Five steps to getting rid of negative emotions
Have you ever seen a mirage?
When I lived in Miami Beach as a kid I saw plenty of them.
The first time was on a very hot day.
I looked down the road and it seemed like a river was flowing in the intersection at the end of the block.
It looked strange. I wondered how all that water got there.
So I rode my bike down to the intersection … and what did I see?
Just dry road of course.
It wasn’t a big realization. It was just a simple change in perception that I achieved by really looking at what was happening.
The same thing happens when people try my Lefkoe Freedom Process that you may already have tried.
When the mind has created a meaning for an event in the moment–something I call an occurring–it believes the meaning to be true.
It’s like seeing a mirage but not knowing it’s a mirage.
When you really look carefully at the occurring and then notice that it’s not IN the events but only in the mind, it vanishes as completely as the “water” vanished when I rode to the the intersection.
The key is to know how to look.
And I’ll show you the simple steps you can do on your own now.
The Five Steps To Getting Rid Of A Negative Emotion
First, notice that you are having a negative emotion.
Second, notice the event that came before the emotion.
Third, notice the occurring – the meaning — that produces the emotion.
Fourth, notice that the meaning is something the mind added to the event. It’s not really a part of the event.
Fifth, notice if the emotion is gone. If so, great. If not, notice if there is another meaning producing an emotion and begin the process again.
(It’s also possible that you chose a meaning that does not cause the emotion or that you chose a meaning that’s not really a meaning. If so, the process won’t work. I’ll show you how to handle these possibilities in future emails.)
Here’s An Example Of How One Person Used This Process
Jane had a fight with her husband and was feeling angry.
First, she noticed her feeling of anger.
Second, she noticed that it came after a fight with her husband. She had asked him to do something; he promised to do it and did not. When she brought it up he accused her of nagging him. That’s when she got angry.
Third, she looked for the meaning. One of her meanings was, “He’s wrong to say that I’m nagging.”
Fourth, she noticed that her meaning was something she added to the event. “Wrongness” isn’t something that’s in an event. It can only exist in the mind.
Fifth, she noticed that her feeling of anger over his comment about her nagging was gone. But she still had feelings about other things he said, so she did the process on those feelings as well until she noticed she didn’t feel upset any more.
One key thing to note is that Jane had to use the process more than once to handle all the feelings from the fight. Sometimes there is more than one meaning causing an upset.
Fortunately, since you can follow these five steps on your own, you can handle every meaning until you’re mind is clear.
So please try it yourself on your own and let me know your results by leaving a comment below.
I’d really love to hear how it works for you. And of course you are free to continue to use the web app as well.