Just as we in 21st Century America look back at cultural practices of years gone by with a combination of repulsion and amazement, future generations probably will look back at the prejudice that runs rampant in the world today with similar reactions.

Just as it is almost impossible for us to understand the Roman thinking that feeding people to lions is a spectator sport, in a few years people will try to understand why millions of otherwise sane individuals would consider some people “less than” others because of the color of their skin, their ethnicity, or their sexual preference.

Rather than wait for future generations to try to figure out what made the widespread prejudice possible in the early days of the 21st century, let me offer one possible explanation while we are living in the middle of it.

All attitudes are the result of beliefs

Because our beliefs are the primary determinant of what we do and feel, and even what we perceive, all prejudice can be traced to beliefs.

Some people who are convinced that African-Americans, or Muslims, or gays are not as good as them are expressing their beliefs about those people.  A belief is a statement about reality that we experience as the truth.  It is a fact about reality for the person who holds the belief. So when we hold a belief about something, we are convinced that we know the truth about that something.

But, in fact, no belief describes the truth about reality.  Without exception, all beliefs are nothing more than arbitrary interpretations of actual events in reality. Physical objects and events certainly occur in the world, but the meaning we give the events exists only in our minds, not in the world.

How prejudicial beliefs are formed

A few years ago Leeza Gibbons devoted the entire hour of her daytime talk show to an investigation of the causes and cures for prejudice.  I had been on the show before talking about how beliefs cause most of our thoughts, feelings, and behavior, so she asked me to come back to discuss the relationship between beliefs and racial prejudice.

Before the show, we went into the audience looking for a volunteer who would acknowledge having prejudice and who also would like to get rid of it if possible.  We found Chad, a young man in his mid-20s, who said that he was “prejudiced against any ethnic group, the way they act and the things that they do.”  After getting rid of the primary belief that caused that feeling before the show started, he announced during the show to a nationwide audience that he no longer felt the same way.

Let me tell you about the conversation I had with Chad before the Leeza show went on the air.

When we started the conversation he had told me that he felt that members of ethnic minorities, especially African-Americans, couldn’t be trusted.  So I asked him: “What do you believe about these people that would have you not trust them?”

He answered: “Blacks are dangerous.”  (He used the word “Blacks”; I used the word “African-American.” Moreover, there probably were additional beliefs, but this was one the most relevant.)

I replied: “It’s clear that anyone with your belief would feel the way you do.  But you didn’t have that belief when you were a year or so old.  What happened that led you to that conclusion?”

“When I was 10 my dad took us to the gun cabinet and said we had his permission to kill a Black if he stepped on our property.  Areas, where Blacks lived, were very dangerous—a lot of crime and killing. The news was full of it.  Most of our friends had the same negative attitudes about Blacks.  I heard this constantly at home and at school. I also remember driving my car once and saw a Black man get into an accident that was clearly his fault.”

How prejudicial beliefs can be eliminated

I said to Chad: “Your belief about African-Americans—that they are dangerous—is one explanation for what you saw and heard as a child.  What else could the same events mean?”

Here’s what he answered:

“What my father and others said might have been true of some Blacks, but not all of them.”
“Some Blacks are … (almost anything) just like some whites are … (almost anything).”
“The behavior I heard came from Blacks is true of some people from every race, not just Blacks.”
“People I knew said that stuff because they believed it, but everything you hear isn’t always right.”

It was immediately clear to Chad that his beliefs about African-Americans were only one arbitrary interpretation of what he had heard about African-Americans as a child, and not the truth.

I then asked him: “Didn’t it seem as if you could see African-Americans are dangerous when your father and friends talked about the crime and the killings in African-American neighborhoods?”

“I did see it,” he replied.  “Anyone would have seen it.”
“Okay, if you could see it, tell me what does ‘African-Americans are dangerous’ look like,” I asked.
“Well, it looks like people getting robbed or killed in Black neighborhoods.”
“Yes,” I said, “you could see that, or hear people tell you about that.  But that fact could have a lot of different meanings.  You just gave me four of them.  I want to know what ‘African-Americans are dangerous’ looks like.”

After a moment’s reflection, he replied, “Now I understand what you mean. I can’t see ‘Blacks are dangerous’.  I just saw certain people saying things to me.  I guess I made up those beliefs about Blacks. That’s not reality.”

