you did find us. Remember your other kids can always have sessions!
      I am so grateful that you are part of our tribe.

      Hava a Happy Holidays and a wonderful year ahead.

      Love, Shelly

  20. Raymond Iti December 11, 2015 at 4:29 pm - Reply

    bless morty and all of you and may his work continue.i have trouble with one of my sons who will only say hello or goodbye to me and nothing else.He doesnt like me much and i dont know why.Hes 25 yrs old now,Maybe this is the reason.i will endeavour to not judge my wife and children .i love them so much as well.merry christmas to you all.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:59 am - Reply

      Oh Raymond, this is very sad. Why don’t you take him to lunch or dinner and talk to him. Just listen and “get it” Then tell him it was never your intention to hurt him if that is the case and you’d like to rebuild your relationship.

      Happy holidays.

      Love, Shelly

  21. Hanneke December 11, 2015 at 3:23 am - Reply

    This made me cry… Thank you for sharing this great example of your family’s love…

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 5:59 am - Reply

      Thank you Hanneke. I’m grateful that you’re part of our tribe.

      Happy Holidays.

      Love, Shelly

  22. Molly Byock December 10, 2015 at 9:02 pm - Reply

    Wow! He truly was a wise man! I find the most inspiring people are those that actually walk their talk. Morty demonstrated integrity as he lived what he was teaching!

    I love you Shelly!

    Molly

  23. Chuck December 10, 2015 at 9:00 pm - Reply

    Not easy to do but I’ll work on it. Also there’s the fear of being judged and then not being accepted or being treated differently afterwards. I’m glad that you’re family had this unconditional love, you were blessed.

  24. Gracie December 10, 2015 at 8:51 pm - Reply

    Love you so much, Shelly <3 That is such a sweet story, and I'm so glad you shared it. My dad passed just about a month before Morty. Part of what I said at his memorial was that he told me once how I always got a clean slate from him. I did stuff that pissed him off, and he always wiped it clean. He did share with me that he didn't always do that for others.

    And I was blessed to be as complete with my folks as I could be. I saw my dad for the last time, about a month before he left. He spent a good five minutes telling my aunt how he could feel the love for him in everything I did (he'd ask for a glass of water, or whatever). Made me blush and be verklempt. He prepared me for his death, which he believed was a good fatherly thing to do. We talked about death often, and occasionally talked about his death. He talked me through my mama's death, and his mama's. I know we were complete because of how I was after. (well, and of course you, you helped SO much)

    I am so blessed to have passed under the flow of Morty's unconditional love. I continue to be blessed by his work, and imagine I will continue so until my end. I'm unendingly grateful I get to continue to be loved by you. :D

    And when I remember, I'm cheered by how much you both have healed the world. <3

  25. Anne Stanley December 10, 2015 at 6:38 pm - Reply

    Dear Shelly,
    Sincerest condolences to you and yours for your loss. We are all the poorer for Morty’s departure, but we are definitely the richer for the work that you have both shared with us all. Your post, to me, is simply the number one recommendation for turning ones life around, and along with it, mankind in general. What a tribute to Morty’s memory that would be. Blessings to you all.

  26. CShaw December 10, 2015 at 6:30 pm - Reply

    Shelly, this was so lovely and so fitting for this season. I’m so sorry for your loss, but what a profound blessing not to have any unfinished business of the heart. Looks like Morty passed on an auspicious day (11-11) which to me seems like divine timing for him to serve his family and all the 1000s of people he touched from a higher place. Gob bless you and your family!!

    • CShaw December 10, 2015 at 6:32 pm - Reply

      Oops – that was God bless…forgive the typo. :)

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 6:03 am - Reply

      Thanks C. I so appreciate your thoughts.

      Happy Holidays and have a wonderful year ahead.

      Love, Shelly

  27. Shaun OBrien December 10, 2015 at 3:38 pm - Reply

    Well said Dennis…..we may get a form to fill in at those pearly gates…tick the boxes

    Did we live. Did we love unconditionally… Did we make a difference…

    Morty will tick all those boxes and as a result more peeps will tick all the boxes..
    a great legacy indeed.

    Thanks for sharing Shelley…..A message worth sending around the globe in thse troubled
    times ….God Bless Morty

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 6:05 am - Reply

      Wow Shaun. You really moved me to tears. So beautifully said.

      Happy Holidays and have a blessed new year.

