For many years I thought that virtually all of our behavior and feelings were caused by beliefs.  When thousands of clients found and eliminated the relevant beliefs, they saw spectacular behavioral and emotional changes.

After about 12 years, however, I had a client who eliminated scores of beliefs and made many significant changes in his life, but who couldn’t get rid of the anger he felt toward his mother, who was a partner in his construction business, when she gave him advice on how to run his company.

At that point I realized that beliefs weren’t the only cause of our feelings, that stimuli could be conditioned to cause emotions, such as being told what to do causing anger and not living up to expectations causing anxiety.

As time went on I realized that sometimes a sense of ourselves or a sense of life could result in feelings, as could conditioned expectations.  In other words, there were several sources of emotions in addition to beliefs, although beliefs still seemed to be the major source.

Occurrings are the major direct cause of feelings

There I was for many years until about two years ago when I came upon the distinction between reality and how reality occurs for us, in other words, the meaning we give reality.  I soon realized that the feelings that seemed to be caused by beliefs were caused indirectly by beliefs, but directly by our occurrings.  Here’s an example: Assume a woman has the belief, Men are dangerous.  When she sees a man and feels fear, it seems as if the belief is causing the fear.  In fact, it isn’t.  The belief is responsible for the woman giving the man’s presence the meaning, at that moment, that she is in danger.  That immediate meaning, that “occurring,” is actually causing the feeling of fear.

It is true that the meaning she gives that particular man is determined primarily by the beliefs she already had about men in general, but the feeling is still caused by the occurring.  Therefore, by dissolving the occurring you could get rid of the fear at that moment without getting rid of the belief.  This was a major insight for me.

Although the occurring can be dissolved immediately along with the emotion it caused, if the belief was not eliminated this woman would continue to give “negative” meanings to encounters with men in the future, which would cause fear.

Beliefs don’t directly cause behavior either

So for the past couple of years I was clear that emotions were directly caused by occurrings and conditionings, not beliefs.  But up until last week I still thought that our behavior is caused directly by beliefs.  I had plenty of evidence.  For example, I had seen many clients totally stop their procrastination by eliminating 16 or so beliefs.  I had seen many clients start taking actions they had been afraid to take—such as doing things for the first time, approaching women, changing careers—after eliminating the relevant beliefs.

What I just realized (and I need to check out further) is that there are usually thoughts just before we act, especially when we refrain from acting.  It appears that those thoughts are occurrings or at least clues to our occurrings.  If this is true, then, like feelings, beliefs are only the indirect cause of our behavior and our occurrings are the direct cause.  If we dissolve those occurrings I suspect that we could take action without eliminating the beliefs.

Let’s look at a specific behavior and see how this works.  Procrastination consists of not doing things that either should be done or that we actually want to do.  We have identified about 16 beliefs and conditionings that have seemed to cause this behavioral problem.  How might your occurrings cause you to procrastinate?

Imagine you have the “procrastination beliefs,” such as I’m not capable, I’m not competent, mistakes and failure are bad, if I make a mistake I’ll be rejected, and what makes me good enough and important is doing things perfectly.  Now imagine you were about to take on some new project.  Given these beliefs, it probably would occur to you as: I can’t do this project.  I will fail.  Anything less than perfection means there’s something wrong with me.

This occurring is what would determine your behavior at that moment; the beliefs are relevant only in that they are the major source of the occurring.

It is important to remember that getting rid of the beliefs is still crucial because they are the primary cause of our occurrings.  If we don’t get rid of the beliefs, we will keep having similar occurrings in similar situations over and over.  On the other hand, if we eliminated the relevant beliefs, we probably would stop having those occurrings.

To summarize: What seems to determine our behavior and feelings moment by moment are our occurrings, which, in turn, are caused primarily by our beliefs.

Getting rid of beliefs and dissolving occurrings are not substitutes for each other

It would be nice if we could resolve all our problems either by eliminating all our limiting beliefs or by learning how to dissolve our occurrings.  Unfortunately, although doing either would make a significant improvement in the quality of our life, we should learn how to do both.

Learning how to dissolve our occurrings enables us to handle any negative feelings as they happen, instead of having to wait until we discover and eliminate the beliefs that caused the occurring.  Also, sometimes the source of any given occurring is a belief that doesn’t have much impact in other areas of our life, so it would only show up infrequently.  As a result we might have to continually identify and eliminate new beliefs as we notice them causing new occurrings.

