It is possible to get rid of your stress.

“Yeah, sure,” you might say. “And how exactly am I supposed to get rid of all the stressful things in my life?”

Here’s how I answered that question for myself.

I was filled with anxiety for most of my life. I worried about what people thought of me, I was worried about not having enough money, and I worried about my mother who was having a difficult time after divorcing my father when I was three. If worry causes stress, I was overwhelmed with stress from the time I was a child.

My way of dealing with the “things that were causing stress in my life” could be summed up in the phrase I uttered at least several times a day for the first 20 years of my life: “I can’t wait until I grow up and then I’ll be able to ….” My life was always focused on changing my circumstances some day so that the anxiety would go away and I would be happy.

After many years of therapy, workshops, and self-help books the stress had lessened somewhat, and I was coping with my difficult circumstances better, but I was still trying to change what was happening in my life to gain happiness. I noticed that I was now in my 40s and I still hadn’t managed to change things enough to make me happy and relieve my constant stress.

It was only after I started using a belief-eliminating process I had created that I realized that the stress was not coming from what was happening, but from the meaning I was placing on what was happening. Once I was able to change the meaning, the stress literally disappeared.

For example, before I married my current wife Shelly (to whom I have now been married for 26 glorious years), I had been married twice before. Neither relationship worked very well or lasted very long. Most of my married life with these two women was very stressful. At the time, I blamed my wives and said all I needed to do was to find the right woman, in other words, change my circumstances.

So I tried it for the third time, hopefully with the “right” woman. Unfortunately, right after we got married I noticed the stress was still there.

About that time I started looking for and eliminating the beliefs that were causing the problems in my life. One problem was that I was incredibly needy. I actually believed that I couldn’t survive without a woman in my life who loved me. That belief led me to place so much pressure on my wives that our relationships were constantly stressful. Once I eliminated that belief and a bunch of others (most importantly, what makes me good enough and important is having people like me and think well of me), the neediness stopped. And when the neediness stopped, and when a bunch of negative beliefs about myself were gone and I realized I was loveable and worthy of being loved, my relationship with my current wife transformed.

The same person and the same circumstances, but instead of trying to get my sense of okeyness from my marriage, I brought my sense of okeyness to my marriage. It made all the difference in the world. And the stress was gone.

I’m reminded of a news story I read in the mid-1990s when a lot of middle-level managers were losing their jobs. The article interviewed a number of these out-of-work people. Some of them were very stressed, worrying about making ends meet. Some of them, however, were very happy and seemed to exhibit no stress at all.

People in this latter group experienced being fired as an opportunity to do something they had always wanted to do and had never done because they were “stuck” in their jobs. They either created one-person consulting firms, opened some type of retail store, or went back to school and changed professions entirely.

If losing your job means you will never find another way to make money, you will be stressed. If losing your job means you can now do something even more nurturing and satisfying, you will be excited about the same event.

You see, events don’t have any inherent meaning. Circumstances don’t mean anything until you give them a meaning … and one meaning can be stressful while another might be enlivening. Stress is caused by the meaning we give to events-which in turn is caused by our negative beliefs and feelings about ourselves, people, and the world we live in. The beliefs can easily be eliminated with the Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP) and the feelings with the Lefkoe Stimulus Process (LStimP).

Imagine that you are about to undertake an important project and have the beliefs: “I don’t think I can do it. I think I will fail and failure is bad” How do you feel? … You’d feel stress-and would blame the project for causing the stress. Now imagine the same project, but this time you have the beliefs: “I’m competent. I know I’ll do a great job. And if I don’t my results don’t mean anything about who I am.” How do you feel now? … Notice that the project is no longer causing stress.

The following is a list of some beliefs that clients complaining of stress have identified and eliminated. Can you see that anyone with beliefs such as these probably would experience stress?

Say each of the following beliefs out loud. If any of them resonate with you, it’s probably a belief you hold. Even though you may have held it since you were a child, and even if you’ve tried a number of ways to get rid of it, you can get rid of it using the right approach. I had many of these myself and eradicated them all.

