Every time we send our mailing list a survey asking what you want from the Lefkoe Institute, what you want out of life, or what you would like to change in your life, the most frequent answer we get is overcoming fear in order to take action. Other answers include: Eliminating other negative feelings and wanting to be more successful. On a recent questionnaire many of you mentioned wanting to make some type of contribution to others.

Is that all there is to life?

Future Red Word Conceptual DoorThese are certainly worthwhile goals. I suspect that they are representative of what most people in developed countries would say. (In some parts of the world the answers would be: shelter, sufficient food and water, physical safety, etc.) Your answers were the same ones I would have given for most of my life. I’m happy to say that using The Lefkoe Method (TLM) has helped me and many others achieve the goals listed in our surveys.

But at some point I asked myself: I certainly would like to remove my obstacles to success, but is that all there is to life? Life has to be about more than getting rid of my problems and “having things.”

In an attempt to discover what else there might be to life, I unlearned hundreds of beliefs, de-conditioned a lot of conditionings, and dissolved all the meanings I could distinguish every day. I also listened to hundreds of podcasts, read innumerable books, and constantly practiced the techniques in the Lefkoe Freedom Course and the Advanced Lefkoe Freedom Course (ALFC) after those courses were created.

Eventually, by consistently using all the processes in TLM I was able to go way beyond my initial goals.

Here’s where I am today

I sat down recently and made an inventory of my life. Here is my description of what my life looks like today. Every item on the list is not true for me every minute of every day, but this list is a pretty accurate description of me and my life most of the time. And when I don’t think, feel or act like I describe below, I don’t give that fact any meaning. I just ask myself what I can learn from the experience and move on.

  • I have created a personal vision beyond anything I had ever thought I could accomplish earlier in my life,
  • I have identified the contribution I want to make to others and removed many of the barriers in the way of making that contribution,
  • I am regularly starting projects I would have been afraid to start years ago,
  • I am rarely upset or angry by what my loved ones do or say; when I am I usually am able to dissolve the meaning that caused the upset.
  • I experience unconditional love with most people, including those I used to dislike (this is one I still have to improve on, but I am able to do this frequently),
  • I am excited and passionate about my work without the upsets that used to come when I didn’t achieve what I intended or when I got negative feedback from others,
  • I am no longer being concerned about what others think of me and no longer need to do and say things to impress others, as I had been earlier in my life,
  • I no longer fear rejection,
  • I feel confident about my ability to do almost anything I choose to do; in fact I especially like committing to do things I don’t know how to do and then figuring out how to do it,
  • I see multiple possibilities for most situations and realize that the viewpoints of others make as much sense to them given their life experiences and beliefs as my viewpoints do to me given my experiences and beliefs,
  • I have virtually eliminated stress and emotional suffering from my life; I didn’t feel a moment’s stress or emotional suffering when I recently received a diagnosis of fourth stage metastatic colon cancer,
  • I have eliminated most of the barriers—the beliefs, conditionings, and meanings—that stand in the way of living my ideal life and becoming my ideal me,
  • In fact, I have raised my consciousness so that much of the time I experience nothing missing in my life, anything is possible, and there are no limitations,
  • I have made virtually all the changes in my life I had always wanted to make and had never been able to make,
  • I have eliminated the “shoulds” and negative self-talk that used to sabotage my enjoyment of life,
  • I recognize that the most of the remaining problems I face are not because of my inability to deal effectively with the world; they are the result of the world I created for myself with my beliefs about myself, people, and life—which enables me to dissolve most problems merely by changing my beliefs about my world,
  • I create breakthroughs in every area of my life regularly, which enables me to take actions I had not taken before, so I can produce results I had not produced before,
  • I get tremendous enjoyment and satisfaction from my journey, while remaining unattached to the destination.
  • I am truly happy almost all of the time and when I’m not, that’s okay.

I’m confused

When I compare the goals most frequently mentioned in our surveys with what I now know is possible for a human being, I’m left with a question: Why are most of these qualities/characteristics/ways of dealing with life not listed when I ask my readers what they want from life and from the Lefkoe Institute?

I’ve thought of two possible answers:

1. You don’t think they are possible, so it never occurs to you to say you want them.

2. You are so focused on overcoming the day-to-day obstacles in your life—the things that are in the way of you getting what you want—that you don’t really think about what would come next. (This would be like asking people in third world countries why they don’t think about having a better job when they have none at all; better food when they have none at all; a nicer and bigger home when they sleep on the ground under a leaking tent.) Maybe we’ve just got to handle our more basic needs before we think about wanting more subtle “higher level” satisfactions.

(See Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for more details on this point. On the other hand, one study seems to indicate that although fulfilling our basic needs was “strongly correlated” with happiness, people all over the world reported that self-actualization needs “were important even when even when many of the most basic needs were

[still] unfulfilled.”)