(Here is an example of a belief that caused me to have a negative occurring, but that probably wouldn’t show up often or affect my life in any significant way. I noticed that my wife Shelly usually left water glasses or teacups in the bathroom, her office, the bedroom, and any other room she happened to wander into during the course of a day.  I gave it the meaning that she was making a mess in the house and I got annoyed.   I dissolved the meaning and the upset went away, but I also discovered the belief that produced that occurring: Shelly is unconscious about making a mess.)

On the other hand, eliminating a lot of beliefs would prevent a lot of occurrings from ever happening, but because some occurrings are caused by beliefs that don’t show up very often and because some occurrings are not even caused by beliefs, this strategy would not enable you to prevent all occurrings in the future.  Based on my experience over the past couple of years, other factors determining occurrings include moods, conditionings (stimuli, sense, and expectations), and physical sensations

So beliefs are still a very important factor in improving your experience of life—making you happier, getting rid of anxieties and other negative feelings, and enabling you to take action you had been unable to take before.  But they are not the determining cause.  Our occurrings are.

Please leave your comments and questions here about today’s post.  I read all posts and answer as many as I can.

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If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.

For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings—which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives including a lack of confidence—and get a separate video of the WAIR? Process, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.

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copyright ©2012 Morty Lefkoe

43 Comments

  1. ISMAIL May 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm - Reply

    Can I join the occurring course online? I need it badly.

    • Morty Lefkoe May 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm - Reply

      Hi Ismail,

      Thanks for your interest in the course but we are almost half way through and it’s much too late to join. There probably will be another one in July and we’d love to have you join that one.

      You can go to http://occurringcourse.com/discover and put down a deposit to reserve a space in the next one.

      Love,Morty

  2. Sue February 22, 2012 at 12:17 pm - Reply

    Morty,

    I have to say that your newsletter and articles have inspired me and made me aware that we need to look closely at those we ask for help. I have received a number of emails, newsletters and e-books from so many self-help gurus that it seems overwhelming at times. While some of it is very useful and good, I find myself continuing to go back to your articles and website. You speak with a clarity that few others have done. Thank you for helping to get the word out about limiting beliefs in such a way that most of us can understand, use and apply to improve out lives.

    Respectfully,
    Sue

  3. Sylvia February 18, 2012 at 8:30 am - Reply

    Check out FasterEFT.com – you can get rid of the memories that trigger these occurrence, that then set up the emotions, which drives the behaviour. And you can do it quickly and easily. You’re both on the same page, Morty. But this process is so much quicker.

  4. Shaun - Millionaire Mentors February 16, 2012 at 9:23 am - Reply

    Thank you.

    I think I’m going to include some of your conclusions in a blog post coming up.

    Cheers!

  5. Thomas February 16, 2012 at 7:04 am - Reply

    Since we are meaning making machines would that mean law of attraction is simply a meaning given to an event ?

    • Morty Lefkoe February 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm - Reply

      Thomas,

      I’m not sure, but it is likely that the meaning we give to things working out the way we wanted is that the “Law of Attraction” is at work. Another meaning is that we did the work necessary to achieve the result we got.

      Love,Morty

  6. pamela February 16, 2012 at 12:15 am - Reply

    Dear Morty,
    Am I correct in understanding you to mean that an occurring is a meaning that we give something?, rather than something that occurs; like the sun rise.
    And that an occurring can also be caused by beliefs, when we encounter a situation that gets red flagged by a certain belief, we make up a meaning about that particular situation,using the evidence of the belief and not the factual evidence of what is going on in that present moment.
    In your opinion are occurings (meanings we give things) potential belief seedlings? So if we can nip them in the bud, we get relief in the moment and then the occurring doesn’t have the opportunity to grow into a belief(s)or feed an existing belief ?
    Do you consider emotions and feelings to be the same thing?

    Could you elaborate on how you were able to help your client who was angry at his mom eliminate the occurring that caused this, and how this was not based on a belief?

    Thank you Sincerely
    Pamela

  7. Alex February 15, 2012 at 11:40 pm - Reply

    Oh, that is so funny, I posted twice. Well, let me dissipate my awkwardness with a lovely depiction of a chimpanzee with crazy eyes:

    d(@_@)b

  8. Alex February 15, 2012 at 11:38 pm - Reply

    Hey Morty,

    Today I tried really hard to identify and maybe dissolve any occurrings I was having that prevented me from being able to feel comfortable talking to strangers in order to meet them because I want to make new friends and hook up with chicks… but I failed. I wasn’t able to feel comfortable doing that and I held back, as usual.

    I don’t know if it’s because I was unable to dissolve the occurrings I spotted, or if I did dissolve them but there were other occurrings I was unaware of. I would appreciate your insight on this.

