How To Use Life’s Little Annoyances To Build Big Mental Muscles
This article was originally written in 2020 and is being reposted today. In 1912, Olympic athlete Jim Thorpe was seen digging through the garbage hours before his event began. That morning, he discovered his shoes were stolen. Thorpe scrambled to find another pair. Fortunately, he found two shoes in a trash can. One was a few sizes too big, so he wore extra socks to keep the shoe from falling off. He competed in the pentathlon (5 events) and decathlon (10 events) and beat every athlete despite this hardship. Thorpe didn't improvise his way through that decathlon. Years of [...]
The Belief Saboteurs: Why Your Negative Emotions Come Back Even After You ‘Work On Yourself’
I'll never forget the day I became truly free. I was working on myself—again. I'd been doing personal development work for years at that point. I'd read the books, done the workshops, worked with therapists and coaches. I knew all the things. I could recite the mantras. I understood that other people's opinions shouldn't matter. But they still did. And then one day, I eliminated the belief: "What makes me good enough is having other people think well of me." I call it my Martin Luther King Jr. moment because I was free at last. I was free to [...]
Why You Keep Hitting the Same Wall (And What’s Really Hiding Beneath It)
You've tried everything. You've read the books. Done the affirmations. Made the plans. Maybe even hired a coach or therapist. And yet somehow, you're still stuck in the same patterns. You still avoid the opportunities that scare you. You still procrastinate on the things that matter most. You still feel that familiar tightness in your chest when certain situations come up. Here's what most people don't realize: you're not failing. You're just working on the wrong part of the problem. The Iceberg You Can't See Think of an iceberg floating in the ocean. What you see above the water—the tip—is [...]
Why we struggle to live in the present (and how to reverse this trend)
“Remember then: there is only one time that is important – Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time over which we have any power.” – Leo Tolstoy To stay connected with my daughters, who live far from me, I send Blake and Britt a mindfulness card that I pick from a deck. This one was awesome: If you’re depressed, you’re living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you’re at peace, you’re living in the present. Being in the present means being with who or what is in [...]
Why We Become Deeply Unhappy: The Overlooked Influence Of Survival Strategies
One morning, a little girl playing in a park threw a gum wrapper into a garbage can. She squealed with delight, then went in search of more garbage to throw away. Other passersby did the same. Soon, hundreds of people were looking for trash to throw into the can. Were these especially conscientious citizens? Or was something else going on? A group called "Fun Theory" had inserted a speaker into the trash can, making it sound like the garbage was falling a long way. As a result, pedestrians looked for random bits of garbage to drop into the receptacle [...]
The Self Belief Question: How It Helps Us Find Beliefs We Suppress
How do you get a group of shoppers to pay $600 for $35 shoes? In 2018, several Instagram influencers were invited to a Santa Monica pop-up boutique created by Italian designer Bruno Palessi. Inside, the surroundings were luxurious and the shoes were showcased elegantly on glass backlit displays. One of the influencers after trying on some shoes said “I would pay $400, $500. People are going to be like, ‘Where did you get those? Those are amazing.’ ” Little did she know that there was no designer called Palessi. And the shoes she was trying on would cost a [...]
Why Getting Hooked By Words Can Ruin Your Day (And How To Reverse The Damage)
On Route 66 in the US, drivers routinely drive at 60-70 miles per hour. But on one lonely stretch in New Mexico, they regularly slow down to 45 even though no one is looking. A sign informs drivers that they can turn their cars into musical instruments if they slow down to the recommended speed on a specific stretch of road. Special rumble strips have been placed to cause a vehicle's tires to make the song America The Beautiful, but only when a car drives at exactly 45 miles per hour. Many drivers slow down at that point because they [...]
Why some get grumpy as they age … and a solution
I have often wondered why people get grumpy as they age and, more importantly, how to help those who have become grumpy regain their happiness. I found the answer to both questions and I'll share them with you today. Shelly and her father Here's how I began my search. The Grumpiness Of My Dad And His Buddies Before my parents passed away, I used to go to Florida to visit them. I always enjoyed seeing my dad who was a very loving man for most of my life. As he got older, I noticed that my [...]
Why We’re Sometimes Over-motivated (The Danger Of Survival Strategies)
On average in the US every year ... Fifty people are struck by lightning. Sixty people are injured by hurricanes. But how many have been hit by a falling meteor? In all of history, just one. Her name is Moody Jacobs and on a clear afternoon in 1954, a softball-sized chunk of black rock punched a hole in her ceiling, ricocheted off a radio, and hit her in the thigh. She survived the strike with only a large bruise. A meteor's trajectory is influenced by our planet's gravity which grabs the rock from space and pulls it down to earth. [...]
