Jeannie, a former client, wanted to take a vacation. She and her husband Robert had dreamed about this vacation for years, but every time they thought of a place they would really like to visit, they encountered an obstacle: “We really want to go away to a really nice place, but we can’t afford it.”

Removing ObstaclesPatrick, another client, wanted to make more money to do various things for his wife and children, but his obstacle had been: “There are so many things I really want to do for my family, but I don’t have the skills necessary to increase my level of income.”

Rebecca, a friend, talked about wanting to eat healthier food almost every time I saw her. But she never reached her goal. She told me that her obstacle was: “I do want to eat healthier, but I can’t because I’m always tempted by specific foods I really love, especially sweets, even though I know they are not healthy.”

Notice that in every case there is a goal that someone wanted to achieve; there is also a “but I can’t because ….”

What is actually stopping you?

Obviously there are beliefs and occurrings involved in these three cases that, if eliminated, could help these people overcome the obstacles they faced in trying to achieve their goals. But there is a simple trick I was able to show them in just a few minutes that enabled them to stop feeling overwhelmed and stopped by the obstacles that stood in their way.

When you have an obstacle to achieving your goal, it feels like the barrier is keeping you from even pursuing your goal, much less achieving it. In other words, you are stating off with the mindset: “I can’t achieve it because of my obstacle.”

In Jeannie’s case, she couldn’t take the vacation that she wanted because she had insufficient money. Patrick couldn’t earn the money he wanted to buy things for his family because of a lack of specific skills. And Rebecca couldn’t eat healthy foods because of the temptation to eat foods that weren’t healthy.

Can you see that these people viewed their obstacles as something that was preventing them from pursuing their goals? Each of them had a clear goal, but something was keeping them from moving toward the goal. Every one of them had a “but I can’t because ….”

How to avoid being stopped by the obstacles in your life

Here’s the trick that helped these three people and so many more, and that can help you reach many more of your goals, regardless of the obstacles in the way.

Include the obstacles to reaching your goal as part of the goal itself. What happens when you do that? The “but I can‘t because …” is gone. The barrier to the goal just disappeared. The goal is perhaps a bit more complex, but psychologically there is nothing standing between you and your goal.

Let’s apply this principle to the three stories
I related earlier

Here’s Jeannie’s revised goal: I want to take a vacation that will cost more money than my husband and I have available. That is her goal. She might not know how to accomplish that goal, but now there is nothing in the way of her finding a solution. Before the lack of money had been a significant barrier to finding a solution to the goal of taking a vacation.

The difference is subtle, but psychologically it can be immense. Do you get it?

Let’s look at the other two examples.

Patrick’s new goal is wanting to make more money using the skills he currently has. Rebecca’s new goal is wanting to stop allowing her desire for unhealthy food to keep her from eating a healthier diet.

The obstacles just disappear

Can you see how rewording their goals to include the prior barriers eliminates the barriers? It is a lot easier to find a way to achieve a goal you aren’t sure how to achieve than it is to achieve a goal with a seemingly insurmountable barrier in front of it.

Try this trick with a couple of your own goals. Identify a couple of goals and then see what barriers you have placed in front of achieving them. How do you feel about achieving them? How successful have you been in overcoming your barriers and reaching your goals?

Now redefine the goals to include the barriers. How do you feel about achieving the goals now? Do you notice a definite psychological shift in your mind?

 

Thanks for reading my blog. Please post your questions or comments on my suggestion that eliminating barriers by including them in your statement of your goals will make it easier to achieve your goals. Disagreement is as welcome as agreement. Your comments add value for thousands of readers. I love to read them all and I will respond to as many as I can.

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Copyright © 2015 Morty Lefkoe

 

27 Comments

  1. Pravin Kumar May 2, 2020 at 3:24 pm - Reply

    Agreed with the detailed article Jaspreet. Facing & overcoming obstacles are the most challenging tasks while pursuing a goal.

    • Philip February 17, 2022 at 8:03 am - Reply

      All right, but after changing the goal like that, is our subconscious mind instantly reprogrammed, or do we need to repeat the goal as an affirmation hundreds of times each day (for many years)?

  2. Jaspreet Singh February 13, 2019 at 11:09 pm - Reply

    Agreed with the detailed article. Facing & overcoming obstacles are the most challenging tasks while pursuing a goal. Need to have a burning desire in order to continue. And the best part is what we become after surmounting the obstacles :)
    Jaspreet
    https://www.whatisdestinytuningtechnique.com/

  3. Luk. Zdravko March 16, 2015 at 5:45 am - Reply

    This is one of the best tips I’ve read for a long time. It’s actually genius, if I could only thought of this earlier..

    How clever… include the obstacles as a “part” of the goal achievement process. It sounds simple but it isn’t… I used to set goals and accept the fact that there will be obstacles along the way and yes, I will fight, I will be persistent, I won’t give up etc. etc. , but I never thought how much more powerful it would be if I set the obstacles as part of my goal!

    The idea is brilliant and that’s exactly what I’ll do after this comment. My next goal will not be to rank my website in 2 months, but it will be to be rejected many times, to lose certain investments and to work day and night without any result, but all of that, as a part of me ranking my website. Ingenious!

  4. Volker February 4, 2015 at 4:52 am - Reply

    Hi Morty,

    This is really clever and useful.I have already written down dozens of goals along with reasons why I can’t reach them and then incorporated the limitations into the goal. This will be a very valuable coaching tool, as well and I would like to share it with others. Could I post the technique somewhere and mention you as the originator or would you prefer me to just post a link to this page?