  9. Alex February 15, 2012 at 11:29 pm - Reply

    Hey Morty. Today I tried really really hard to dissolve any occurrings I was having that prevented me from being able to feel comfortable talking to strangers in order to meet them. I failed. I don’t know if it’s because I was unable to dissolve the occurrings I spotted, or if I did dissolve them but there were other occurrings I was unaware of. I would appreciate your insight on this.

  10. Danni February 15, 2012 at 8:10 pm - Reply

    Hi Morty!

    I really enjoyed the work I did eliminating beliefs and am trying to wrap my head around occurings. Harry above says they wouldn’t exist as they dow without the framework of belief but you clearly see it differently. I sense that this has to do with the body and it’s organic response to a situation as opposed to our thoughts. But I will wait to hear as you discover more. For me, my emotions have a great deal to do with what I believe and how I interpret situations within my beliefs. That seems to drive my physical responses which I experience as emotion

    • Morty Lefkoe February 16, 2012 at 10:00 pm - Reply

      Hi Danni,

      I think beliefs determine occurrings, which determine emotions.

      I’ve written a lot about occurrings on this blog in the past. Check the Table of Contents for a lot more information.

      Also check out http://occurringcourse.com/how-lop-works/

      Love, Morty

  11. HARRY February 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm - Reply

    This seems more of a semantic issue. Beliefs determine our interpretation of occurrings, the meaning we assign to them. Occurrings do not happen in a void, but in a framework predisposed by beliefs that are the filters for the way we
    experience the occurrings.

    • Morty Lefkoe February 16, 2012 at 10:03 pm - Reply

      Hi Harry,

      Beliefs determine the meaning we give events, they don’t determine our interpretation of the interpretation, the meaning we give the meaning.

      Beliefs are the major determinant of the way things occur to us, but what determines our behavior and emotions moment by moment is the occurrings.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment,

      Love, Morty

  12. Pamela Murawski February 15, 2012 at 11:55 am - Reply

    Belief is seperate from God. It is man made. What is important is your thoughts and are they in likeness of the almighty God. God is everything and God is the all of the all. Anything else is man and man made with beliefs. God gave man free will. God gave man a mind yes to co-create with him but make sure it is divine mind where your thoughts are one with God and his likeness. Many thoughts are not based in good and are fear generated. Look at the woman that wrote you and stated some men are bad and dangerous. Fear creates sickness and disease which is not of the likeness of God. Occuring has nothing to do with it at all. A person needs to just rebuke fear and illusion and then there is no occuring. Break it down for people and state it is thought not just belief. We would have a garden of eden to live in and peace on earth if fear was illiminated. Fear not for God is here! Ye one of little faith! I only say these things out of love for you and all people. We do not want to make money just to make it but to uplift people in goodness, love and grace.

  13. James Smith February 15, 2012 at 11:11 am - Reply

    This sounds a bit like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy; would I be correct?

    • Morty Lefkoe February 15, 2012 at 11:22 am - Reply

      Hi James,

      Nope, nothing at all like CBT.

      It certainly can sound like it, but the Lefkoe Occurring Process enables you to dissolve your occurrings immediately, thereby dissolving the feelings the occurrings had caused. Moreover, if you practice enough, you actually stop giving meaning to events much of the time.

      Love, Morty

  14. Ian February 15, 2012 at 10:32 am - Reply

    Hay Morty, this is an interesting insight that I will start working on since my participation in the occurring course 6.

    I’m now able to dissolve all negative emotion quickly, but have not yet consciously used it to chance behaviour, which I will now start testing.

    I have observed that the thoughts that come up before being in-active are;
    “I can’t be bothered”, “I will do it later”, “I won’t be able to”, “I don’t know how” ect. Although these are mostly “thoughts”, I will start to look for the occurring’s behind them to test this theory to see if this leads to action.

    Hope alls good

    • Morty Lefkoe February 15, 2012 at 10:40 am - Reply

      Hi Ian,

      After you do some experimenting, let me know what you come up with.

      Love, Morty

  15. Janet Robinson February 15, 2012 at 9:01 am - Reply

    Hello Morty,
    I have a little difficulty with this theory as it seems like semantics to me. I get that our beliefs are at the core of our actions, but the occurings are somewhere in between those steps. Would you say that occurings are the same as perceptions? Is that not something we have been taking for granted? Thank you for the post. It really is a mind bender.

    • Morty Lefkoe February 16, 2012 at 10:06 pm - Reply

      Hi Janet,

      It isn’t semantics. It is a valid distinction. There is a significant difference between beliefs and the meaning we give events moment to moment.