It was after this short interaction with me that Chad announced on national TV that his prejudice was gone.

The prejudice that exists today against Muslims, African-Americans, gays, or any other group is based on beliefs that are nothing more than arbitrary meanings we gave to a series of events (9/11, what we read in the newspaper, what we were told by parents, what lots of other people already believe, etc.).  The beliefs are not facts.  They are not the truth.


I’d love to hear from you with your thoughts about having and getting rid of prejudice.  Please write your comments below.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.

For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings, which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.

These weekly blog posts also exist as podcasts.  Sign up for the RSS feed or at iTunes to get the podcasts sent to you weekly.

 

Copyright © Morty Lefkoe

25 Comments

  1. Lapong Smith April 10, 2017 at 12:03 pm - Reply

    It’s this simple people are preyed on by slick politicians who spew propaganda just to get uneducated people to vote for them!! Especially years ago before tv or radio, but nowadays people have caught on to those slick politicians but still vote for the same party because of family tradition!! Just like some men are loyal to certain brands of trucks!! Like the one their parents had!!

  2. Wade Smith December 6, 2015 at 6:18 am - Reply

    I am amused by your comment “People who are convinced that African-Americans, or Muslims, or gays are not as good as them (usually white heterosexual Americans)”. As a white heterosexual American, I wonder from where in your background you trace this obvious prejudice?

  3. Nerfo September 27, 2014 at 4:40 pm - Reply

    Humans are irrational for the most part even though we have the largest brains of all animals, and consider ourselves the most intelligent species on earth. Just think about how humans want to rub everyone who looks good against their bodies or outright want to have them as in sex, for example. We are so used to this that it doesn’t off to us. It actually sounds so stupid once you start analyzing this particular aspect of human behavior. Or hording money and objects, for instance, followed by unbridled devastation of resources is considered an attractive attribute by humans and earns respect and recognition. . Doesn’t make any sense when phrased just a tad bit differently. This is the kind of life form we are dealing with. There are exceptions to this, of course. You can defy human nature

  4. Elnon September 27, 2014 at 4:18 pm - Reply

    Some people are prejudiced because they are desperate for value. They feel as if without the value they cannot be and have a decent life, and that people won’t be impressed by them. And impressing is something that is really crucial to these people because by impressing others, these people get what they want from others – sex, profit and other advantages. This phenomenon occurs as a result of millions of years of evolution.

    It’s normal to have biases against certain things, such as things that are destructive. Biases do stop people from doing wrong things. Thus, having biases against the right things that are wrong helps you discriminate between good and bad, right and wrong. For instance, if you’re biased against bad food that is unhealthy, you are more likely to eat healthy food, which is good for you. But when it comes to things like race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation and other superficial attributes, they are not uniformed and clean-cut, and can not serve as predictors of moral character. And you’re obviously not going to hang out with someone, who tried to kill you, for instance, just because or even if they are of the race you favor. Dissecting people by the superficial attributes is useless. It’s better to be around harmless people no matter who they are. It’s easier to forgive someone’s bad looks than a good-looking person’s abusive behavior, for instance.

    • Kristi December 4, 2017 at 12:12 am - Reply

      I am strugling with suddenly feeling predjudice towards African Americans at moments… and I have no idea why. Or maybe I do; my grandparents lived in Baton Rouge, LA and expressed “typical” predjudicial beliefs toward the African American women they employed in their household (although I know they felt great love toward the elderly woman who cleaned their house every week for years). My mother did not endorse or pass these beliefs on to me, however, and I don’t recall feeling any twinge of discomfort or dislike towards anyone of African American heritage (although I do remember a conversation between my grandmother and I when I was about 12 in which she expressed beliefs about the inferiority of an African American girl I had became friends with. It shocked me) until I was nearly 30… these feelings hit me suddenly, and I cannot attribute them to anything other than the depression and self-hate I felt toward myself at that time. I’ve since experienced them from time-to-time (I know I feel it more when I am feeling badly towards myself). I don’t hold a deep-seated belief that they are truly any different than I when I stop and query myself about what I believe, but then a feeling of dislike and discomfort will suddenly wash over me when I cross paths with someone who is younger and African American. I feel awful about it. This feeling is in fact driving me crazy and I can’t seem to reason it out… I know society has likely taught me this at some point even though my mother did not, but when and why did I suddenly come to start absorbing this belief? It is not true and I’m greatly aware that it is not but for some reason on some level I at times believe it. I really want it to go away, but I know that pushing it away or shoving it to some unreachable place within me will not work. – Thank you for your post Morty.

