Before you conclude that something that you didn’t want to have happened actually happened and now there’s nothing you can do about it, hold on for a moment because maybe it didn’t really happen.
This statement might seem confusing so let me give you a few personal example. I promise it will be crystal clear by the time the post is over.
I thought I saw that the flight had departed
I was changing planes at an airport not too long ago and my first flight arrived late. As I ran to the gate for the connecting flight, I saw on the sign that lists departing flights that my flight had departed. I stopped running and walked to the gate, assuming they would put me on the next available flight. When I arrived five or six minutes later, the plane was still there and I got on the flight. The information about my flight on the directory had been wrong.
What had seemed to be a clear statement of reality (the flight had departed without me) was not true.
It’s amazing what a good relationship can do
On another occasion Shelly and I were flying together. This was several years ago, before the airlines started charging extra for the exit rows with more legroom. We always asked the gate agent when we arrived if there were two seats in the exit row. Sometimes we got them; sometimes we didn’t. On this particular occasion the agent told us that there were no exit row seats available. We continued to talk to the agent, creating a nice relationship with her. After two or three minutes she said to us: “Wait a minute,” and she went back to her computer. A minute later she announced: “ I moved someone and gave you two seats together in the exit row.”
What had seemed to be a clear statement of reality (that there weren’t two seats together in the exit row) was not true.
Not long ago I as I started my day, I looked at a report that is supposed to contain a list of all the mailings that we had sent out during the prior week. One mailing that should have gone out was not on it. Obviously, the mailing in question had not gone out. I called Rodney to find out what had happened to that mailing. He told me that it had, in fact, gone out, but that it had not been sent the way we usually send emails to our list, so it didn’t show up in the list of mailings that I had looked at.
What had seemed to be a clear statement of reality (a mailing that should have gone out had not been mailed) was not true.
Bloggers were not responding to my invitation
The most recent example of reality not really being reality involves the podcast series I have been running, “Conversations With Top Personal Development Bloggers.” Each week I interview a top personal development blogger, some of whom have more readers than the authors of New York Times Best-selling books. After interviewing ten I realized I needed a bunch more to interview. So I sent out ten invitations to bloggers asking if they were willing to be interviewed for my podcast. I only got one response. A couple of weeks later I sent out another ten. Again, only one response. I was careful not to give this any meaning, but I noticed, as a fact in reality, that only 10% of the people I had written to had responded. Yesterday I was searching my mail program for some old emails and discovered that I had 13 bloggers acceptances that I had not seen because they had gone directly into my Podcast folder, and not into my in box.
What had seemed to be a clear statement of reality (I’m getting a 10% acceptance rate) was not true.
I have many other similar stories and I’m sure if you think about it, you do too.
What I meant should be clear now
Here’s my point. I no longer assume that what seems like reality after I dissolve any meaning I’ve attributed to it is as solid as it looks.
So before you conclude that something that you didn’t want to have happened actually happened and now there’s nothing you can do about it, hold on for a moment because maybe it didn’t really happen.
That sentence makes total sense now, doesn’t it?
A PERSONAL NOTE TO MY READERS:
Not much has happened regarding my health since my last update. Here are a few items.
My CEA (a blood test that indicates the extent of live colon cancer cells) had fallen from a high of 79 to 3.4 (below 5 is normal) when I last reported it to you. Since then that blood measure fell to 2.2 and last week to 0.8.
In June I had a CT scan. The picture of my colon was not clear and the radiologist couldn’t tell what had happened to the two tumors that he had seen on my previous CT scan a few months ago. He could see the liver clearly and it showed a 4 cm mass, reduced from the original 10+ cm.
Jennifer Lucas, my oncologist, said that the “mass” was most likely scar tissue that remains after live cancer cells are killed. The way she will know for sure is to do another CT scan early in September. If the size of the mass is exactly the same as it was last month, we’ll know for sure it is only scar tissue. We’ll also be able to see the colon.
As far as I’m concerned, I’m healed. My intuitive voice tells me there are hardly any live cancer cells left in my body and I am in “remission.” Obviously Dr. Lucas is not as certain as I am and wants me to continue to get my CEA measured every two weeks for a while and wants to see another CT scan in a couple of months.
I cannot thank you enough for the hundreds of messages of love and support. And I know that many of you who haven’t written have been sending me love and support also.
Thanks for loving me. I love you too.
Thanks for reading my blog. Please post your questions or comments about reality not being as clear-cut as it seems. Disagreement is as welcome as agreement. Your comments add value for thousands of readers. I love to read them all and I will respond to as many as I can.
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Copyright © 2014 Morty Lefkoe