      Take a look at an earlier post for more details. https://www.mortylefkoe.com/happiness-depends-knowing/#

      Thanks for posting.

      Love, Morty

  16. randall February 15, 2012 at 8:58 am - Reply

    Pardon me for misspelling your name, Morty!

  17. randall February 15, 2012 at 8:56 am - Reply

    Hi Marty—–I’ve just begun this journey with you so I am still trying to get straight the
    concept of occurring—–is it the event or the thought about the event which has occurred or is about to occur? Or is it something else altogether?

    • James May 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm - Reply

      I got this one! It’s the thought about the MEANING of the event. So, somebody approaches me on the street. I think, “That guy is coming toward me.” That’s not an occurring. I think, “Oh, no! [That means] I’m in trouble,” that’s an occurring.

      One catalogs facts; the other adds meaning. [Assuming I have it right] that’s the key idea: an occurring adds something to reality.

      Classic Zen: A man is hanging by a root from a cliff. Above him, he sees a tiger looking at him. Below, he sees a tiger looking at him. To his left, he sees a strawberry. He eats it, it’s the best strawberry he’s ever tasted.

      You can bet that the occurring, “I’m going to die!” was not rushing through his brain at that moment.

  18. Carol February 15, 2012 at 8:44 am - Reply

    Hi Morty,

    It would seem that there is also the opportunity to evaluate the occurring to consider whether you should adjust your behavior in relation to it. In the example you provide of the woman who is pre conditioned to fear men, perhaps the woman should retain the option to fear some men rather than excluding the belief “all men are dangerous.” Some men are dangerous and we have plenty of evidence on which to objectively assess this. If we are aware of and attend to cues in our environment, then we can better calculate the potential risk within the current context. A man approaching me quickly on a dark street when I am walking alone should probably arouse some concern in me. On a sunny day with many people around should arouse less concern. If I am present in the situation and mindful and aware that most men are not bad, then I am prepared to assess risk of any given man’s danger to me within each context and adjust my behavior accordingly. Therefore my behavior can be contingent on both my belief and specific “occurings” as I encounter them. In general I can treat all men with respect and then change my position (belief and behavior) in relation to specific men according to how they treat me. Admittedly, this approach assumes I have the capacity to be present, mindful, am adequately informed to assess risk, and can adjust my behavior accordingly. If I live in constant fear (in my opinion negative emotions stem primarily from fear), however, my abilities to do these things are always filtered because I’m projecting my past into my future.

    Thanks for your continued thoughtfulness.

    • Gracie February 16, 2012 at 9:02 am - Reply

      Hi Carol,

      Eliminating the belief ‘all men are dangerous’ frees one to choose. It does not eliminate the belief ‘some men are dangerous.’ (I know, because I’ve done this; also with women) If one believes ‘all men are dangerous,’ then there is as much concern on a sunny day in a well populated place as there is in say, your living room (as well as on a dark street at night alone).

      I find this regardless of occurring.

  19. Judy February 15, 2012 at 8:12 am - Reply

    Hi Morty,
    I really enjoy your posts and find them supportive in different ways. What I notice is the term…’get rid of’…..As if somehow it is some how bad, not useful or negative, ect., which keeps reinforcing the idea that there is something wrong with me.

    It is like a pattern that is running on auto pilot and perhaps, I don’t know, your lovely wife is helping you to discover this by leaving glasses all over the place. It is something you are not aware of and she is supporting you unconditionally to show you this.

    Getting ‘rid’ of something is not accepting yourself fully. It is to be noticed, not judged as the act of judging holds that pattern in place. (well, the belief that there is a pattern there at all, I suppose)

    What comes to me is…getting rid of something is pushing it away and what you resist persists…so I hear.

    I’ve spent most of my life trying to figure things out and found that, well that is one ‘way’ and it can be fun, but for me does not keep me present ….I just kept playing a mind game. Now I just try to ‘notice’ and embrace rather than try to ‘get rid’ of. I finally got in touch with the joy of life again.

    It’s not BETTER it is different and I feel a freedom I haven’t experienced in a very long time.

  20. Marion Claire February 15, 2012 at 8:11 am - Reply

    The concept of occurrings as being the immediate manifestation of underlying beliefs we may or may not be aware of is fabulous, Morty! Very helpful to explain sudden changes in our demeanor, such as lack of confidence for no apparent reason when faced with a simple task, i.e., telephoning a stranger in the course of business or having to introduce oneself at a social event. It’s such a logical extension of your work with beliefs, stimuli, sense and expectations. Many thanks!

