[Looking around.]

“Yeah, it’s worked for thousands of people.”

“Uh huh. Hey Bob!  Sorry I need to go.”

Sound familiar?

Well, that’s how I used to do it.  And yeah, it didn’t work very well.

As you can see the conversation is a bit one-sided and ends rather quickly.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  Once you find a way to answer the question “what do you do?” in such a way that it practically invites the other person to either find out more … or tell you more about themselves … you can start a real conversation that gives you a shot at being trusted, liked and understood.

A few things to keep in mind:

When a person asks what you do, they are expecting a very short answer.  At the low end just one or two words or at the high end a couple of sentences.

And they need to understand those words.

So if you were in a conventional profession, you can say “I’m a pediatric nurse” or “I’m an immigration lawyer” or ‘I’m a dentist.”

Most people understand what those things are.

But saying “I’m a Lefkoe Method Facilitator” has one word most people don’t know — Lefkoe.  And another word most people associate with a person that leads meetings — facilitator.

This practically guarantees they won’t understand who and what you are.

The Dreaded ____ Speech …

What many people create to address this problem is often called an elevator speech.  It’s so named because it should be short enough that if someone asked what you do in an elevator, you could finish it before the doors opened.

But … a lot of people think the purpose of the elevator speech is to get someone to understand what you do.

And that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Here’s why:

First, since eliminating beliefs is simple but easy to misunderstand, it’s unlikely that in just a few sentences we can communicate the power behind what we do.

And second, even if you are successful in helping them understand what we do and the kinds of results we promise … what are the chances that person will actually believe you?

It’s like telling Ben Franklin that you’ve got a ship that can take him to the moon.  You probably won’t be believed.

Fortunately, we don’t have to get people to believe in the awesome power of the Lefkoe Method in order for them to be open to letting us help them.

We just have to get them to trust us.  And we do that by listening well.  And we can only listen well if we get the other person talking.

So the purpose of the elevator speech is …

… to get the other person talking.  But of course it’s not to get them talking about anything.  The purpose is to get them to talk about stuff related to what you do.

So the examples I gave earlier such as “I’m a pediatric nurse” won’t really cut it even if people understand them … because those words won’t necessarily cause people to want to start talking

But if you say “You know how sometimes a baby gets sick and the parents have no idea what to do?”

The person might respond “Yeah, I know what you mean.  One day when my daughter was only 4 months old she started wheezing.  My husband and I had no idea what to do …”

When you phrase it as a question, it invites a response.  It starts a conversation.

That’s why Anne suggests that you use an elevator question instead of an elevator speech.

But what question will you use?

Of course, there are many possibilities and what you choose will be different depending on the person you’re talking to and the type of clients you’re looking for.

However, I’ll give you one that Anne Lieberman has used which is general enough that most people can use it as a starting point.

First, Anne’s elevator question in response to “What do you do?”

“Let me ask you, are you the only person I’ve ever met who didn’t have a habit that you had difficulty changing?”

When she’s asked this question, she often gets replies such as “Oh I bite my nails” or “I sometimes yell at people who make mistakes.”  Then the person may go into greater detail.  

Meanwhile all you do is, as Anne says, “Shut up and listen.”

The conversation has now started.

The more the person reveals about themselves to you, the more they will trust you.  No one would share their problems with a person they didn’t trust.

And by listening, you’ve shown yourself to have a quality that’s desired in all helping professionals — you make them feel heard.

Notice that Anne has not had to make any grand claims of effectiveness to get the person to open up.

All she’s done is ask a question and listen to the reply.

It’s short, simple and brilliant.

This is something that you can do.  You ask questions all day long.  So you can definitely craft your own elevator question.  And you can then test it.

But how will you know it’s working?

You can’t measure it’s effectiveness by how many clients you get … at least not at first.  That takes a little more time.

You know it’s working if it gets the other person talking.

So your first task is to create and then test your elevator question.  Judge it’s effectiveness by how much it gets the other person to speak.  The more the better.

Then just “Shut up and listen.”

But what do you do when the person has shared their problems with you?

Do you ask them to buy a session from you?

Do you give them your hourly fees?

Do you send them to a website?

You don’t do any of those things.

Next time I’ll let you know what to do once you’ve heard the person’s problems.  It’s an approach that only works once you’ve established trust through listening … and makes it easier for the person to accept your help.

Until then, please come up with your own elevator question and put it into the comments below.  I’ll then give you some feedback on it.

And if it’s really good, maybe I’ll use it myself :)