What’s the two-word question that keeps you from taking action?
On October 15, 1999 Nicholas White was working at the McGraw Hill Building in New York City. He was expecting an uneventful evening. He went to the bottom floor to smoke. Then he took the express elevator to the 43rd floor. Or at least he tried to.
That elevator skips floors 1-39. But at around floor 13, something went wrong.
The elevator stopped.
He looked around for an emergency phone and there was none. After a few hours he got desperate and climbed out of the emergency hatch. All he saw were concrete walls.
He wasn’t released until a security guard, watching the elevator’s video, noticed him sleeping on the elevator floor. Then a crew of mechanics was sent to rescue him.
That was an exhausting 41 hours later.
Like Nicholas white we can all get stuck from time to time. Sometimes we are stuck for a few days putting off an important decision. At other times we are stuck for years avoiding actions that we know would make our lives better.
Why do we do get stuck? Why do we avoid doing what we truly want?
The answer lies in our wonderful human brain.
The most powerful brain of all the animals we know.
It can do amazing things. It can build skyscrapers. It can send people to the moon. It can discover invisible creatures just under our noses.
But there is a dark side.
The human brain is often blind to its own limitations.
We can experience fear when there is no danger.
Anger when there is no threat.
Depression when we have much to live for.
Stress, suffering and underachievement seem to be at an all time high in today’s world. And people who free themselves from limitations can help make the world a better place.
That’s why there is no better time than now to start learning how to have a quiet mind.
That’s why we often need special techniques to overcome our limitations.
And that’s why I’ll show you a simple process to overcome one of those limitations now.
The limitations caused by fear.
I’ll help you overcome the two-word question that often produces fear so you can do those things you really want to do. Those things that really matter to you and inspire you.
What’s this two-word question?
What if…?
People constantly ask:
What if I don’t get what I want?
What if it doesn’t work out?
What if I fail?
What if people don’t like me?
These “what ifs” sabotage your life because they keep you from taking action.
How do “what if” questions keep me from taking action?
“What if” has the effect it does because it is an “occurring.”
An occurring is the meaning your mind gives an event in the moment.
And occurrings gain their power to control your behavior and emotions because the mind thinks it’s seeing reality, when really it’s only seeing meaning in the mind.
But “what if” is only the tip of the iceberg.
You see, “what if” is more than a question.
It’s a trap that’s as confining as the four walls of an elevator.
When a person tries to answer that question, they create more occurrings to get in their way.
Here are a few examples:
What if I set up an online business and it fails?
Answer: I’ll be a failure.
What if I give a speech and everybody hates it?
Answer: They’ll judge me and reject me.
What if I tell her how I feel about her?
Answer: She’ll reject me and I’ll be humiliated and alone.
What if I try this new process Shelly has shown me and it fails?
Answer: I’m an idiot
You see, your answer to every “what if” produces new occurrings that cause fear and stress, which block you from taking action.
And just like other occurrings, you can dissolve these using the same process I revealed to you earlier.
Let’s revisit the first one I just mentioned which was written by Chiraag.
Seeing how he used the process will help you see how to apply the steps to dissolve your own “What ifs.”
His, what if, was: “What if I set up an online business and it fails?”
1. First, he noticed he was feeling fear when he thought about setting up his online business.
Remember that step 1 is identifying a negative feeling.
2. Then, he noticed the meaning his mind made that produced the fear.
In this case it’s his answers to the “what if” question.
His mind asked “What if I can’t do this? What if it’s too complicated for me? What if I can’t make the time?”
His answer to the questions could be summed up in one sentence: “If I start this and don’t succeed, I means I’m a failure.” Remember that step 2 is identifying the meaning that is causing the feeling.
3. Next he identified the event in reality, in other words, what actually was happening.
He was searching online for information on how to set up an online business and found ideas that had many steps to them.
4. He came up with alternative ways of interpreting the events.
One of his interpretations was: If I start this, I will probably experience difficulties but can overcome them like I have past difficulties.
5. He made the distinction between the events and the meaning in his mind.
He realized the idea that he would be a failure if his business did not succeed existed only in his mind.
6. Finally, he looked inside to see if the feeling dissolved.
Here’s what he said when it was all over: “I no longer think about failing. The feeling I have now is one of strength and wanting to do things. I am excited about learning and creating something.”
How do you keep “what ifs” from stopping you?
