Valentine’s Day was once an occasion that produced lots of joy in my life.

Morty and I before our Valentine’s Day party.

Every year, I held a lavish Valentine’s Day party. I would decorate the house, bake 15 beautiful desserts (I had to tell all my non-sugar eating friends that this was their time to splurge). Cosmo’s and wine were served. Heart-shaped candles filled the room and flowers were everywhere. And I had the best Valentine on earth, my beloved Morty. We had this party every year for 15 years. People flew in from LA, and Denver to attend. My party was “the” Valentine’s party according to all my friends.

But despite all the fun, I stopped having Valentine’s parties in 2016.

Why? On Oct 14th, 2015 my husband, Morty, died.  I had lost the love of my life. So when February came around the next year, I was no longer looking forward to Valentine’s Day. In fact, I began to dread it. The thought of having the party without Morty hadn’t even crossed my mind. Why would I? I didn’t have a valentine with whom to celebrate.

This week, I realized it was that dreaded time again.

But this time I chose to do something different about these thoughts and feelings. I had been thinking that since Morty was gone I couldn’t celebrate love. I decided to dissolve that thought using the Occurring Process.

After the meaning dissolved, I became grateful for all the love in my life.

The love that I shared with Morty for 35 years. The love of my daughters and grandson. The love that I feel for my women’s group and for all of my friends. The love that I feel and receive from my wonderful clients. The love that I feel for Rodney and Amy (my staff). The love of my two best friends of 53 years. The love of my brother, my nieces and nephews. And the love I receive from those of you who let me know how much our work has helped your lives.

Since I dissolved the meaning that I can’t celebrate love without Morty, my feelings towards Valentine’s Day have changed. The dread is gone. Instead, I feel blessed. Dissolving meaning allowed me to feel gratitude and shifted my perception by 180 degrees.

I may even send myself some roses this year.

Happy Valentine’s Day! I wish you love.


P.S. You can read more about how to dissolve occurrings (meanings we make in the moment) by reading this article: