May 17th was Morty, my late husband’s, birthday.  He was the creator of the Lefkoe Method and along with me the co-founder of the Lefkoe Institute.

I wanted to write something earlier to honor him but the words didn’t come.  Now they have.

So many people have said things like “I want the kind of relationship that you had with Morty.”

Many said “He was a great man.”

Most said “He was the kindest, most loving, non judgmental man they had ever met.”

I want so much to remind everyone that many of the beliefs we have make us feel that our worth and value come from our achievements.  Such beliefs keep us from just being.

Being caring.

Being kind.

Being accepting.

Being committed.

Being joyful.

Being loving.

Further, it puts our focus on doing.

So we work a lot, clean our houses, do chores, drive the kids around, help with homework, cook dinner, and strive to do even more tomorrow.

It isn’t life affirming and never will be.

I can hear Morty’s voice acknowledging my kids for coming to dinner with us.  For just being his daughters.  For spending time with us.  

I remember him talking to clients and acknowledging them for their commitment, their courage, and their willingness to grow.

He acknowledged me all the time by saying “Thank you for loving me.”

He thanked me for the difference I made in people’s’ lives.

He acknowledged me for being a great friend and for loving people so completely.

He appreciated how much I supported and believed in him and his vision.

I felt deeply appreciated and seen.  Yes he also thanked me for cooking dinner, or shopping, or doing an errand for him but that wasn’t as meaningful to me.

Now don’t get me wrong, of course we have things to do.

It’s important to take action and do the things that we need to do to have our lives work.

Just remember your priorities.

Are you creating your relationships newly every day?

Are you taking time to be with your loved ones?

Are you behaving in such a way that has people feel seen and appreciated?

Are you being fun to be around?  

Are you being authentic?  

When you just be, you can be authentically you.  And there is nothing more powerful and more joyful than just being able to BE YOU.

So, on Morty’s birthday I honor his legacy and his work by saying to you what I know he would say if he was here.

I love you.

Thanks for reading and as Morty used to say,

“Thank you for allowing me to contribute to your life.”

And thank you my darling for leaving a legacy for me to carry on.  For giving my life a purpose.  And for loving me every minute of every day for 36 years.