To keep “what if” thinking from stopping you, develop the habit of identifying the “what ifs” and, instead of suppressing or denying them as most people do. Instead, really look at them.
First, answer your “what if” question to find your occurrings.
Second, follow the four steps to dissolving an occurring I just gave you.
Remember the “what if” question is itself an occurring, as are all the answers to the “what if” question.
They are all meanings, not actual events in reality.
When you dissolve all the occurrings, you’ll find that your “what ifs” no longer have the power to limit you. Pretty cool, eh?
This is what happened to Lauren a student of ours who wanted to write fiction but kept distracting herself from writing every day.
Her “what if” was: “What if what I write is lousy?”
That was the meaning she gave to the simple act of sitting down to write a story.
And when she answered that question, her answers were additional occurrings:
“It will mean I’m stupid. I’m not competent. People will think poorly of me.”
She not only used the technique I’ve shown you to dissolve all her occurrings about writing, but also she used it so often that it ultimately became automatic.
Here’s how it affected her writing, in her own words.
“As a result of getting rid of the writing block that came from my occurring, I am now writing everyday; I am using Jerry Cleaver’s book, Immediate Fiction, to learn what I need to write the fantasy and science fiction I want to publish. The ideas are bubbling over and I have five or six ideas I plan to explore further and develop into books or short stories. I had planned to return to college, but I have decided to explore writing at least for the next year. Eliminating the block gave me the confidence to sit and write, knowing I can learn what I need to further my skills. In fact I bought the book I mentioned above about a year ago and felt intimidated about my ability to learn the skills. And now, when I sit down to write, I am eager to see what pops up instead of dreading it as I experienced before.”
Dissolving her occurring whenever she sat down to write not only allowed her to dissolve her fear, but, even more importantly, it enabled her to take action to make her dreams come true.
Dissolving your occurrings regularly can do the same for you. (Pause)
In fact, you can even dissolve any occurrings that would keep you from using this process.
How many times have most of us learned something that seemed promising but failed to follow through on it?
If you’re like most people it’s probably happened more than once or twice.
Why does that happen?
It’s because of our occurrings.
It’s possible to have occurrings that keep you from even trying this process or from trying again if at first you don’t get the exact results you wanted.
Here’s how one person who experienced difficulty getting started with this process overcame it.
When I first heard that I have to do this assignment, I felt what I would describe as a mix of aversion and anxiety.
In my head I had: I can do something wrong here. I may give an answer that is not really helpful.
I was inclined to turn away.
After dissolving these meanings I was free and happy to explore in the direction of further investigating and writing this.
I feel more focused now than in a long time.
–Sebastian
He used the LFP to overcome his resistance to using the LFP.
And if you find yourself resisting it or just wanting to put it off you can do the same.
You can look inside and discover the “what if” that might keep you from even starting.
“What if I fail?” “What if I do it wrong?” “What if it doesn’t work for me?”
We can all get stuck from time to time in the prison of our own thoughts just as Nicholas White was stuck in an elevator for 41 hours.
But unlike White, we don’t need a crew of mechanics to save us.
We can save ourselves by noticing what the mind is doing and then dissolving meaning using the steps of the Lefkoe Freedom Process.
So to sum up, if you find yourself not taking action on something important to you, look inside and discover the “what if” question you may be asking.
Then answer the question.
Finally, use the steps of the Lefkoe Freedom Process to dissolve the meanings that are holding you back.
And you can even use the Lefkoe Freedom Process to dissolve your resistance to using the Lefkoe Freedom Process.
I’m including the steps in brief below.
First, notice some action that you’ve been avoiding.
It could be anything from going to the gym to calling someone on the phone or creating plans for something you want or need to do.
Second, see if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way.
“What if I fail?” “What if it’s too hard?” “What if I’m too tired?”
Third, find the occurrings relating to those “What if’s” by answering the “What if” questions.
Your answers to these questions are additional occurrings.
Fourth, notice the reality of the situation.
What’s really happening? Right now.
Fifth, come up with 3-4 alternative ways of interpreting those events.
Sixth, distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings — the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind.
Seventh, take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not.
Use this process on something that’s uncomfortable for you right now.
It will help you to feel better as well as take action.
Please write in to let me know how you do with these exercises especially if you have any trouble with them.
You can email us at occurring@lefkoeinstitute.com
