Every Friday, something strange happens in Tamara’s village in Lithuania.

As the sun begins to set, hundreds of women throughout the village suddenly stop what they’re doing. They rush to their ovens, turn them off, and then… they leave their food inside. Until the next day.

Tamara does the same thing.

What’s going on here? Why would anyone cook food this way?

Tamara and the other women were Jews living in Lithuania in the 1900s and so did not work on the Sabbath which begins sundown on Friday. To serve hot food would require cooking and since cooking is work, it isn’t allowed on the Sabbath. So these women came up with an ingenious solution. Let the oven continue to cook the food and keep it warm until it’s ready to be served after Saturday services.

There was a hidden reason driving Tamara’s behavior—her religious beliefs.

And just like Tamara, when you’re avoiding something you know you need to do, there’s always a hidden reason driving that behavior too.

When you keep putting something off, I get it

Maybe you’re the person who’s been meaning to start that blog for months. Or you’ve been putting off launching your business, asking for that promotion, or even just posting on social media to grow your audience.

If you’re beating yourself up about it, please don’t. I see this all the time. You’re not lazy, and you’re not broken. You have hidden meanings in your mind driving your avoidance … just like the women in Tamara’s village … and all other humans do.

The thing is, these meanings are usually completely unconscious. That’s why it can feel so frustrating—like you’re fighting against yourself for no good reason.

The real cause: meanings that hide in the shadows

Let me tell you about Sarah, one of my students in the Occurring Course. She’d been putting off recording videos for her coaching business for over a year. Every time she set up her camera, she’d find a reason to do something else instead.

When we dug deeper, here’s what we found hiding in her mind:

“If I make a video and it’s awkward, people will think I’m unprofessional.”

“What if no one watches it? That means I’m not interesting enough.”

“They’ll hate it.”

No wonder she kept avoiding it! These meanings were creating a wall of fear between Sarah and her goal.

Or take David, another student in the Occurring Course, who kept postponing applying for a dream job at a nonprofit. His hidden meanings?

“If they reject me, it means I’m not qualified for the work I really want to do.”

“What if I get the interview and they realize I’m not as impressive as my resume makes me seem?”

“If I don’t get this job, I’ll have to settle for something I don’t really want.”

The fear felt so real to him—because those meanings felt absolutely true.

How to uncover what’s really driving your avoidance

The beautiful thing is, once you know how to look for these meanings, they’re not that hard to find. Here’s the simple process I use with my students:

Step 1: Imagine taking action and failing

Think about the thing you’ve been avoiding. Now imagine doing it and having it go badly. Really picture it. What’s the worst-case scenario your mind comes up with?

Step 2: Notice the feelings and thoughts that arise

As you imagine that failure, what comes up for you? Embarrassment? Shame? Disappointment? Just notice whatever’s there without judging it.

Step 3: Ask yourself these two questions:

• “What would this mean about me?”
• “How might others see me?”

Then just listen. If your mind goes blank, don’t worry—it struggles to stay silent for long. You’ll hear some thoughts soon enough if you wait.

Those thoughts? Those are the meanings that have been running the show.

What Sarah discovered

When Sarah did this process, she realized her fear of making videos wasn’t really about the videos at all. It was about meanings like “They’ll hate it” and “People will see right through me.”

Once she could see these meanings clearly, she was able to dissolve them using the Lefkoe Occurring Process. Within a week, she’d recorded her first video. Within a month, she had a whole series posted.

The same is true for David. Once he dissolved the meanings about what rejection would mean, he applied for the job the next day. He didn’t get it, but here’s the beautiful part—he didn’t let it stop him. He kept applying for other positions without losing steam, something that would have been impossible before when rejection felt like proof of his inadequacy.

Your behavior always has a driver

Just like Tamara’s religious observance drove her to leave that stew in the oven, something is driving your avoidance too. It’s not mysterious or unfixable—it’s just meanings that are hiding from your conscious awareness.

The moment you bring them into the light and dissolve them, the path forward becomes clear. Suddenly, taking action feels natural instead of terrifying.

Because here’s what I’ve learned after years of helping people with this: You’re not actually afraid of failure. You’re afraid of what failure might mean about you. And meanings? Those can be dissolved.

How to dissolve negative feelings in seconds (and make it a compelling habit)

Life brings us all big and small storms that can keep us from experiencing total joy. Wouldn’t it be great if we could somehow be a bit more like the eye of the hurricane, unaffected by the chaos around us?

Fortunately, my husband Morty created a way to do just that called the Lefkoe Occurring Course. In that course, you learn how to dissolve unwanted emotions in seconds. Then you make dissolving emotions a habit. You see reality with much greater clarity. As a result, positive and uplifting emotions tend to occur naturally.

You can register for the Lefkoe Occurring Course on August 12th. However, to do that, you first need to join the waiting list here: https://occurringcourse.com/loc-goodies-sign-up

While you wait you’ll get several goodies teaching you more about how to dissolve unwanted feelings. So please join today and use what you learn to help yourself and contribute to others.