      Love, Shelly

  28. Jason Linder December 10, 2015 at 2:41 pm - Reply

    I enjoyed this article. Thanks Shelly. Love Jason

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 6:04 am - Reply

      Thanks Jase. It’s always so good to hear from you.

      Happy Holidays to you and Claudia.

      Love, Shelly

  29. Alan December 10, 2015 at 11:41 am - Reply

    Morty left the world a better place. There is no higher calling.

  30. Tracey myers December 10, 2015 at 11:23 am - Reply

    Beautifully written, what a wonderful message and so many concepts to internalize and manifest. I will be rereading it again and again to create a stronger path for a meaningful life, without meaning😀.

    I’m so sorry for your family’s loss, and also appreciate the view into beautiful life, family and love you’re sharing with the world.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 6:06 am - Reply

      Hi Tracey,

      It’s so awesome to hear from you. I think of you often.

      Thank you for what you wrote. So beautiful.

      Wishing you a happy holiday and the best year ever.

      I love you,
      Shelly

  31. Tanja Dehne December 10, 2015 at 9:01 am - Reply

    This is really beautiful Shelley. Thank you so much for sharing.

  32. Jeff Wolf December 10, 2015 at 8:43 am - Reply

    WOW!………Morty, still teaching and giving. I’m grateful for you.

  33. Jesse Adams December 10, 2015 at 8:32 am - Reply

    Hi Shelly, I discovered Morty’s work a few years ago via the Steve Pavlina website. I signed up for Morty’s newsletter, and have continued to receive & read it. There is great value in the work which you and Morty have brought to the world. Your words in this post are very helpful as I am currently experiencing a difficult situation at work. Thank you for sharing your heart with us during this difficult time. You are loved – unconditionally!

  34. Sandra Velasquez December 10, 2015 at 8:10 am - Reply

    Thank you Shelly, this is something wonderful, to be aware of how you really are loving unconditionally without judgments.

  35. Yael Shimoni December 10, 2015 at 7:50 am - Reply

    Thank you so much for this post Shelly. It is very beautiful, heart-warming and wise. I wish so much that I had had some kind of contact with Morty, and at the same time the recent Lefkoe Belief Process class was so infused with him that it was almost like contact. Something that strikes me about yours and Morty’s work is the beautiful harmony and interchangeability in it and how it spans a person’s whole life and several roles in life. It seems that your “signature” work has been with parenting. I haven’t taken your course because I am unfortunately not a parent, but I guess it deals with changing how parents interact with children so that negative beliefs do not get formed in children’s minds. It seems that Morty’s “signature” work with the belief process is teaching us how to erase negative beliefs in our adult minds, beliefs mostly formed in childhood. It usually involves visiting our childhood again.Your post is a shining example of what loving connection can happen in a family infused by both the parenting and self-belief work and unconditional love. There’s no dysfunction, no baggage. It’s wonderful to behold. Thank you.

  36. Terence Cole December 10, 2015 at 7:26 am - Reply

    Excellent post! It really resonates with me and has me thinking about how I can do that more in my own life.

  37. steven December 10, 2015 at 7:18 am - Reply

    Thanks for your post. It is wonderful. I would just like to add something though… hope it is taken in the spirit of love.

    It is not that people haven’t figured out that the goal is to be happy and unconditionally loving. Great … we all know that.

    It turns out that the method to do that is actually to be angry, miserable, and sad if that is true for you. It’s called being real.

    If you can accept your own miserableness …it turns into love.

    The method and the goal are different.

  38. Linda December 10, 2015 at 7:01 am - Reply

    Thank you, Shelly. May you and your family be well. Morty gave us all unconditional love. He leaves a legacy of love. He taught us how to dissolve beliefs and so much more. He leaves a treasure trove of teaching. He changed my life and I will be forever grateful. Blessings.

  39. Marilyn Haverly December 10, 2015 at 6:59 am - Reply

    Thank you for writing such beautiful and helpful thoughts. This is a wonderful tribute to your husband who has helped so many. For me this is particularly timely partly because I’m aware that judgement is strong when I perceive my needs are unmet which is a common situation when family is visiting! Here come the holidays!

    I love the times I’m free of judgement–towards myself and others–and I intend to let go of 60 years of conditioning and be in that wonderful free state as much as I can!!!

    May you be blessed beyond measure!

