Part 3 of 4: Don’t challenge your beliefs

Is so.

Is not.

Is SO.

Is NOT.

Is SO!!!

IS NOT!!!

And on and on it goes.  When children argue they often keep restating their idea hoping that if they push hard enough they’ll get the other person to change.

How often does this work?

Almost never.

Yet some of us still use this same approach when trying to influence ourselves.  How many of us have had a thought or a belief that we’ve argued with?

Before I created the Lefkoe Belief Process to unlearn beliefs, I did what most people do: I tried arguing with the “little voice” that was always telling me what I couldn’t do.  The conversation sounded similar to the one little children have that I quoted above.

Me: I’m going to raise money for this project.

Little Voice: You’ll never raise the money.

Me:  There’s no reason why I can’t.  Others have raised money for projects that were nowhere near as good as this one.

Little Voice: Yeah, others can do it, but you can’t.

Me: Why can’t I?  I’m as smart as anyone else.  My ideas are as good as anyone else.

Little Voice:  Maybe so, but no matter how good your ideas are, you’ll never bring them to fruition.

Me: I can if I try hard enough.

Little Voice: No matter how hard you try, you won’t succeed.  Notice all the times you didn’t succeed in the past.

And the dialogue went on and on and on.

I’ve had many clients with a fear of public speaking who would try to convince themselves that people were not judging them, that they would not make a mistake and that they would not get fired if their speech were no good.

Guess how effective their self-pep talks were.

Not very.  That’s why they came to us for help.

They were making a classic mistake that most people make when trying to make changes in their lives.

They were challenging their beliefs.

Why is that a mistake?

Because when a mind has formed a conclusion, whether it’s yours or someone else’s, it resists being “wrong.”

So if I tell you that you’re wrong, how open will you be to hearing what I have to say?

But if I say, “Tell me more about how you arrived at your ideas,” I’ve invited you to join a conversation.  At that point you may be more likely to hear me out when I show you that there may be some other ways to look at things.

This way we bypass resistance.

But if challenging a belief directly doesn’t work, how do we change a belief?

You use a little mental Judo to bypass resistance that’s built into the Lefkoe Belief Process.

First, instead of asking, “Why do you believe that?”, which causes people to defend their belief, we ask, “What events led to your belief?”  When we get an answer we mention how it made sense to form the belief based on those events.

Second, we don’t try to prove that another belief would have been better to form.  We only show that there are other interpretations of the same events that you weren’t aware of at the time, but that you can recognize now.  We never say that these other interpretations are right or better, only that they are alternatives.  Their purpose is to show the mind that the original belief is one of many ways of seeing the events.

Third, we have you rely on your own experience instead of mental interpretations.  When we ask, “Did you really see your belief?”, we are asking you to look at your experiences of the real world and we are shifting your focus from how your mind interpreted events to looking at the events themselves.

Your mind can always come up with  more reasons to believe your belief but it cannot ignore the fact that the belief was never out in the physical world to be seen, touched, tasted or heard.

Fourth, instead of trying to find the “right” meaning, which your mind can then argue with, we help you see that all meanings exist only in the mind.  Events have no inherent meaning. Once the mind gets this, there is nothing for it to argue against or resist.  It can just rest in knowing that events are events and it doesn’t have to prove things one way or the other.

When you go through the entire belief-unlearning process you’ll more often than not find that your belief is no longer there.  If you say the belief out loud it’ll feel like empty words.

And part of the reason our process is so effective is that it doesn’t push you.  Like I said, it’s mental Judo: it sidesteps resistance and redirects your mind to the simple truth that events have no meaning, instead of confronting your belief head on.

Imagine what it would be like to unlearn each of your beliefs using such a gentle and effective approach … one that works with your mind instead of against it.

You might find yourself slowly but surely removing the barriers to success, fulfillment and happiness.

Fortunately, you don’t have to just imagine it.  We’ve created a digital program that helps you unlearn the 19 beliefs that hold most people back from a fulfilling life.

These beliefs get rid of your fear, self-doubts and hesitation about taking actions that will improve your life and benefit others.

The program is called Natural Confidence because it helps you regain that state of confidence that very young children have before they learn any limiting beliefs.

To see what it’s all about click the link below:

http://recreateyourlife.com/store/natural-confidence.php

Love,

Morty

Creator of The Lefkoe Method

P.S. If you do try the program, please let me know how it goes for you.  I want to make sure that everyone that tries it has a positive experience.