“If I fail it means I’m stupid.”
“I’m not competent.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“Nothing I do is good enough.”
“I’ll never get what I want.”
“Mistakes are bad.”
“If I make a mistake it means I’m bad and stupid.”
“Life is difficult.”
“People can’t be trusted.”
“I’m powerless.”
“I have no control over my life.”
“I don’t measure up.”
“The unknown is scary.”
“If I do something wrong, something terrible will happen.”

Assume that you didn’t have these or any other related beliefs. Imagine, instead, that you believed, “There is no such thing as failure; everything is merely a learning experience.” And, “I’m fine just the way I am; I don’t have to do anything to be okay and accepted by others.” Would you still be likely to experience as much stress as you do now?

Most of the techniques commonly used to deal with stress focus on how to better cope with stress after we experience it. For example, meditation, deep breathing, and visualizations can sometimes alleviate it for the moment. Our work, on the other hand, assists people to totally eliminate their stress (or not even get it in the first place) by getting rid of the beliefs that cause it.

One client, a psychotherapist who lived with constant stress, described how the Lefkoe Belief Process helped her overcome it.

“At my first session with Shelly Lefkoe I told her: ‘I’m overwhelmed. I’m confused. Scattered. I’m not focused. All over the place. I can’t organize. Frightened by competition. It keeps me from being successful. There is an emptiness I have to fill. I feel anxious and stressed all the time.’

“Shelly helped me eliminate a number of beliefs, after which my life changed dramatically. Today I have a grounded sense of confidence. I enjoy life more. I feel better about who I am. I now believe I am worthy of being taken seriously. Unlike what my mother used to say, ‘No one could take you seriously,’ I know I have much to offer people.

“The emptiness is gone. I have an inner joy. I accept what I can do and have confidence that I can do it. It doesn’t matter what others are doing. The other guy is not such a threat anymore. Finally, I have a sense of poise in the world that I lacked before. I used to be seen as this naive, wimpy type. I don’t think that’s what I project any more. I project a stronger image. I’m someone I’m happy to be. The anxiety and stress are gone.”

As I said when I started this post, it is possible to get rid of your stress. I’ve done it and I know a lot of others who have too. Change the meaning you are giving to the events in your life by changing your beliefs, and you, too, will see your stress melt away like ice cream on a hot summer day.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using The Lefkoe Method, go to htp:// where you can eliminate one belief free.

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  1. kelvin September 10, 2011 at 9:41 am - Reply

    i really appreciate your
    efforts keep it up

  2. Anja Walter-Ris May 6, 2009 at 4:37 pm - Reply

    Dear Morty,
    Your method is amazing and I am almost through the whole program. The changes in my life are tangible and plain incredible. I am very grateful to you!

    Below you can see what I shared with my American “Inspirational Email” Group (around 65 people):

    “So here it comes… short and sweet.

    I´d like to share with you an extremely effective method to dissolve negative beliefs. The founder Morty Lefkoe allows people to try it out with four of the big beliefs that usually hinder us to live our full potential:
    I am not good enough
    I am not important
    Mistakes and Failure are bad
    I´m not capable
    You can sample this amazing method and enjoy immediate results for free by going to:

    This is not an affiliate link. I don´t get anything form recommending this to you. It is just so mind-bogglingly effective that I´ve got to share it with you.

    I use it in my work with my clients and for myself – Lefkoe offers a program in which one can dissolve 19 beliefs and 4 major conditionings, like the fear of being criticized and judged, which yes, costs something, but is very cheap compared to the results and there is a payment plan. So just to let you know about that, too.

    But just eliminating the four mentioned above will certainly already make a big difference in your life. It has for me, and my clients.

    I have searched for effective means to get rid of negative programming and beliefs for more than 20 years, and this is, together with EFT, the by far most easy, fast, effective and successful way to do it.

    So please, don´t pass this opportunity up just because it is free or you seem to be too busy.

    It´s like with this old story told by Franklin Covey in his „7 Effective Habits of Highly Successful People“: When you´re sawing a tree, you´ve got to take a break here and there to sharpen the saw, and it will be so much easier to continue afterward again.

    Being free of those beliefs that to some degree, in some area of our lives, we all hold – even the most successful people – is like being lifted from carrying around heavy bricks in one´s heart and solar plexus, and on one´s shoulders and head.

    Don´t believe me. Just see for yourself.

    The freedom and ease gained allows to confidently enter new paths to new success and fulfillment – which in our current economic situation is also quite a useful thing.

    Let me know how you liked it (and Morty Lefkoe would certainly appreciate this, too, on his blog:

    I wish you much fun and relief with the Lefkoe Method.

    Question of the Month:
    „What if I am not what my negative beliefs seem to prove?“”–

    To you and your wife, Morty!
    I would love to talk with you about how I can help you spread your method in Germany, where I now live and work as a life coach.

    With best wishes,
    Dr. Anja Walter-Ris
    Artemis Coaching

  3. Monique April 18, 2009 at 10:54 pm - Reply

    Thank you Morty & Shelly,

    It would have been wonderful if I would have been open to, & had the opportunity to, access this amazing exercise many years ago. At the same time, I am still relatively young & it is never too late, so I am looking forward to a time where I will have eliminated all 19 beliefs through your incredible process.

    I appreciate you both; Morty & Shelly, for providing such an important tool for helping people to live better, happier lives.

  4. Shirley Berry April 15, 2009 at 10:18 am - Reply

    Morty, I have tried two of your belief eliminating programs with great success. Thank you! I look forward to doing more at a future date.

  5. Shirley Berry April 15, 2009 at 9:30 am - Reply

    Morty, A heartfelt thank you! These ideas are not new to me, however your exploration of the subject and presentation helped me to “experience” the belief forming process in a way that was non-threatening and very liberating. So simple. So brilliant! I am grateful for the experience. Thank you!

  6. Loveeta April 15, 2009 at 7:53 am - Reply

    Thanks, Morty,
    At 54 I’ve figured out some of my beliefs and where they came from, childhood poverty (don’t ask; you can’t have it); and others. I’ve made progress, and this really helps. I’ve let some of my worrying go….I can always worry later; it’s not helpful to worry! And separating ME from my thoughts; that’s still a struggle, but…what a wonderful concept! thanks again.

  7. Sibel April 15, 2009 at 3:13 am - Reply

    Hello Everybody,
    Well I can say that this script is totally my taste.. I used to struggle a lot in life ( till 2007) but after i discovered the secret of life which is our dominant thoughts,
    my whole life has changed and still changing.. It doesn’t happen in a finger snap time period and takes a time like a seed transforming to a plant…Give attantion, give care, love.. So let’s be patient and eliminate our old beliefes ( old baggages) and visiulize a new you in the mind and stick on to it and watch the miracle happen while feeling the joy and the happiness around you.. It is important to hold the idea in your mind untill it manifests.. So, stick on to it and 100% have the faith that you own it already.. Even it is not in your physical world yet.. Whatever the thing you want in life will be yours.. Like attracts like.. Hope this was clear enough.. I have this state of mind and it works!!!! xxx

  8. Robert Litjens April 6, 2009 at 2:35 pm - Reply

    Thanks for your emailed response mortey

    [[[=====>>>>> No beliefs are mistakes. Beliefs either produce positive (useful) or negative (not useful) results. If positive results, don’t worry about the beliefs. If negative results, find and eliminate the beliefs.<<======]]]]

    I see that you are saying to see beliefs more in terms of effectiveness in getting what we want rather than as being right, wrong, or mistakes in thinking…

    Yes I see the value in approaching it like that.

    Perhaps the biggest value in that approach (from a personal development pov)…. is that it is saying it is okay to dump what we believe… it is okay to have ‘got-it-wrong’… NO belief is sacred enough to hold on to at all costs…


  9. Bonnie April 5, 2009 at 7:43 pm - Reply

    I tried to use the free belief site but could not get to the bottom under my info to choose a belief or for it to accept my information. Not sure what the problem is.