  5. Joseann January 31, 2015 at 3:32 am - Reply

    “Instead of I want to go down this road, but there is a barrier in the road that is stopping me, say: I want to go down this road that has a barrier in the middle of it. ”

    Genius! Thank You!!! I just sent it to my son who is at a basketball match where “they can’t win because the others are taller, stronger, better, meaner…”

    • Morty Lefkoe February 1, 2015 at 11:21 am - Reply

      Hi Joseann,

      Did your son try it? I’d love to get some feedback on how this exercise worked for people.

      Love,Morty

  6. anna January 26, 2015 at 6:23 am - Reply

    so……if i say i want to do this with the barrier in the middle of it, i should feel kind of relief……oh my god! does it work????? if there is no emotional barrier does it mean i am more likely to achieve it?????

  7. Esther January 20, 2015 at 4:01 pm - Reply

    Dear Morty,

    Others said it before me, so I am not very original, when I say that you are a genius, and have proven it once again!!!!!

    I understand how subtle the difference in both cases is and it may not be obvious to rephrase the statement at the beginning.
    What’s important though, is to understand the principle of your idea and try to apply it in different situations. ”Practice makes perfect” they say…..

    Love, Esther

    • Morty Lefkoe February 1, 2015 at 11:21 am - Reply

      Hi Esther,

      Thanks for your note.

      I’d love to know how this exercise worked for you and anyone else you told about it.

      Love,Morty

  8. Cynthia January 19, 2015 at 11:17 am - Reply

    Ditto Ken H.: “Genius”!

  9. oana January 19, 2015 at 7:09 am - Reply

    Hi,

    I’ve been working with one of your facilitator one year ago. Even though it has been a good session I continue to struggle with one step from your method’s process. I cannot remember my childhood! It’s incredibly frustrating and I am developing feelings of anger every time I am trying to work with my beliefs. I feel stuck and I can’t make something about this. Please help me and give me a suggestion about how to approach this problem. Hope my English is not another barrier :). Thank you in advance! Love, Oana

  10. joao January 18, 2015 at 4:27 am - Reply

    Dear Morty, please answer me
    I really would like to put this in practice, I do not understand what you mean…
    If I say I can not do this because i do not say how, or i am afraid of the consequences, How can i handle or dissolve or or forget this barrier????

  11. LaurenLL January 17, 2015 at 10:26 am - Reply

    Morty,
    I am going to use this technique as I go forward with my projects with writing, health, and organizing. What a subtle yet effective way of moving forward instead of “sitting on the but”. I’m also going to share this with the other ladies on a FB page where we encourage each other on the things we want to achieve.
    Love and Light,
    Lauren

    • Morty Lefkoe February 1, 2015 at 11:17 am - Reply

      Hi Lauren,

      I’d love to hear how this process worked for you. Did it help the other ladies?

      Love, Morty

  12. p.suresh January 17, 2015 at 8:09 am - Reply

    HI SIR,
    I AM ALWAYS THINK NEGATIVELY. AND TAKE IT EVERYTHINK SERIOUSLY. I CAN T ABLE TO STOP MY OVERTHINKING PROBLEMS. PLEASE SUGEST ME THE WAY TO RELIFE FROM THIS PROBLEM

  13. Ken H. January 15, 2015 at 4:14 am - Reply

    In a word Morty, “genius!”

    • Morty Lefkoe February 1, 2015 at 11:20 am - Reply

      Hi Ken,

      Thanks for the accolade.

      Did you try it? How did it work for you?

      Love, Morty

  14. J James January 14, 2015 at 6:34 am - Reply

    Henry Ford said it best: “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
    Looking at something in the opposite of what we tell ourselves through thoughts and words is really the key in unraveling these very thoughts and beliefs. It is the awareness of our reality (the limiting or self-defeating beliefs) and knowing the actuality (the unlimited or self-growing beliefs) that helps us to achieve true freedom.

  15. Joanna Brandt January 14, 2015 at 6:06 am - Reply

    Hi Morty,
    This is amazing. Thank you for your deep insight into how the mind works, and for illuminating it for the rest of us. I’m definitely going to use this myself and with my clients.
    Joanna Brandt
    http://www.myuniverseworks.com

    • Morty Lefkoe February 1, 2015 at 11:18 am - Reply

      Hi Joanna,

      I’d love to hear how this worked for you and your clients.

      Love, Morty

  16. Osman Safdar January 14, 2015 at 5:42 am - Reply

    Thanks Morty! That’s a great mindset shift I must say. A really effective way to remove the obstacles :) Thanks for sharing.

  17. joao January 14, 2015 at 4:45 am - Reply

    I did not understand this, what you mean???

    for. ex. I am full of fear to try a new option to get money, because if i fail i will be depressive and become a loser….and…..????

  18. Leila January 14, 2015 at 3:08 am - Reply

    This looks like a brilliant way to achieve goals more easily. I like to write and I have noticed I use ‘but’ quite a lot – I wouldn’t be surprised if this habit is behind some of my procrastination.

    • Morty Lefkoe February 1, 2015 at 11:19 am - Reply

      Hi Leila,

      Did you try this exercise? I’d love to hear how it worked for you.

      Love, Morty

  19. Stacey January 14, 2015 at 1:35 am - Reply

    I’m trying to turn my obstacle into a positive but, I’m having trouble doing that. I read it three times to get an understanding; I want to learn how to drive~ having trouble wording my desire to eliminate that obstacle

    • morty lefkoe January 14, 2015 at 7:14 am - Reply

      Hi Stacey,

      You don’t have to turn the goal into a “positive.” Just include the barrier in your statement of the goal.

      Instead of I want to go down this road, but there is a barrier in the road that is stopping me, say: I want to go down this road that has a barrier in the middle of it. If that is the goal, there is no “but,” no barrier keeping you from your goal.

      Subtle distinction, but important.

      Hope this helps.

      Love, Morty

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