  5. Marion Claire May 11, 2011 at 11:24 am - Reply

    Hi, Morty!

    Removing prejudicial beliefs seems like a prime area for your Beliefs System work. Have you considered writing a book about it?

    • Morty Lefkoe May 11, 2011 at 11:30 am - Reply

      Hi Marion,

      Good to hear from you.

      Yes, this would be a good topic. I also want to put all my blog posts into a book at some point.

      Have a great day.

      Love, Morty

  6. Doug Cartwright May 5, 2011 at 1:13 pm - Reply

    Morty, I tried this a little earlier with an issue I’d had for years with a group of people that had bullied me when I was younger. I realised that because I had taken a few examples of bullying and generalised them out to the population of these people as a whole, my thoughts were stereotyping. As I realised that not ALL these people were problem causers the last vestiges of my prejudice vanished. I will keep thinking this over. Thanks.

  7. Ozie May 4, 2011 at 4:47 pm - Reply

    The competitive nature we have had imbred in us as Americans also has something to do with it. Once the idea of scarcity is suggested, therefore creating competition; the idea of there being a hierarchy of those on the bottom of the stack and those on the top serves to maintain a weird type of order if you can get everyone to buy into this. Unfortunately, it has been way too easy to get everyone to buy in without realizing they have bought in. Isn’t this simply “just the way it is?” Since this nasty is never questioned and never brought into the light of day it continues, like a plague, from generation to generation. It is only when someone drags this evil into the light and consciously questions it, is where growth is achieved. Sadly, even with your excellent method, it was far more efficient and easy to program the masses with this evil than it is to remove it.

  8. JenniferJ May 4, 2011 at 12:00 pm - Reply

    I’d like to point out that every day language when addressing subjects is very important and works remarkably well in removing our societally placed filters.

    In light of that, I’d like to respectfully correct your usage of “sexual preference” and ask you to use “sexual orientation”.

    Preference has nothing to do with it – just ask a straight person if he/she prefers a relationship with a person of the opposite gender or whether he/she innately requires it.

    The words we use communicate the meaning. The two cannot be separated. Whether we are addressing ethnicity, religious doctrine, or sexual orientation we need to be clear and correct.

    • Morty Lefkoe May 4, 2011 at 3:46 pm - Reply

      Hi Jennifer,

      Thanks for the correction. You are totally right.

      I will be more accurate the next time.

      Love, Morty

  9. NickM May 4, 2011 at 11:36 am - Reply

    I was wondering what you think s and how you find ‘the truth?’. Because you could say the same things (what does it look like) about anything. And if/when you hear a sound, what does that sound look like? Does it mean that the sound is less real because you can’t see it? Same with touch and feeling… What does energy look like? What does the wind look like? even though you can’t see them, they’re real and they’re there as well- but how do I know that? I can’t see them! so they’re not real? I dont’ think so morty!

    Science cannot be seen in your mind either. therefore do you feel that science isn’t real either? Or do you hold a separate belief about that?

    anyway, I am of one race. The human race. It is that we all come from one of two countries when we look at our ancestry. – africa or india and that can be reduced to one place as well.. ;o))

    anyway I would like your feedback on what ‘the truth’ is and how we can find it? I know from plato’s republic that the truth would hit us like a beam of light! – but what does this beam of light look like??? lol….

    cheers
    nick

    • Lauren May 4, 2011 at 12:25 pm - Reply

      As Morty says there is no one truth. Truth changes all the time. In the Indiana Jones movie, “Raiders of the Last Ark”, he is telling his archeology students the difference between truth and fact. He said, “If it’s truth you’re looking for, there’s a philosophy class down the hall.” As far as energy and light and sound, as well as our five senses, they are real, they do exist. Science literally means “knowledge”. Can you see knowledge? In his belief elimination program, he is referring to an interpretation of a reality that helped form a belief and not the reality itself. I’ve not seen anything where Morty questions the existence of the things you mention. But since you asked for feedback, I’ll offer this based on the elimination of my own limiting beliefs: The truth is that if everyone in the world eliminated the beliefs that cloud over our hearts and we express our unconditional love , there would be peace and love in the world.
      Love and Light on your Journey,
      Lauren

      • NickM May 5, 2011 at 6:22 am - Reply

        Thank you for the clear up. I believe that science greek episteme,- thus epistemology… is demonstrative and needs to have logical proofs, or ‘facts’ that either are true or are negative facts – not untrue but do not fit the facts… taken this way anything can be considered true,and thusly our beliefs are true as well…

        However, if you can’t see the truth, then how do you know anything at all? what is science if it is not a generalisation of rules that occur in nature?. and as so these are very much like if not beliefs!. Therefore as science is just a belief system that outlines nature and natural occurrences, we can firmly say that we cannot know science either…

        My point is also, that as we cannot see these other things you mention and yet they’re real, perhaps the same goes or our beliefs? and as far as science, then maybe we need to see what it looks like….

        and if you cannot see your beliefs doesn’t make them any less factual!…

        nick

        • Lauren May 5, 2011 at 9:45 am - Reply

          I see where you’re heading, Nick. Beliefs existing as an “entity” for lack of a clearer term is not a fact or as far as I’ve seen has not been est. as fact. Beliefs cannot just get into a person’s mind without an interpretation of a situation. And countless situations with a similar interpretation lead to such beliefs as “I’m not important” As far as a belief being in your mind, it is a fact it is in your mind. If you’re interested, Mike Hernacki wrote a book on the subject of thoughts becoming things called “Absolutely Everything You Want”. It was fascinating to me as well, though as far as the LBP, it’s irrelevant.
          Love and Light,
          Lauren

          • NickM May 5, 2011 at 10:23 am

            thank you for your reply Loren.But how do you know that you’re misrepresenting things? For instance, i could look at my skin and say ‘I’m white’, and that is a true belief justified on my skin color.However, I could also say that someone thinks they’re not important,because they are speaking without experience, and are speakingabout a technical subject that they know nothing of/about,wouldn’t it still be a true justified belief that what they have to say isn’t important? – because it isn’t their subject – they’re a layman…

            anyway, also, as to science, well that is aso belief. – taking interpretations from observed data.Isn’t this then, also unknowable? – science isn’t very scientific if we realise that it is our interpretations of data…or do we say in both cases that there are justified true beliefs dependant on what our subject matter have been?

            And to sum it up ‘just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you’…

            so you see just because you can’t see beliefs, that doesn’t mean that the logical picture that beliefs represent, are any less the truth of the matter!…

            peace, compassion,love & light for all life..

            nick

    • Morty Lefkoe May 4, 2011 at 3:45 pm - Reply

      Hi Nick,

      I didn’t say that you can see anything that exists. Clearly you can’t.

      In the process that eliminates beliefs, we ask people if it seems as if they could “see” their belief at the time it was formed. Visual people always say yes. But when you ask them to describe the belief, they realize they can’t see it, that it is only in their mind.

      Try the free belief-elimination process at http://recreateyourlife.com and you’ll see what I mean.

      Love, Morty

  10. Lauren May 4, 2011 at 9:34 am - Reply

    Morty,
    Interesting and always important topic. I grew up in a fairly homogenous community; in fact I didn’t see an African-American until I was nine years old! The Chinooks were the first inhabitants of the area around Willapa Bay, but they almost became a footnote. My mom talked in disparaging terms about the Native Americans which, curiously, I didn’t adopt. In fact, I married the grandson of her parents’ neighbors: his grandmother was 1/8 Chinook. My husband’s maternal grandmother was 100% Chinook, though in the early years of the 20th century when she was young, they claimed less because of the prejudice.
    All I care about is how a person is inside. I’m impatient as well with prejudice in the form of ethnicity, sexual orientation(my cousin is gay and it was never an issue when I was growing), and any other little thing that humans can dream up to separate themselves from others. Like my sister says, “People are the same” and I take this to mean that deep inside their is no “pre-judging”, just unconditional love. Culture seems to be a better indicator of a person’s belief systems; I have a friend who married an Iraqui who settled in the U.S. Nice enough guy until people started finding out he was beating her. I use a person’s backround as an indicator of how he views issues, not as a way of discriminating against them.
    Love and Light,
    Lauren