  21. Sandy February 15, 2012 at 8:02 am - Reply

    I just remembered, to work through this, two words were really powerful. Why and Because. Its finding people to ask ‘why’ when I made a statement. The agenda is asking why do I feel like that, followed by my ‘because’ and working through these until I had no where to go. Unfortunately counsellors stop at the first or second answer, but its layer after layer. For example I might say, Im feeling scared, and when asked why, I say because …, followed by more ‘why’ and because, it generally flows (for me) to Im not good enough. Again why, because mum and dad … and eventually it turns to the positive about how awesome I am. It has to be kept going until there is no where to go because thats our particular layers. Anyway, thats what Ive learnt gets results for me.

  22. andy February 15, 2012 at 7:54 am - Reply

    DUDE!

    This article reads so much easier and is more applicable to living life when you substitute the the word occurring for thoughts. I feel you made something simple more complex by using the word occurring. Is that my belief or is it an occurring? LOL! However, I do appreciate your work Morty:-)

    Spontaneously yours,
    Andy

    • Morty Lefkoe February 16, 2012 at 10:09 pm - Reply

      Andy,

      An occurring is a specific type of thought, namely the meaning you give an event. There are many types of thoughts that are not occurrings, such as I have a headache, I’d like to have steak for dinner, and I enjoy making a difference in people’s lives.

      Thanks for taking the time to post.

      Love,Morty

  23. Sandy February 15, 2012 at 7:50 am - Reply

    Yes, this is the layers, reacting to our reaction

  24. Aparna Hari February 15, 2012 at 7:41 am - Reply

    Hi Morty,

    So the original question “Belief determine behavior ?” is not completely wrong, because belief directly or indirectly impacts the action – either through occurings at that instant.

    It is a good unearthing of oneself to determine the cause.

  25. moshe February 15, 2012 at 3:34 am - Reply

    how can i learn more about occurring at reasonably affordable price ?

  26. robert February 15, 2012 at 3:33 am - Reply

    you said “by dissolving the occurring you could get rid of the fear at that moment without getting rid of the belief”.

    it would be better to teach the difference to live in the real world and live in the mind, always, continually, and not only when we feel pain.
    when we are present here now, there is no identity, no limit, no pain.

    • James May 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm - Reply

      Ah, OK. Yes, and it would be better to give somebody the knowledge of a doctor of nutrition science, than to give him a workbook on making healthy meals. Or teach a child to walk, rather than simply letting him fall around till he gets it.

      The upsetting emotions point to us when we have failed to “live in the moment.” They remind us, refocus our attention. It’s the same way that we learned to walk: when we botched our application of the principles of balance, pain instructed us; eventually we learned to do it all the time. So too will this approach likely aid people in learning Buddhist Right Mindfulness.

      • Julie July 5, 2012 at 9:29 pm - Reply

        wow, thank you, James. “The upsetting emotions point to us when we have failed to “live in the moment.” They remind us, refocus our attention. It’s the same way that we learned to walk: when we botched our application of the principles of balance, pain instructed us; eventually we learned to do it all the time.”
        it was very helpful to me

  27. Artur February 15, 2012 at 3:10 am - Reply

    Hi Morty,
    Thanks for very helpful articles.
    “Based on my experience over the past couple of years, other factors determining occurrings include moods, conditionings (stimuli, sense, and expectations), and physical sensations”

    From my experience: expectations are caused by beliefs and sometimes moods as well. And also so much of conditionings is caused by beliefs.
    What do you think?
    Thank You.

    • Artur February 15, 2012 at 3:17 am - Reply

      In my post I meant that:
      From my experience: expectations are caused by beliefs and sometimes moods are caused by beliefs as well.
      And lot conditioning is caused by beliefs.

    • Artur February 15, 2012 at 3:23 am - Reply

      In my post I meant that:
      From my experience: expectations are caused by beliefs and sometimes moods are caused by beliefs as well.
      And lot of conditionings is caused by beliefs.

      • Morty Lefkoe February 15, 2012 at 10:43 am - Reply

        Hi Artur,

        In my experience conditioning is a separate phenomenon than beliefs.

        Both influence our behavior and emotions, but they operate differently.

        Thanks for taking the time to post.

        Love, Morty

  28. Alex February 14, 2012 at 8:57 pm - Reply

    Wow. I was actually wanting to ask you about this a moment ago during the Occurring webinar, but I didn’t because I had the occurring that it was a stupid question.

    There have been countless times in my life where I have held back from doing something I would like to do, and I’ve been wondered if eliminating occurrings would enable me to take action. Let’s put it to the test.

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