Please take a minute and leave a comment below on what you think of my list above. Are there items on my list that you would like to have in your life? And, if so, please tell me why have you never mentioned these items when I asked in several surveys what’s missing in your life or how the Lefkoe Institute could contribute to you?

By the way, if it never occurred to you before to want many of the qualities/characteristics/ways of dealing with life that I listed above, now that you know they are possible, how about committing to achieve them now? Why settle for anything less than what is possible?

If you want others to improve their lives as you have with the information on my posts, please share this blog post with them by using the buttons located below.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to our our interactive online belief-unlearning program where you can unlearn several limiting beliefs free.

You also can find out about Natural Confidence, an interactive digital program that enables you to unlearn 19 of the most common beliefs, which cause some of the most common behavioral and emotional problems we face.

Copyright © 2014 Morty Lefkoe


  1. Arpit Ward October 10, 2014 at 10:05 pm - Reply

    Great list you have made Morty , I also had a similar list and read it daily before going to bed and waking up early morning. I really like your point where you’ve mentioned about personal vision board. Our vision board can be about anything that makes us happy. It can have pictures of places we want to go to, things that we want to acquire, people in our life, those we want to meet, and even pictures of famous people that inspire us. I’ve added few of your point to my list & thanks for sharing:)

  2. SK September 23, 2014 at 4:03 pm - Reply

    I would like to quit my job and do something that I want to do not that I have to do, But my family depends on me to bring home some bacon. I like my health insurance but worried about what if I don’t have it( as I would be self employed and broke. when I mention going out on my own my spouse shoots it down becuase he would be anxious being the sole bread winner for awhile and maybe forever. And I think he would rather do something else too, so there may evenbe some jealousy there. Why should he sacrifice right? Then there is the how am I going to pay for my kids college fund. What is my job in the universe? And what if it’s what I am already doing? ( it is actually a perfect sort of job to do if I really wanted to keep working for someone else.) but I want a job where I could and say this was an awesome day! I accomplished the things I wanted to and felt good about myself and what I did. That job that I want is just being a wife and mom and artist. Taking care of my family, my house and myself. Not a corporate business.

  3. lees September 22, 2014 at 8:07 am - Reply

    As I get older, more and more I feel crushed by the concept that “life is not fair.” This is especially true with regard to money. I’ve done all the ‘right’ things – worked hard, went to college, etc. But my goals always seem just out of reach. In particular I look at others and see how things for my family and my life have been so much more difficult. Don’t get me wrong, I do “OK” (I’m not homeless or anything like that), but I feel like I am missing out on the bigger stuff that I deserve as much as anyone else and it’s so so depressing.

    For example, a guy I work with is now making over $100K per month – his family owns a piece of scrub land in south Texas that just happens to have oil and gas underneath. A childhood friend always had more money than my family and waved it in my face; I just found out that her father died a couple months ago at age 92 – my dad died from a medical error 35 years ago. She had all this time with her dad that I didn’t get, and her parents had a great life with lots of money (big house, fancy vacations, winter home in Hawaii, etc). My sister struggles to make ends meet. My mom lives in a tiny apartment and it breaks my heart that I can’t help her out. And on and on.

    Sorry to sound whiney, but you asked. I want more control, I want more wealth, and I want to enjoy life.

    I did your course to eliminate 19 beliefs + 5 money beliefs a few years ago.

    • Erdal October 1, 2014 at 10:44 am - Reply

      Hello less,
      There is always a place you can start. That place can not be different from where you are. There is so much you can discover if you really wanted to fulfill your deepest desires. Just start somewhere, with the best intentions you can formulate, and work on your life. Learn from others, do what you can do, discover activities that would help you, learn about yourself.. Look at your mind.. look at yourself.. know yourself.. What is the source of your unhappiness? What is the source of happiness for truly happy people? Ask the questions that you deep inside feel would bring the highest benefit to you.. And interact with life and your heart to discover the answers.. Growth depends on your desire and concentrating your energy on this desire… And focus on the desires that would bring the highest good that you know of.. This is also important.. Not something that feels not quite right in your heart.. Step by step, moment by moment it would open up.. Don’t get attached to what problems you can solve, sometimes you need to take care of other stuff before things get resolved themselves.. Focus on the highest good you can see and the other things will get solved gradually in time, because the highest good will take you to the core of your problems.. and when the core branches are removed, the leaves are also removed with them..