  11. Riley Harrison May 4, 2011 at 6:01 am - Reply

    Hi Morty,
    We all agree that prejudice is a bad thing. I do wonder where neuroscience weighs in on the ease in which one can alter one’s beliefs. Can a one-time application of an exercise actually rewire the brain sufficiently to eliminate prejudice? It would be interesting to see a MRI scan of the brain before and after the exercise.
    Riley

    • Morty Lefkoe May 4, 2011 at 3:40 pm - Reply

      Hi Riley,

      I’d love to do an MRI of people who have a fear of public speaking and then say there is no fear after eliminating 10 beliefs. But that is true for virtually any problem–prejudice, anxiety, worrying what people think of you, etc. When the beliefs that cause a problem are eliminated, the problem is too.

      Usually there are several beliefs that cause a problem.

      We have thousands of cases and three independent university studies to prove that. ANd what happens in the brain when beliefs and problems disappear? A great question!

      Love, Morty

  12. Justin | Mazzastick May 4, 2011 at 4:25 am - Reply

    I agree that prejudices are learned or modeled by parents or authority figures. I dislike generalizations of an entire race, culture, religions, orientations etc.

    I believe in the words of Martin Luther King, ” Judge a man by the content of his character and not the color of his skin”.

    I have witnessed and even experienced prejudices myself from people who look different than me. Prejudice and discrimination is a human problem that is learned as a defense mechanism for the self.

    It obviously can be un-learned as well. Since we live on a planet with so many different cultures, races, religions, orientations wouldn’t it be a wise move to rid yourself of this limiting behavior once and for all.

    • Morty Lefkoe May 4, 2011 at 3:37 pm - Reply

      Hi Justin,

      Thanks for your comment. Yes, prejudice can be “un-learned” and it will be great when a lot more people do just that.

      Love, Morty

  13. Deborah May 4, 2011 at 4:06 am - Reply

    Wow, how powerful! As an African.-American Muslim I thank you, for even elightening me. I would like to subscribe to your podcast.

    • Morty Lefkoe May 4, 2011 at 3:36 pm - Reply

      Hi Deborah,

      Glad you found my post enlightening.

      To subscribe, go to the top of the page (https://mortylefkoe.com).

      Love, Morty

  14. Heather Royle May 4, 2011 at 3:35 am - Reply

    Hi Morty
    I write poetry and often about humanitarian issues. The following is one I wrote in 2009 and I hope you enjoy it. It is about colour prejudice, as is your blog!

    PREJUDICE – THE TYRANT

    To rid earths tyrant prejudice from these earthly plains,
    Is the major lesson all mankind has yet to learn.
    It would be a true victory for all human beings
    To grasp when and who to accept and love, not spurn.

    Colour is emotive and strong – where people’s prejudices go wrong
    For no skin colour is better, more human or kind.
    Only the monsters of this planet earth
    Would like to continually change our mind.

    This issue is not too big to change world opinion,
    Or yet too small to overlook.
    It needs addressing now before totally prejudiced,
    We are left to ask “is this all that it took?”

    As all men are equal in colour and faith,
    Gauge only a mans soul for dark or light.
    Only perception chooses to see a difference in colour or race,
    With colour and creed nothing is clear cut as black and white.

    A pure homosapien, if stripped bare,
    Wears the colour of his skin, as but a cloak.
    Look beyond the cloak and you will see,
    It’s sometimes worn to deceive or provoke.

    Celestial beings are but colour blind –
    Only seeing pure light and not shades of white
    Or black mutations in ever changing hues
    Dressed to kill, thrill or not dressed at all right.

    How dark or light need we be to be a blessed free spirit?
    When is something truly black as black, or white as white?
    No true colour exists even in these two expressions –
    Nothing is ever as clear cut as black of night.

    Oh that we could be like a blind man relying on his emotions
    For he sees with his head and heart
    Not with his eyes, which can all but disguise
    The real good man, playing his lead part.

    Humanity as intended by any creator, is equal,
    Equal to the kinship of earths’ inhabitants as a whole,
    Albeit a small fraction of part of the universe,
    Seems to find tyrannical freedom, only in a pure unprejudiced soul.

    Written By Heather Royle – 27th August 2009

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