This past weekend I attended a workshop that led to me look back at my growth and some of the pivotal points in my life. I want to share them with you because you might be on a similar path and understanding the path I’ve taken might make your own journey much clearer.

The first stage

Road to EnlightenmentAs regular readers of this blog know all too well, for the first 38 years of my life I was miserable. Between my depression, my neediness, my two divorces, my dissatisfaction with work, and being scared and upset much of the times, I was a mess.

I wanted desperately to get better, to get over my problems. I tried various forms of psychotherapy, none of which made any real difference at all. Things only started to turn around when I took the est training in 1975. I realized then that I had been waiting for something outside myself to change and make me happy—more money, the right woman, something, anything—so I could improve my life.

My problems didn’t go away at that time but there was at least an intellectual shift to realizing that my happiness was up to me, that nothing outside me would ever make me happy, that I was responsible for my own happiness.

The second stage

Major changes had to wait another ten years until I created the Lefkoe Belief Process in 1985, which enabled me over the next few years to get rid of most of my specific problems.

But as those specific problems—such as depression, neediness, and being obsessed with what others thought of me—faded away, I started becoming aware of a subtler type of problem that I had never fully realized because these other problems had been having such a profound negative impact on my life. This concealed issue was the many upsets in the course of a day that seemed to be caused by people and events.

The third stage

In 2010 I discovered that these upsets were being caused by the moment-to-moment meaning we give to events as they happen, such as assuming someone doesn’t care about you and your desires if they don’t do something you asked them to do. I was able to create a way to dissolve these moment-to-moment meanings and the emotions they caused in seconds, which I called the Lefkoe Freedom Process. That same year I taught this process to 18 people in a course called the Lefkoe Freedom Experiment. I’ve since taught it to over 300 participants in my regular Lefkoe Freedom Courses.

After awhile I noticed that I and others in subsequent courses were able to not only consciously dissolve meaning very quickly as we noticed it, we got to the point where we rarely gave meaning to events and automatically dissolved it most of the time when we did.

During this period I stopped worrying about getting better and about getting rid of my stress and emotional suffering. Most of the time I experienced myself as okay just the way I was. The problems were gone; the stress and emotional suffering had disappeared from my life. I experienced myself as a truly happy man and was grateful for the way I had created my life.

The fourth stage

But it wasn’t long until I asked myself: Now what? Is this all there is? Is this all that life is about? I was interested in what the psychologist Abraham Maslow called self-actualization. So I created a bunch of exercises and processes that enabled me and others to move into altered states of consciousness, to experience life in ways human beings don’t usually experience life. Some of the results included:

  •  experiencing unconditional love for specific people, even people whom you had disliked in the past;
  • the ability to deeply understand the points of view of others, even those you disagree with, by getting that any point of view makes sense given the beliefs and the circumstances that gave rise to the beliefs;
  • turning both your work and your life into a game, so that you can play them with passion and excitement at the same time you are not attached to the outcome.

These personal experiences led me to create the Advanced Lefkoe Freedom Course, where I taught these and other exercises and processes to 55 people since the first course in early 2013.

The four stages

So to summarize the four stages,

First, from est I got an intellectual understanding that I was responsible for my problems—that they weren’t imposed on me from without, but I had no idea how to be responsible for them.

Second, the Lefkoe Belief Process provided me with a way to be responsible for my life, to get better, to get rid of the problems that consumed so much of my life, to overcome what Maslow calls “deficiency needs.”

Third, I noticed a more subtle level of dissatisfaction, the stress and emotional suffering that seemed to be a undercurrent in my life, which affected me to some extent almost every day, which I was able to dissolve using the Lefkoe Freedom Process.

Fourth, I realized that life was about more than not having anything wrong with me and I started to focus more on self-actualization. (Actually I had started this search much earlier in life and had experienced many glimpses of what was possible to a human being, but my primary focus had still been on getting rid of my problems as long as they existed.)

Can knowing about my journey make your journey easier?

I think that many people go through these same steps without realizing they are doing that. I wrote today’s post with the thought that knowing some details of my path might be useful to those of you traveling a similar path.

As a reader posted on my blog a couple of weeks ago in response to a post in which I listed the traits that characterize my life now:

Until I handled so many of those day-to-day issues, I really had no idea of what the goals you listed really meant. Of course I have read about them and I knew they were lofty ideals, but that meant very little to me as I could not see that forest for the “trees” of my day to day fears and difficulties. Now that I have cleared out many of those – much of what you wrote resonates with me and I do live there some of the time. Now I have a real sense in my own life of your list – but until that started to happen, when I could get a sense of what was possible, I could not have put that on a list. I needed the foundation to be cleared up to be able to see that expansive future.
I love you! MBK

What path are you on? Did describing my path help illuminate your own? Does it help to know that if you keep traveling, even when the journey seems endless and filled with effort and struggle, the path eventually can get easier?

Does my journey help you to realize that if you don’t give in to despair, there is—the use the old cliché—“a light at the end of the tunnel”?

Is it now real that a way of living that has seemed far out of reach is actually attainable?
Thanks for reading my blog. Please post your questions or comments on my description of my path to self-actualization. Disagreement is as welcome as agreement. Your comments add value for thousands of readers. I love to read them all and I will respond to as many as I can.

If you want others to improve their lives as you have with the information on my posts, please share this blog post with them by using the buttons located below.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to our interactive online belief-unlearning program where you can unlearn several limiting beliefs free.

You also can find out about Natural Confidence, an interactive digital program that enables you to unlearn 19 of the most common beliefs, which cause some of the most common behavioral and emotional problems we face.