  4. Erdal September 20, 2014 at 10:21 am - Reply

    Hello Morty,

    When I read your list, I see a fellow human who is fulfilling his desires and evolving in the path of his life. Your desires, those that you deeply feel are important and worthy to you, that you feel that would serve your highest good, I think you should follow them.. just like another human being can have a different set of desires that would also help him grow.. I think every human being is constantly guided from within towards their highest good.. so it is not necessary to know and plan every goal in advance in every case, unless you are guided to do exactly that.. you deal with it as your life opens up.. and sure.. at any time you can reach deep inside yourself and find or perhaps create those desires that seem sky high.. and if they really come from your Soul or Higher Self.. if they are not temporary whims of the ego.. they should persist and shape your life.. it would be a celebration if we chose to create such a life.. If we develop this connection with ourselves.. it’s fruits would benefit everyone..

  5. CM September 18, 2014 at 5:10 pm - Reply

    Both! I’m so focused on the daily obstacles right in front of my face (or attention), that it never occurs to me to want anything “bigger” than for them to go away. I want those pains (problems) to go away so just existing through life wouldn’t hurt AS MUCH–not even thinking that that’s far too small a goal or that there was even anything better than that to hope (much less AIM) for.

  6. perry jackson September 18, 2014 at 6:41 am - Reply

    i’d like love someone and they love me back?

  7. mbk September 17, 2014 at 6:07 pm - Reply

    Hi Morty – for me it is definitely #2. Until I handled so many of those day to day issues, I really had no idea of what the goals you listed really meant. of course I have read about them and I knew they were lofty ideals, but that meant very little to me as I could not see that forest for the “trees” of my day to day fears and difficulties. now that I have cleared out many of those – much of what you wrote resonates with me and I do live there some of the time. now I have a real sense in my own life of your list – but until that started to happen, when I could get a sense of what was possible, I could not have put that on a list. I needed the foundation to be cleared up to be able to see that expansive future.
    I love you!

  8. Jake September 17, 2014 at 12:15 pm - Reply

    Hi all just wanted to say that I’ve recently finished reading Mortys book – Re-Create you Life, I previously had some trouble not believing the method and also had trouble making it work for me, after reading the book I have a much better understanding of how TLM works and am now working through the natural confidence program seeing great results :) don’t give up like I thought about people, it works :) as for what I want from life, I think my thoughts and beliefs put a cap on what I thought was possible for me to have in life, even though deep down I want more from life, if that makes sense. Cheers, jake

  9. Norm Abbott September 17, 2014 at 11:55 am - Reply

    Hi, Morty & Y’ALL !

    In response, spontaneously, I wrote:

    Ideas Stillness Energy 17Sept14

    One day, I Chose to look across the lake, into the blue sky, and realize that I was gazing into Limitlessness. It BEcame my Window into Limitlessness. I then Chose to go into my Stillness of Stillness, just dangle in my pure Existence, wherein vast Benevolent Universe cradles (even) me in Cherishment. I chose to Dwell in these moments of Eternity. From Benevolent Universe, I Am Infused with New Limitless Energies, Knowingness and Enthusiasm for the Magnificent Gift that I and My Existence Is. I want for nothing and Am a Free Entity moving in New Discoveries and Energies. May I Share with You and Everyone: We are ALL minute puffs of vapour on this spec of dust planet Earth, in a cloud of dust Galaxie of endless Galaxies, but Our Substance is Consciousness of BEing Aware that My Character, with Which I must Live 24/7 is Tremendously well worth CHOOSING to Improve so that I can ask for and receive More Fullness in My Entity’s Magnificent Existence. I Am Grateful !!! – NJA

    Thanks !!!

  10. Alejandro September 17, 2014 at 9:01 am - Reply

    Personally, the reason I haven’t mentioned anything too big on the surveys is because I always understood the survey question as: “What do you want the Lefkoe Institute to do for you?”, and I never thought the institute was actually capable to help people achieve those big things (at least not without a lot of time and effort focused on each individual).

    For now, what I really really want is to get to a point where I care 0% about what people think of me. I want for it to make no difference at all if people accept me or reject me (while remaining lucid and self-aware enough to act within reason, of course).

    • Morty Lefkoe September 17, 2014 at 12:39 pm - Reply

      Hi Alejandro,

      Good to hear from you.

      You can rid yourself of that concern in just 3-4 sessions in most cases.

      Love, Morty

  11. Bill September 17, 2014 at 7:18 am - Reply

    I do have goals and dreams. I want to help sa ve the planet and the plants and animals. I wanted a wife, kids and a house. I am 59 with an MA degree. These dreams are slipping away. I struggle financially. Every hour of the day I feel regret for missed opportunities and for actions I feel ashamed of. All efforts at releasing regret fail. I cannot feel happy. I keep trying.

    • Morty Lefkoe September 17, 2014 at 12:41 pm - Reply

      Hi Bill,

      I’m sorry to hear things are so difficult for you right now.

      It is possible to turn that situation around totally by unlearning a few beliefs. It is possible to be happy, I promise.

      Call us at (415) 506-4472 for more information about our private sessions using The Lefkoe Method on the phone or Skype.

      Love, Morty

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