  10. Betty Smith March 31, 2009 at 8:11 pm - Reply

    Morty… Your article is simply excellent. I came out of child
    hood with I couldn’t do it right. Thanks for sharing what you
    have learned. I to am in the process of sharing what I learned
    after I cried out to God that I wanted things to change regardless
    of how much it cost me. In my wildest imagination I would have never come up with the answer to that prayer. In essence spirit said to me you want change in your life then feel your feelings and speak and write from the truth of your own experience.
    In The Power To Change, The Shadow Side of Idealism I am sharing what I learned.
    Betty L. Smith

  11. Robert Litjens March 31, 2009 at 4:40 pm - Reply

    ONE area I find important to look into… that as you point out.. has caused grief in your own life… is beliefs around NEEDINESS

    because often it involves handing control to something/someone outside of ourself and as you point out will leave us stressed to the max IF we continue to hold mistaken beliefs around that.

    The catch22 is that

    we DO need to hand control over to others at some point… because no person is an island… and the REALITY is we get far more done when we go beyond what we are on our own every 86,400 seconds…

    We can clearly observe stress happen when
    when we allow even a MERE thought of NOT getting our need met engage us… AND subsequently try to micromanage anything and everything outside and around us to stop that need from not getting met..

    The mere thought of having to feel the feeling around
    “I’m not competent.”
    “I’m not good enough.”
    “Nothing I do is good enough.”
    “I’ll never get what I want.”
    “Mistakes are bad.”
    “If I make a mistake it means I’m bad and stupid.”
    “Life is difficult.”
    “People can’t be trusted.”
    “I’m powerless.”
    “I have no control over my life.”
    “I don’t measure up.”
    “The unknown is scary.”
    FREAKS us out

    So there will be beliefs the we ‘should’ have… and beliefs that cause us endless unnecessary stress…

    So the questions include
    (i) What beliefs are mistakes.. what beliefs should we stop engaging in… eliminate?
    (ii) What beliefs are useful… that would perhaps have us “resign” earlier… and save us time, energy, effort? In other words beliefs that will ‘pick-the-mistake’ earlier, sooner


    (iii) Should we drop all beliefs that cause stress… and just accept that we will spill lots of milk and just push on, and adapt rather than bother with perfecting ‘beliefs’ around better ‘foresighting’?

    ASIDE: I need to add that I (believe) stress is okay… but don’t see any point in stressing unnecessarily… I don’t (believe) stress itself kills us… I (believe) its more the endless replays… the “never ending” crazy 8’s… that are held in place by mistaken, faulty belief.. that if NOT let go (stress) will simply stack up in our bodies (tensions) and kill us. So it makes sense to drop or modify faulty belief that have us do unnecessary stress… and to sharpen belief to minimise negative impact of non avoidable stress.

  12. kathy March 31, 2009 at 1:52 pm - Reply

    My friend Virginia told me something it’s working miracles for me has changed everything, what she told me was think of your stress (it has come from worry gone unresolved) we have worry for a reason, to let us know something needs to be fixed- left unattended it becomes like a “ball of yarn” just start unraveling it and looking at the problems fixing one at a time-or more if you can handle it. “At the same time as doing this” start counting your blessings “however small” think of atleast one thing you are greatful for each day, if you run out of things this is actually good as we’ll need to think up new ones which is the idea/keeping our mind focused on posotive things, which is the only way we can succeed at anything through (posotive) thinking/thoughts; because with negativity filling our mind we self defeat making it impossible to solve problems (as we see no light at the end of the tunnel. Here’s some ideas to get you going re things to be thankful for. As per; Virginias idea, do you have 10 fingers that don’t hurt, well even if they hurt she had an Aunt who had to have finger amputated as a result of diabetese, and even though didn’t see her for while after that says she feels it probably didn’t end there. “Think!” We all have things to be thankful for. to recieve inspirational e-mails please write inspiration in subject line. Here’s a sample

    You have got to see this-you’ll love it – THIS IS GREAT!

    Subject: The Bridge

    Life is what you make it,, so make it great.

    You have got to see this-you’ll love it – THIS IS GREAT!