  40. Elisabeth December 10, 2015 at 6:41 am - Reply

    Thank you, Shelly. This is beautiful &, fir me, timely.
    Namaste

  41. Suzan December 10, 2015 at 6:31 am - Reply

    What a Blessing. Thank you for your post. I need this. Much appreciation and love.

  42. Lesley December 10, 2015 at 6:29 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing that, as always it was so timely. You have my deepest sympathy for your loss and my gratitude for all you both shared with us and still share. We are in the teenage years and my daughter (an advanced 12) told me yesterday she wasn’t sure about holding her dad’s hand when her peers could see. I explained I never stopped holding my mum or dad’s hand, it was our business no one else’s. When we moved to Suffolk (UK) people thought our family must be foreign ‘cos we all linked arms or held hands all the time.

    Morty’s insight made me cry in recognition. Though I know my mum loves me, she is such a judgemental person that I have never felt it was unconditional love no matter how slushy the cards she sends on my birthday. I will work on how I love, to make sure that doesn’t pass on to my kids. I am not my mother and there’s still time (I hope) to heal that relationship too.

    Finally, it tickled me to see the quote from your minister. I was raised a Unitarian and there do not seem to be many of us about so that was just like a hug from the universe seeing that today. Thank you. Much love from Lesley x

  43. steve December 10, 2015 at 6:24 am - Reply

    Beautiful Shelley. So sorry for your loss. You and Morty are such an inspiration to so many people and you two are loved unconditionally! May you and your daughters carry on and know that you are being loved unconditionally still by Morty.

  44. ina December 10, 2015 at 6:21 am - Reply

    Dear Shelly,
    This was so wonderful insight! Thank you for sharing. I am a mom 3 kids and one of them just has reached teenage level, so reading this article made me recognize that I am judjing him and a lot. The same was when I was a kid, I never felt unconditionally loved and it has been instolled in my mind and in my heart so I even did not realized that I am doing the same I have experienced during childhood – judging….I want to be the best parent I can become. I am so grateful that found this article today, thank you, and blessings to all the community. I recently found this place and I am happy to grow and to know that there are a lot of like minded people….:-)

  45. Dae December 10, 2015 at 6:00 am - Reply

    The strangest thing happened to me this morning. Morty popped into my head briefly, then all of a sudden I opened my email, and here this is! Thank you, Morty for always being able to put a big smile on my face! Even after your passing, you’re still bringing encouragement and insight to all of us that love you!

  46. Colleen December 10, 2015 at 5:49 am - Reply

    I am sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing man. I just happened upon your website and have learned a lot so far. Much thanks.

  47. bluemax December 10, 2015 at 5:46 am - Reply

    Hi,Shelly,having Morty as a part of your life is truly a great Blessing. Morty has helped in transforming & changing the lives of so many people for the better. He has left a great legacy & he will always live in the hearts of people who have had the privilege of knowing Him. Wishing You & Your Love One’s all the Best

  48. Lorraine Hackman December 10, 2015 at 5:38 am - Reply

    Thank you, Shelly. Wonderful insight.

  49. Dennis Deridder December 10, 2015 at 5:13 am - Reply

    Hi Shelly,

    I love what Morty has brought into this world. For me he was a great teacher who taught us the consequence of meaning. Who showed us a way to be free to love unconditionally, and who gave a tool for our brain to dissolve suffering before it occurred.
    I have come to know Morty’s work on a ‘Know That You Are Loved” workshop in England. It was offered as an extra treat, added at the end of that workshop. The impact remained with me for years. Many years after that I started to look for more about this method, bought some things from your store, got his book, followed an on-line course, using it for myself and implemented it into my work in Belgium as a transformation-coach.

    For me his insight is so true. Any judgment is a reason for not loving completely. Any judgment is a condition that needs to be solved in order to love that person. And therefore one can not love unconditionally when one judge someone. Even-though we can have the idea we love someone unconditionally, when he or she starts to behave or talk as that other person we have a judgment against, what will happen with that love?

    And to take it a level deeper, judging someone for not loving unconditionally is in itself also a judgment that will keep one away of unconditionally loving the one who is judging. So it is true that a person who we judge, will not feel loved in that moment and a bit thereafter. But that doesn’t mean we are not able to love unconditionally. It is our freedom to keep or release the judgment. Before, during and after there will be love because love in itself is unconditional. We as humans can choose to express it where, when, why, with whom and how long. This should make it clear that love in itself is unconditional, but we as a human have a mind to make a distinction and we are free to do so. And therefore we can be an expression of anything. And whatever it is we express, it will never ever make love anything else then unconditional.

