The two hidden mistakes that prevent beliefs from going away
One reason so many people are able to learn to ride a bike is because it’s always immediately clear when you’re not riding well.
How do you know your balance is off?
You can feel it.
How do you know when you didn’t steer wide enough for that turn?
You crash.
But with The Lefkoe Method it’s possible to make a mistake and not know about it right away. In fact, you might not know about it until 20 minutes later when you ask the person you’re working with, “Is that belief still there?”
And if they say yes, you’ll have to figure out what went wrong so you can make sure the person gets rid of the belief.
Well, today I’m going to show you the part of the process in which people most often make mistakes without realizing it — Alternative Interpretations.
I’ll show you two of the common errors and how to avoid making them.
That way you’ll know when the bike you’re riding is a bit wobbly so you can regain your balance before it falls.
What are alternative interpretations?
Alternative interpretations are other ways of interpreting the events that led to a belief, which, if they were true, the original belief could not also be true.
I call this the exclusionary principle.
For example Darren had the belief “I’m not good enough.”
Here are the events that led to his belief:
When Darren was a kid his parents always told him that he wasn’t working hard enough at his chores, that he “missed a spot” and they always pointed out something he did that wasn’t completely correct.
One alternative interpretation is “Darren’s parents thought his performance at his chores was not good enough, but not necessarily that he as a person was not good enough.”
Notice that if this alternative interpretations was THE truth the original belief “I’m not good enough” could not also be true.
Now that you know the exclusionary principle you know what it takes to identify useful alternative interpretations.
But what happens that causes people to come up with ineffective alternative interpretations?
What are the common alternative interpretations mistakes?
First, coming up with alternative interpretations without a full understanding of how the source lead to the belief.
This leads people to finding alternative interpretations that sound like they fit because they are similar to alternative interpretations you may have heard for other beliefs, but they are wrong because they don’t fit the source.
For example, imagine you have a client who has the belief, “I’m powerless.” As a child he was led to this conclusion by the fact that his parents tried to make all his choices for him.
They even tried to control what toys he played with.
Here’s some alternative interpretations a facilitator came up with. See if you can tell which one is wrong.
- You were powerless then but that doesn’t mean you will always be powerless.
- You were powerless to control things at home but not necessarily in all places.
- Your parents thought you were powerless but they were wrong.
Take a moment to consider each of these alternative interpretations to see which one is flawed.
…
If you chose number three as the ineffective alternative interpretations you would be correct.
So let’s take a look at what’s wrong with it.
This alternative interpretation says “Your parents thought you were powerless but they were wrong.” This alternative interpretation doesn’t work because it does not address the real source of the belief.
The source of the belief is the fact that the child didn’t have much choice in what he was doing. His parents made the choices for him.
His parents could have made these choices for him whether they thought he was powerless or not.
So it’s crucial that you understand what it is about the source of a belief that leads to someone forming a belief. This allows you to come up with effective alternative interpretations and avoid coming up with ineffective alternative interpretations.
The second habit that gets in the way of coming up with effective alternative interpretations is thinking that two beliefs that have the same source also have the same interpretations.
For example, one client believed “What I have to say is not important.” He also believed “People aren’t interested in what I have to say.”
The source of both of these beliefs was that his parents would often dismiss what he said. They never listened to his ideas or showed very little interest when they did listen.
Both beliefs seem to be about the same thing and they both have the same source, so the alternative interpretations should be the same, right?
Wrong.
Here’s two alternative interpretations for, “What I have to say is not important.”
- My parents thought what I had to say was not important, but they could have been wrong.
- As a kid what I had to say was not important, but that doesn’t mean it would be true when I was an adult.
Let’s see if we can use both of these for “People aren’t interested in what I have to say.”
The first one “My parents thought what I had to say was not important, but they could have been wrong,” doesn’t work because it doesn’t address “all people” as this belief does.
For an effective alternative interpretations we’d need to say, “My parents weren’t interested in what I have to say, but that might not be true of all people.”
The second alternative interpretation does work for the second belief.
So now you know two common ways facilitators come up with ineffective alternative interpretations and how to avoid these errors.
To sum up
First, always keep in mind the Exclusionary Principle. If the original belief could still be true then what you have is NOT an effective alternative interpretations.
Second, one way to keep from using ineffective alternative interpretations is to know what part of the source is most important in leading to a given belief. Is it the parent’s behavior, the consequences in the world or something else.
Third, don’t get fooled into using the same alternative interpretations for beliefs that are about the same topic and have the same source. Some of the same alternative interpretations will work on both beliefs and some will not.
In the three lessons I’ve sent you over the last few weeks, I’ve discussed the first three of the eight steps of the Lefkoe Belief Process and some of what can go wrong when using each step, so you can better help yourself and others eliminate beliefs.
Now, you may be wondering, with so many things that can go wrong in just the first three steps, how can I possibly master all the steps of the Lefkoe Belief Process?
You can do that when you take the Lefkoe Method Training 1: The Belief Elimination Process.
This is the point at which the online equivalent of a used car salesman would try selling you their magic system that will make it all so easy.
Learn to climb Mt. Everest in 9 easy steps.
Run a marathon by training just minutes a day.
With my new method you can grow wings and fly.
Let me tell you something.
I won’t do that.
Learning something new is hard. Bottom line. That’s just a fact.
If something was so easy or could be made to be super-easy, then everyone would do it.
Remember Fen-Phen? It was a miracle drug heavily marketed in the 90’s that made people lose weight.
Clinics that sold it couldn’t keep enough on hand. It was that good.
And it’d still be around too if it didn’t also cause heart and lung problems.
So it was taken off the shelves by the FDA.
But here’s my point.
If someone finds a miracle cure that’s easy, cheap and quick then everyone who wants it will get it and it may even be featured on the nightly news like Fen-Phen was.
It’ll spread like wildfire.
What we have to teach you is very effective. It can produce rapid changes. But it’s nowhere near as easy as swallowing a pill.
It takes time.
Even the best facilitator will take up to 10 hours spread over several weeks to help a client get rid of their major patterns.
And it’s not cheap.
If you decide to offer this as a service in the future, you won’t be charging $10 an hour. Our facilitators charge $200 an hour.
Why do I tell you all this?
I don’t want to give you the misconception that by joining us for training you will learn a miracle cure.
You will not.
You will be learning an approach that has helped thousands of people produce lasting change.
For some the changes came with little effort and just a 3 or 4 hours.
For others eliminating each belief was very difficult and they required up to 21 hours with a facilitator.
Here’s my point …
This is not a magic pill. It requires work. Work on your part. Work on the part of whomever you are helping.
So don’t believe the magic that others try to sell you.
Real change requires real work.
If you’re ready for that, then we’re ready to teach you.
We will be offering the Lefkoe Method Training 1 starting tomorrow at 5am Eastern Time. It teaches you how to eliminate limiting beliefs of your own or others.
This course will be limited to 30 people due to the amount of personal attention we give. So make sure to check your inbox for an email from us tomorrow.
We look forward to teaching you how to eliminate beliefs and change lives.