    Subject: The Bridge

  13. Robert Schwenk March 31, 2009 at 1:27 pm - Reply

    Marty: You never cease to amaze me. Stuff that was an “undiscovered country” in my life, you have found and made known to people–to help me and them grow. Wow! Thanks! Your ideas are at the same time simple and deeply profound–change the meaning of events in one’s life and cahnge one’s life.

  14. Mike Hildenbrand March 31, 2009 at 7:40 am - Reply

    I concur, however it is eliminating the beliefs that poses the challenge. I have tried working with affirmations to eradicate limiting beliefs at the root of my stress, however they haven’t worked very well. Any other suggestions?

    • admin May 6, 2009 at 4:51 pm - Reply

      Hi Mike,
      Affirmations don’t eliminate beliefs. Try using The Lefkoe Method at You can eliminate one belief free and see that the belief really does go away.
      Regards, Morty

  15. James March 31, 2009 at 6:32 am - Reply

    Hi Morty. I got to your Blog through the email you sent to me. I tried your free belief-elimination program. As far as I’m concerned It’s done something and I am willing to try some more. Anyone who feels they have problems should try it, no matter how cynical they are, they may just improve life for themselves. Jim

  16. Craig M. Boyle March 31, 2009 at 6:30 am - Reply

    I found that helpful. I feel my biggest stress is watching my wife be stressed. I am not sure what believe I have in relationship to her that is causing this, but I feel if I can first handle that I would be more effective in helping her deal with her stress.
    What do you think?

  17. phil watson March 31, 2009 at 6:20 am - Reply

    Hi Morty, just shows how good your programs are, I used your recreate your life program, and having done that and bust your money beliefs, which you kindly sent me as well, the results are amazing and since doing those programs I feel totally different. I know beacuse all these beliefs loisted above have no negative effect since doing those programs. Plus I am no longer afraid of flying or spiders, my confidence is amazing, please use this as a testimonial from a very satisfied customer, who will be back for more stuff later in the year. I have been trying to send you a testimonial thanking you for a while. So here it is at last.

    Many thanks

    Phil Watson
    St Ives

    Ps I have recommended you to many others, and everyone that has used your program rates it as highly as I do. If people want to email me for confirmation they are welcome to do so.

  18. Malcolm March 31, 2009 at 4:52 am - Reply

    Morty, not sure if you are actually reading this or a PA.

    I have been using your program to gerat effect, but have found something that blast it to new heights.

    Ever read a brilliant book by Karol Truman called “Feeling Buried Alive Never Die.”

    It will take you work to entirely new heights when applying the short technique (Script) ontop of what you are a;lready doing.

    Additionally, cleaning up ones diet, doing a few bowel, liver Kidney cleanses and a few juice fasts will bring levels of well being that are other wise un imaginable.

    Please accept my comments above in the constructive light they were intended. Happy to share, as I like your work.

    Dubai UAE

  19. Maija-Liisa March 31, 2009 at 4:39 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story. We do change when we change the lens through which we see ourself. One lens to change to — to eliminate negative beliefs — is to find out for ourself that God our Father loves us, knows us and cares about us. With that basis there is even more reason to use a belief eliminating system like yours.

  20. Marian March 31, 2009 at 3:49 am - Reply

    Simply brilliant,

    they say knowledge is power only if it is used,
    and ignorance is abliss,
    iurge you all who are ignorant what stress and worry can do, please go and down load this program on overcoming your limiting barrier, its a small price to pay for big success,
    Either way you have held yoursel capitive for last so many years probably 40to 50 years or so, how long you want to hold on is your personal choice i can’t comment on that .but if you want freedom from this barrier grab the knowledge before its toolate,
    from Mumbai,
    Feel free to call me on my mobile+919819146735.

  21. Francis Valenti March 31, 2009 at 3:30 am - Reply

    When I was 13 years old I acted 13. When I was 21 years old I acted 13 I found my self at 41 years old act 13. I realized I needed to grow up and start thinking about other people before myself. I realized I was self absorbed with me. I realized that I was the problem am the problem and will all be the problem if I don’t look at me first than I will make you my excuse for my life being the way it is. I have start to selfless that means change I can not change myself something must change me we work so hard to change alone and fail we need to realize it is something that changes us. Thanks

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