"Why don't clients resist?" Skulpan, a past participant in LMT1, said.
As a therapist, he'd noticed that clients often seemed to offer resistance, but not when experiencing the Lefkoe Method. Let's examine why that is by looking at the source-finding step of the belief process.
In our view, a belief is formed from events in the past. We call those events "the source" of the belief. To get to the source, we ask
"What are some of the earliest experiences that led you to your belief?"
If it's a common belief, like "I'm not good enough," the client might describe being criticized by his parents when he did something wrong. Maybe he heard, "What's wrong with you?" when he made a mistake. We summarize what we've heard, but we do something crucial before moving on. We acknowledge that it makes sense for them to form a belief based on those events.
Here's what we say:
"Can you see that it's not just you but that most people at that age, under those circumstances, would have formed a similar conclusion?"
The client usually nods their head but if they are unsure, we may take this a little further.
"It wasn't a stupid thing you came up with or a mistake. It made sense at the time. In fact, had you come up with the opposite conclusion – to say with all this criticism I'm totally OK – that would have been pretty strange, wouldn't it?"
At this point, the client often laughs.
Why belabor this point?
Even if the client doesn't resist you, they may resist the process if they feel they are being made wrong by it. And they weren't wrong to form their belief. It may not have been the best belief to form, but it made a lot of sense at the time.
By clarifying this, we avoid 1) the client criticizing themselves and 2) the client resisting a process that makes them feel they are prone to error.
Instead, we validate the client.
This validation allows them to relax. It also allows them to go deep when we ask further questions that help them eliminate their beliefs. Each step of the process is carefully designed to ensure the client has no reason to resist. They will feel validated at every step, and by the end, they will notice their belief has been cleared. We never have to argue with a client or try to convince them of anything.
We don't debate. We validate.
This is one reason why past participant in LMT1, Suzanne Bare, who is also a Behavioral Health Instructor at Kaiser Permanente, said
"I have been counseling and coaching people for the past 17 years. The Lefkoe Method is by far the most effective and elegant treatment I offer my clients."
I love the word elegant.
A process that so neatly bypasses resistance is indeed elegant. You'll gain the ability to guide clients with elegance through the Lefkoe Belief Process in LMT1: Core Belief Coaching. By the end, you will be a highly referable coach who consistently helps clients eliminate the beliefs that are stopping them.
