Sometimes, I get out of bed and just miss my husband.
Or I wake up thinking, “Will I ever have a relationship again?”
At other times, it’s “Oh no, I still have the 10 pandemic pounds to lose.”

But then I sit down for my first session.

My client’s face shows up on screen and I’m filled with a joy and aliveness that fills every cell in my body. After eliminating beliefs that have caused them pain their whole lives, I see my client’s face light up. She feels excited about the possibilities she now sees. This has filled me with awe for the past 30 years.

What turns me on is the fact that I’m making a contribution to another human being.

I believe, deep down inside, that everyone wants to make a meaningful contribution to others.

Close your eyes and think of a time when you made a difference in someone’s life. Really imagine it happening. How did you feel? Most people tell me that it feels satisfying in a profound way.

We spend so much of our time thinking that happiness will come when we graduate college, get that high-paying job, meet “the one,” or finally are able to retire. My experience of working with people is that this is rarely true. We might feel good for a few minutes or even a week, but eventually, the unhappiness returns, and we need another shot of “get what I want” juice to find the next hit of joy. When you contribute, the feeling of joy is deeper and longer-lasting.

But what can we do to contribute to others?

Every simple act of kindness is a contribution. Every small act that lets you know you made a difference in someone else’s life is also a contribution.

It can be asking the dry cleaner how his or her day is going and really listening. Or saying “thank you” to the mail carrier for bringing your mail every day.

There are people who are often ignored, and you can put a smile on their faces by simply acknowledging them.

My friend Anna stops and talks to homeless people. She looks them in the eyes and acknowledges that they are human beings. Another friend pays the toll for the person behind her on a bridge. I went to a party over the holidays, and we all brought a toy for the Fireman’s Christmas fund.

When I gave birth to my daughter, a woman came into my room to mop. I said, “Thank you so much for cleaning my room.”

“Did I do something wrong?” she replied.

I said, “No, I just want to thank you. She looked at me quizzically. So, I said it again differently. “I really appreciate having a clean room, and you made that happen.” She smiled and thanked me. I don’t think anyone had ever done that for her before.

Notice one thing in common with all these actions. They cost us little in terms of time or money, but they can mean a lot to another person. And if you acknowledge that you made a difference to someone else, you’ll feel uplifted as well.

How to eliminate 19 beliefs that have people stop just short of their goals

Why are people afraid to do new things? Why do they sometimes feel like impostors? Why aren’t they able to just assume they will figure out how to make things work?

The answer is limiting beliefs. Specifically, self-beliefs.

When you have a limiting belief about yourself, it’s hard to escape. You are with your “self” all day long. But when you change a self-belief what happens? The invisible barrier in your way seems to vanish.

Announcing Natural Confidence: A way to eliminate self-doubt

The Natural Confidence program isn’t a rah, rah cheerleader saying, “You can do it.”

We know that doesn’t lead to lasting change. Instead, it helps you unlearn the beliefs that keep you from knowing that you’ll find a way to reach your goals and overcome problems. When that happens, you experience the freedom to act.

You can get Natural Confidence and see the many success stories from people who tried the program.

Go to

One Comment

  1. Louis April 18, 2024 at 3:48 am - Reply

    It goes both ways…
    It feels good for the person acknowledged and the one who does it
    When you know how many people lack of recognition/appreciation, you see how important it is to do it

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