He seemed to be sabotaging himself in a project that he thought could make a profound difference in people’s lives. The problem seemed to be that in order to move it forward he might have to hire some people and actually start a business. In other words, he’d have to “become a businessman.” He didn’t want to do that—and that led us to the root of the problem.
He discovered a bunch of negative beliefs he had about running a business and making money—as distinct from contributing to people and making a difference in their lives, which is all he’s wanted to do for most of his life. (He had run several businesses earlier in his life and, while successful, his experience had been deeply unsatisfying.)
As I named some beliefs that could account for his self-sabotage, he said: “I’ve been working on these beliefs for over 25 years. But something is still there. It’s like the beliefs are ropes that started with over a hundred strands and are now down to the last one or two. The beliefs you just mentioned still seem a little bit true.”
I realized at that moment one of the crucial differences between The Lefkoe Method (TLM) and most other personal growth disciplines (including most psychotherapies) is that the latter frequently attempt to improve your situation while TLM is committed to totally eliminating your problem, by getting rid of all the beliefs and conditionings that cause a problem.
For example, we ask clients with a fear of public speaking to rate their fear on a scale from 1-10, one being no fear at all and 10 being terror. People who rate their fear from 8-10 often say they would be happy to reduce their fear to below a 5 level. Nonetheless, we offer a money-back guarantee that the fear will be eliminated, in other words, reduced to no more than a “2,” which is barely noticeable and that has no adverse impact on them at all.
So if you work on a problem long enough using other disciplines, you probably can reduce its impact on you. But the problem is unlikely to disappear completely until you eliminate the real source of the problem: all the relevant beliefs and conditionings.
In last week’s post I explained how beliefs are formed and what it takes to eliminate them totally, https://www.mortylefkoe.com/eliminate-beliefs-good/. Anything less than that and some sense that the belief still is true (a few strands of the rope) probably will remain.
At best, if you try to get rid of the relevant beliefs by trying to convince yourself that the beliefs are illogical and self-defeating, you will not succeed if you still think you “saw” them in the world and you still think that repeatedly feeling your beliefs means they must be true.
At worst, if you try to get rid of a problem without even attempting to eliminate the beliefs and conditionings that are the primary cause of the problem, the problem might be reduced somewhat, but it’s unlikely to disappear.
In either case, the last “couple of stands” will continue to affect you in major or subtle ways.
I don’t know that TLM is the only technique that completely and permanently eliminates the beliefs that cause the problems that undercut your happiness and success in life. But if you are looking for a solution to your problems, make sure you find one that promises to permanently and completely eliminate it, not merely one that claims to reduce it.
Please let me know with a comment below what your experience has been in minimizing problems versus eliminating them.
If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.
For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings, which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.
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Copyright © 2011 Morty Lefkoe