Whoever could untie the knot would rule all of Asia.
That was the legend. The problem? No one could even see how the knots were fastened, let alone unravel them. When Alexander the Great marched into Gordium in 333 BC, he knew this puzzle would define his destiny.
The ancient historian Arrian said Alexander was immediately “seized with an ardent desire” to untie the knot.
He tried for hours and made no progress. Then he stood back and said, “It makes no difference how they are loosed.” Then, he sliced the knot in half with his sword.
To solve the puzzle, Alexander ignored the unspoken conditions others had accepted – that you must untie the knot – and used his sword to cut right through the problem.
What if you could cut through what’s been keeping you stuck?
Maybe you’ve been trying to make changes for years.
You want to finally launch that business. Or stop procrastinating. Or speak up in meetings without that knot of anxiety in your stomach. Or just silence that inner voice that keeps telling you you’re not good enough.
You know what you want to change. You’ve tried to change it.
Yet somehow, you keep doing the same things. Having the same reactions. Feeling the same self-doubt and self-judgment.
Here’s what most people assume: they need more willpower, more discipline, or just need to try harder. They think if they read the right book, take the right course, or finally get enough therapy, something will click.
But what if the real issue isn’t any of those things?
The beliefs people accept without question
Just like the people who assumed they had to untie the Gordian Knot, most people accept certain conditions about making lasting change:
- That change takes a long time and a lot of hard work
- That you’ll always struggle with the same issues
- That limiting beliefs are just part of who you are
- That you need to learn to manage your thoughts and feelings better
I don’t agree with any of these assumptions.
I believe you can have unconditional self-esteem
Before I explain how, let me define what I mean. Unconditional self-esteem is feeling OK about yourself regardless of what happens in your life. You make a mistake at work? You still feel OK about yourself. Someone criticizes you? You still feel worthy. You don’t accomplish what you planned today? Your sense of self remains rock solid.
This isn’t about positive thinking or affirmations. It’s not about “reframing” your thoughts or managing your mindset. Those are like trying to untie the Gordian Knot one strand at a time – exhausting and often ineffective.
Unconditional self-worth allows you to feel OK even when everything in your life is not OK. This is an empowering way to be. You can remain centered and stable even when a storm of events whirls around you.
The question is, then, how do we help ourselves get this internal stability?
How to eliminate what’s holding you back
To get this internal stability requires eliminating two kinds of beliefs:
1) Self-Beliefs
Self-beliefs are any beliefs you have about yourself:
- “I’m not good enough”
- “I’m not important”
- “I’m not worthwhile”
They tell you that you’re OK or not OK. When you eliminate a self-belief, you often feel that a weight has been lifted. A natural feeling of confidence rises up within you. It’s not forced. It’s just there. You also feel worthy for no reason at all. You just do.
2) Survival Strategy Beliefs
These beliefs say your self-worth is contingent on something “good” happening. A belief like “What makes me good enough is being perfect” makes you feel you need to do something “just right” before you can feel OK. A belief like “What makes me important is achieving” makes you feel you must reach high goals to feel good about yourself.
Both types of beliefs need to be eliminated to have unconditional self-worth.
I used to constantly worry about what others thought about me. After eliminating self-beliefs such as “I’m not good enough” and the survival strategy belief “What makes me good enough is having other people think well of me,” my inner voice became quiet. I am now myself 24/7. I no longer feel defined by anything outside of me. It’s true freedom, and it makes my life way more fun.
But isn’t it natural to feel bad when things go wrong?
Yes, it is common for people to feel bad when things go wrong. When my husband died, I felt deep sorrow. I still miss him to this day. I’ll likely miss him for the rest of my life. However, I don’t feel bad about myself as a result of his passing.
Some negative feelings are, of course, natural. However, self-judgment can always be eliminated if we get rid of limiting beliefs about ourselves.
What happens when people eliminate their beliefs
Jennifer had been wanting to launch her own luxury marketing and PR firm for a long time. But anxiety about money and lack of confidence kept her stuck. After eliminating her beliefs, everything changed. She launched her company and said, “I no longer am anxious about situations that would have made me stressful in the past. Especially when it comes to dealing with money, I have zero stress.”
Camilo took our Core Belief Coaching course to work on his fear of public speaking. As he eliminated beliefs, his confidence soared. He described the turning point: “I think the first time I eliminated a belief on my own, it changed for me. Once you cross that threshold, you get that you can do it over and over again!”
Mario had battled procrastination his entire life. Even while taking Core Belief Coaching, procrastination showed up. But as he eliminated beliefs throughout the course, something shifted. He noticed that “staying focused, not leaving everything for the last moment or for tomorrow has become easier and easier.”
Sherry, a tennis coach, took Core Belief Coaching and found herself calmer and more confident mid-way through the course. Tasks that she used to procrastinate on were now completed early or on time. She said, “I feel much calmer and able to handle situations which come up with responding instead of reacting and remind myself that I don’t have to control everything and that I don’t even have to.”
These aren’t people who learned to “manage” their issues better. They eliminated the beliefs creating those issues. Permanently.
Why other methods leave you stuck
Maybe you’ve tried therapy. Or read dozens of self-help books. Or worked with coaches and healers. Or downloaded every meditation app and tried every productivity system.
Those approaches can be valuable. Sometimes they even create breakthroughs.
But when an issue resists all efforts to change – when you’ve been working on the same pattern for years, when procrastination persists despite every technique, when self-doubt remains no matter what you try – it’s usually because several limiting beliefs are in the way.
Most methods try to help you change by:
- Reframing how you feel about events
- Trying to change your energy system
- Working with your body
But they don’t address the actual process by which beliefs were created in the first place.
That’s like trying to untie the Gordian Knot strand by strand. It’s why you’ve been stuck. It’s why you keep doing things that don’t work even though you know better.
The missing piece: reversing how beliefs are formed
Core Belief Coaching works differently. It actually reverses the process by which a belief is formed. That’s why it creates lasting change.
It’s based on a clear theory of why people keep doing things that don’t work. When you understand how beliefs are created – and then reverse that process – the belief simply disappears. Not managed. Not reframed. Gone.
Think about what becomes possible when the beliefs driving your patterns are actually eliminated:
- You take action on goals you’ve been procrastinating on for years
- You stop repeating the same patterns in relationships
- You make decisions without constant self-doubt
- You take risks without paralyzing fear
- You live without that inner voice of self-judgment
This isn’t about learning to cope better. It’s about removing what’s been in your way.
What unconditional self-esteem makes possible
When you eliminate beliefs like “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not important,” and “What makes me worthy is having others approve of me,” you experience freedom you might not have thought possible.
You can be yourself without apology. You can take action without waiting to feel “ready.” You can handle criticism without it crushing you. You can fail at something without feeling like a failure.
Your sense of yourself becomes rock solid. Not because you’ve convinced yourself you’re worthy. But because the beliefs telling you you’re not worthy are gone.
That’s the difference between trying to untie the knot and cutting straight through it.
Summary
- Unconditional self-esteem means feeling OK about yourself regardless of what happens
- Most methods leave you stuck because they don’t address how beliefs were created – Core Belief Coaching reverses the process by which beliefs are formed
- This creates lasting change by eliminating beliefs permanently, not just managing them
Core Belief Coaching teaches you how to eliminate the beliefs that have been holding you back. You’ll learn the process for removing limiting beliefs – the ones creating your procrastination, your self-doubt, your repeating patterns. Based on a clear understanding of how beliefs are formed, you’ll learn to reverse that process and experience the freedom that comes when those beliefs are gone.
Stay tuned for more information about Core Belief Coaching.