Copyright © 2014 Morty Lefkoe


  1. Joseph June 22, 2015 at 9:28 pm - Reply


    Your work has changed my life infinitely for the better. So thank you for all that you’ve done. Your wisdom is a panacea.

    Specifically thank you for making the LFP available for free. That has been hugely useful.

    A while ago I purchased the Natural Confidence Course. I dutifully worked the process and had some partially good results. However it did not stick and after countless hours of work I gave up for a while. At this time I began to realize I am auditory kinesthetic, and do not see meaning in events, but rather feel it.

    Fast forward a couple of months. I found a book called Beyond Willpower which takes a very different approach to eliminating beliefs and conditioning. It has been producing some pretty excellent results, especially since I am already aware of the beliefs and conditioning to target thanks to the NCC. What are your thoughts on this book, (if you’ve heard of it)? And have you developed any further tools specifically for auditory kinesthetic dominant people?

  2. Patricia October 6, 2014 at 12:57 pm - Reply

    My first thought was, this looks quite similar. Maybe for me, I go in and out of the stages with certain beliefs. I know from what I’ve read and seen in your sample courses, misbeliefs, are to be gone totally when all is worked through. I don’t find this the case with some things, but I do with others. The “others” I cannot recall – LOL.

    Thanks for all you do and share with us.

  3. Cynthia October 2, 2014 at 10:38 pm - Reply


    As I read the first paragraph of your blog, I realized I was reading an accurate summary of my life … except it took me more like 48 years to find you and begin turning things around!

    I had a “heretical” thought/question upon finishing the blog …

    This was a path that you had to take because none of these understandings and processes existed, and this was how you discovered and developed them.

    But … now that you HAVE developed them, does it follow that everyone has to go through each step as you did?

    Or, is it at least possible that you can teach us the ultimate state (fourth step) without going through all the interim steps, or doing so in an abbreviated manner?

    Obviously, the path IS abbreviated for all of us, because you’ve already done the discovery; we just have to learn your processes and do them.

    But is it possible to teach the “end state”, so others can start living from there and implementing the other Processes from that state virtually immediately?

    In learning math, we have to learn to count, then add and subtract, then multiply and divide … although others have worked their way up to calculus, it can’t be taught to first graders without their going through the foundational steps.

    But, metaphysically speaking, is it necessary that understanding unfold like a timeline or progression?

    I won’t waste too much time pondering this … far better to put the time to use using the Processes!

  4. LaurenLL October 2, 2014 at 10:50 am - Reply

    Loved the way you listed the steps in this process. In answer to your question, yes, it has helped me to organize my outlook as well as my personal journey in this life. I am interested in many things which can, in my case, can lead to chaos. With the help of Natural Confidence, LFP, and the ALFP, I have learned to prioritize what is important for me to focus upon. My like up until 2010 was one of diffusion; once I learned to decide for myself-through belief elimination as well dissolving occurrings-I feel more structured and in control. Perhaps I can go so far as to say that this may be a step in human evolution: this world needs something to dissolve the fear, anger, and hatred in this world.
    Love and Light on your Journey,

  5. Katherine October 1, 2014 at 5:56 pm - Reply

    Really enjoy “occurrences” blog i have widely shared it and use the information often

  6. Erdal October 1, 2014 at 11:20 am - Reply

    Hey Morty,
    You are one of the people that helped me a lot. After a point I seemingly diverged from you because I started following the teachings of an enlightened teacher, but we are all converging on the same goals.. I can see that.. And I am sure you are helping a lot of people.. Lets try our best! Love.

  7. Michael Valenti October 1, 2014 at 9:02 am - Reply

    Yes, it does help to read about your experiences. Are´nt we all going through the same confusion and fears of inadequacy. Our culture sets us up for them and we all need to learn the tools of self-growth. I have been working on trauma recovery and have reached a point now, where I am aware that it is my negative judgment of circumstances which makes my life miserable and that I don´t have a problem if I don´t call it a problem. I use gratitude to remind me and reinforce the awareness of my freedom by saying, ” thank goodness, that I don´t have to do that any more, that worrying, fears, anger or resentment.” Through my research I know that all negative thoughts and emotions, as well as destructive or self-destructive behavior, stems from traumatic childhood experiences, and, – contrary to popular psychology,- I know that they can only have as much power over me as I let them. I use EFT (see: to reduce the emotional charge of certain thoughts and memories if necessary, but after a while I found I can release any emotion by remembering that I am making it all up, and if its uncomfortable, I don´t need to hold on to it. There is no truth in those traumatic memories except that it was wrong, hurtful, and based on ignorance and misunderstandings, which I cannot correct now, except by forgiving and moving on. So letting go of the life story and focusing on creating a nice experience from moment to moment has set me free of all problems of life. And if one comes up I can let it go, or, if it´s traumatic use EFT to simmer it down to manageable levels. And if it still festers I use the Lefkoe process. Thanks a lot for putting it out here.

  8. Luis Aragones October 1, 2014 at 7:41 am - Reply

    Morty, thank you so much for all the value you and Shelly have added to so many people’s lives. Your work has changed my life. Everytime is see you write how you developed the beleif process in 1985 I feel so lucky as I was born that same year.


    Luis A.

  9. Trudy October 1, 2014 at 4:11 am - Reply

    Absolutely! This post really resonates – I too have moved so far in the last ten years or so towards reality and inner peace by eliminating the illusions I think I see ‘out there’! Thank you Morty for helping so many people to experience a happier life.

  10. Paul October 1, 2014 at 1:10 am - Reply


    This is an awesome post. My answer to your question is YES. Thank you do o much for this post. I will share it.

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