    And, when we dissolve a meaning, let go of that judgment, release all assumptions and the source of assumption, and allow things as they are, we can not help but to be an expression of unconditional love. And this appear as a silence that will set all free to be, do, have, think and say anything regardless and despite.

    Thanks for asking Shelly,
    With Love from Belgium

  50. Richard December 10, 2015 at 4:59 am - Reply

    Thank you Shelly.

  51. Marko December 10, 2015 at 4:35 am - Reply

    What a wonderful post. As the tears roll down my face, I just want to say Thank you, Thank you, Thank you…

  52. Nicholas Godwin December 10, 2015 at 4:29 am - Reply

    Thanks Shelly for sharing. Yes, unconditional love can’t be fully expressed if I judge the person I’m loving unconditionally…

  53. Alberta Nye December 10, 2015 at 3:55 am - Reply

    Just what I needed today. You have made a difference in my life on this day and I thank you so much.

    Alberta

  54. Finola December 10, 2015 at 3:47 am - Reply

    Shelly, I cried when I read your post.

    The route to freedom and happiness lies in unconditional love but I certainly find it difficult sometimes to let go of all the baggage and nonsense I carry from childhood. The Lefcoe method really does allow us to let unconditional love reign if we utilise it to free ourselves.

    My best wishes to you and your family.

    Finola

  55. Elsa December 10, 2015 at 3:24 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing your experience of love. It warms and softens my heart to hear it.

  56. Kevin December 10, 2015 at 3:23 am - Reply

    I tell my wife and children every day that I love them and we hug all of the time regardless of who we are with or where we are. I’m slowly convincing myself that I love ME as well. It’s been a long hard struggle, but with Morty’s course and a lot of soul searching, it’s slowly coming together.

  57. Liz December 10, 2015 at 3:20 am - Reply

    What a lovely article, it brought tears to my eyes. I agree, expressing unconditional love at all times is the only way to be. We are all precious and every opportunity that we have should be used to share love with each other. Thank you for sharing this with us all 😍 xx

  58. Rachel December 10, 2015 at 3:10 am - Reply

    Dearest Shelly, thank you so much for sharing this! The message is so incredibly timely. Right now, this week, I’m on the cusp of a shift that is going to be a massive turning point, possibly the most important one of my life. I’m getting messages, in various forms, that it’s time to completely ‘let go’ of the family that I belong to. Without exception, all the family members that were in my life as I was growing up (grandmothers – at a distance, parents, siblings) were/are so profoundly damaged that they have been totally unable to love unconditionally. They judge so readily, so harshly, so meanly, so coldly and so unfairly (especially with me as I’ve always been odd one out) that I have never felt loved by any of them and it’s still true now I’m in my 40s. This experience has been so toxic that I’ve struggled for much of my life with health problems and these seem to be coming to a head now. This message helps me to see that these people are ALWAYS going to judge, I will therefore NEVER feel loved by them and they will always be a toxic influence in my life WHILE EVER I HAVE EVEN THE FAINTEST NEED TO FEEL LOVED BY THEM. This realisation is absolutely key to me shifting my energy away from them totally, getting their energy out of my heart and thus making space for other people who do make me feel loved, valued and appreciated – unconditionally. It also clearly highlights the needs of my husband, stepson and nieces to be loved unconditionally by me. I must never pass on this dreadful family tradition!! Thank you again Shelly and Morty, this is life-changing stuff! I send you and your family lots of love. Morty changed my life through his belief busting programme, I sent up thanks directly when I heard that he had passed. I’ll be forever grateful! Xxx

  59. Jane December 10, 2015 at 3:05 am - Reply

    Thanks Shelly, it brought tears to my eyes. I do my best to live this way. You and Morty were lucky to have one another. My mom and dad had a similar relationship and my mom’s in your position now, missing her best friend. God be with you.
    I decided at a point in my life that my point of life was going to be to deactivate all my ‘red buttons’. My judgement means resistance of reality to me and that I still have red buttons. When I’m fully accepting the present moment every moment, I’ll have succeeded. That’s not likely to happen during my life on this planet, but I can feel that the process of deactivating these buttons makes it easier and easier for me to love unconditionally.

  60. Erin December 10, 2015 at 2:58 am - Reply

    Thank you for this eloquent and beautifully touching post Shelly ❤️ I’m saving this to re read when I need it (often!) and that photo is so beautiful you can literally feel the love!!

  61. Alex December 10, 2015 at 2:54 am - Reply

    Morty and your family are an example for me on how to live and evidence, that loving and caring people still live among us.
    God bless him. My mother is on cancer treatment and I still have problems to express unconditional love to her.

  62. Ulisses December 10, 2015 at 2:40 am - Reply

    Hello Shelly. Thank you for sharing this text and this insight. It helped me to think of somethings differently. Thank you so much. God bless you and your family, and may have Morty under His unconditional Love right now. Thanks again.

  63. Danielle in Paris December 10, 2015 at 2:08 am - Reply

    Thanks Shelly to share with us

    So true …! and so far of what I learned in my family. Love was present in all hearts, but not direct expression of the feelings, and therefore no possibility of completion. I’m so sad to realize how much love interactions was lost by mistake

    Shelly, please continue to share Morty’s work and your own work.
    It’s so precious to read it and remember wisdom everytime

    Love to all of you
    Danielle in Paris

  64. Shankar December 10, 2015 at 1:52 am - Reply

    We all know this theoretically. But, unless we go above a certain spiritual level, we cannot understand why we need to be non-judgmental. I got this in a flash when I did The Forum(EST) in my early Forties.

  65. thierry December 10, 2015 at 1:47 am - Reply

    This is a wonderfull and so important post Shelly. I’ll really use it with my kids as they start to hit teenage…
    I email you also separately about something Morty agreed to do for the honesty campaign.
    Thank you!
    Thierry
    http://www.OnTheRoadToHonesty.com for kids campaign

  66. Almitra December 10, 2015 at 1:44 am - Reply

    This is so uplifting. Thank you. And, thank you for your work creating Parenting the Lefkoe Way. It’s been such a blessing to my family.

  67. EBA December 10, 2015 at 1:37 am - Reply

    I bust into tears while reading this post. Love is the most important thing in our lives, yet very often we forget, forget how to love and how to express love.

    Thank you for sharing this, and for showing us how to love!

  68. Bryan and Lynne December 10, 2015 at 1:34 am - Reply

    And you’ve just demonstrated in that beautiful, and deeply touching,message that the essence of Morty can never die, and nor will we. Amen

  69. Hugh December 10, 2015 at 1:33 am - Reply

    Thanks for that Shelly, for my own reasons I needed that.

    Thanks Morty.

    Love Hugh.

  70. Jana December 10, 2015 at 1:29 am - Reply

    Thank you for this post. I have coppied this into my desktop folder called “gifts”- for me to revisit, for my daughter and for other people who can be inspired by this information. Thank you!

  71. marie-anne December 10, 2015 at 1:26 am - Reply

    Dear Shelly,

    Please remember, with every fibre of your soul, that true love never dies – it just transcends to another level
    when one person leaves this dimension. Don’t ever forget that Morty will be waiting for you with open arms and oceans of love when your time comes, to shower you with all the warmth you missed out on during his earthly absence – you will then experience the true meaning of celestial fusion of two beings in another wonderful world.

    Marie-Anne

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 6:13 am - Reply

      Thanks Marie-Anne,

      Beautiful; sentiment. Thank you taking the time to share. I am grateful.

      Happy healthy holidays.

      love, Shelly

  72. Dennis December 10, 2015 at 1:16 am - Reply

    I agree 100% on the divine insight that judgment will get in the way of unconditional love. Saying “I love you unconditionally” can have no ifs or buts associated with it. In fact I think judgment is the primary blockade preventing a lot of people from getting help or connecting in a meaningful way.
    That picture at the top is absolutely glorious btw! That love x 1000 is what Morty must be experiencing in heaven right now, I’m convinced of that.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 6:08 am - Reply

      Thank Dennis. I am grateful for your thoughts.

      Happy Holidays.

      With love,
      Shelly

  73. Gary Alfred December 10, 2015 at 1:08 am - Reply

    This is beautiful.

    • Shelly Lefkoe December 21, 2017 at 6:07 am - Reply

      Hey Gary,

      So great to hear from you!

      Wishing you a happy and healthy new year. Would love to hear how you are!

      Love, Shelly

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