I am writing this in New York City, almost 3,000 miles from my home in the San Francisco Bay area.  My wife Shelly took me here for a week to celebrate my 75th birthday.

I had planned to skip my blog post this week (I think I’ve only missed one post in three years), but I decided to share some insights I’ve had as I’ve walked miles every day, seeing sights I haven’t seen for over 10 years.

Over a year ago I wrote a post about moods, asking you what you thought a mood was.  The response of over 85 replies was the highest of any post I’ve ever written. https://www.mortylefkoe.com/moods/#.

What is a mood?

I’m now pretty sure that emotions result primarily from the meaning we give specific events.  Moods, on the other hand, are feelings that result from the meaning you give to several prior meanings. Here’s what I mean.

An event happens that has no inherent meaning.  We give it a meaning, which usually results in a feeling.  If that happens repeatedly, we are likely to give a meaning to the prior meanings and feelings.  That new meaning and feeling is a mood.

Let me make that real with a specific example.  Imagine that a loved one misunderstands something you said and gets annoyed at you.  Her annoyance has no inherent meaning.  But if it occurs for us as: if she really loved me, she would understand—then you will feel unloved.  That is a single example of how an event can occurs for you and how that meaning can cause a feeling.

Our occurrings seem real

Remember, the important thing about our meanings/occurrings is that they seem real; in other words, a meaning that exists only in our mind seems to exist in the world, as a fact.

Now let’s assume that you don’t realize what just happened and you don’t dissolve your occurring.  As a result you continue to feel not understood and unloved.  Later that day or the next day that same loved one says something that occurs to you as: her behavior was very inconsiderate.  If she really cared about me she wouldn’t have done that.  So again your occurring makes you feel not understood and unloved.

It is possible to notice that you have given a meaningless event a meaning—which has caused an unpleasant feeling—and then dissolve the meaning and the feeling.  But very few people distinguish between their occurrings and reality, and even fewer know how to dissolve their occurrings.  So now you have a second meaning you think is true and another unpleasant feeling.

When your occurrings “add up”

Let’s assume that happens several times in a short period of time.  It is now possible for you to give a meaning to the group of individual meanings: my loved one doesn’t care about me—a meaning that makes you feel sad.  At which point you find yourself in a sad mood for several days, having no idea of where that mood came from.

The mood is the result of giving meaning to several prior meanings.

I’m not sure yet how to eliminate a mood once it has started, but it is possible to learn how to recognize your “occurrings” as the happen and dissolve them on the spot.  If you do that on a regular basis, you won’t have any “unresolved occurrings” to give meanings to that produce moods.

I’m going to ruminate on this for a while.  I’ll let you know what else I come up with in the next few weeks

If you found this post useful, please tell your friends and followers by using the buttons at the top of this post.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.

For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings—which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives including a lack of confidence—and get a separate video of the WAIR? Process, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.

To get my blog posts as podcasts, sign up for the RSS feed above or look up “Morty Lefkoe” at iTunes to have the podcasts sent to you weekly.

copyright ©2012 Morty Lefkoe

23 Comments

  1. Paul Mitchell May 31, 2012 at 11:35 pm - Reply

    Thank you for continually engaging us with enlightening information to help us through this! Appreciated! Happy Birthday Sir!

  2. Maurice Andrew May 30, 2012 at 1:50 pm - Reply

    Happy Birthday to you Morty, I wish you and Shelly your wife, have a great time, and don’t forget! Have Some Fun

  3. Jeannette May 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm - Reply

    Hi Morty,
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
    Many thanks for this very useful information and everything you do for us all.
    Best wishes to you and Shelly
    Jeannette

  4. Joy May 30, 2012 at 12:29 pm - Reply

    Happy Birthday and many more to come!

    Wouldn’t communication help? Using your example, if we are in a sad mood, and realize the feeling of being unloved, wouldn’t sitting down with the loved one and discussing the feelings help? We may not realize where they came from but I should think that telling the loved one we have them would get the ball rolling. Often during such discussions, we get insights into the occurrences. This would give the loved one the chance to say that what they meant was misunderstood. I would think that a discussion like this, with awareness of one’s feelings, could also lead to the realization that you had assigned meaning where there was none and help you to see it sooner, and check it out, next time. Forming the habit of checking things as they occur would be a big step forward.

  5. Lauren May 30, 2012 at 10:52 am - Reply

    Happy birthday, Morty, hope you are enjoying your time in the Big Apple! I’ve thought about moods, too, and how they are formed. The Occurring Course helped me dissolve all those minor occurrings so the Moods rarely occur.
    And I’m still realizing something new everyday that enhances my life experiences.
    Love and Light to you and Shelly,
    Lauren

  6. Janet Robinson May 30, 2012 at 8:10 am - Reply

    Happy Birthday Morty! I know that you will enjoy your time in New York! Living consciously puts us all in the moment and that’s where the fun is.

  7. robert May 30, 2012 at 8:09 am - Reply

    dear morty,
    so, for you the important distinction is all about between the “fact” and the “meaning”.
    it doesn’t matter if the “fact” it is real (now here in the world) or imagined (in the mind) ?
    thank you.
    robert

    • robert June 11, 2012 at 8:02 am - Reply

      please, morty, could you answer me ?
      thank you.
      robert

    • Morty Lefkoe June 11, 2012 at 8:07 am - Reply

      Hi Robert,

      If I understand your question, yes, there can be internal reality (thoughts and memories) and external reality (that which you can photograph). It is important to distinguish between either of these forms of reality and the meaning we give them.

      Love, Morty

  8. Patti May 30, 2012 at 7:45 am - Reply

    Feliz Cumpleaños Morty!!! Thank you for all you have done to make this world a better place.
    Blessings,
    Patti

  9. Bill Nonte May 30, 2012 at 7:18 am - Reply

    Happy Birthday Morty! I hope you and Shelly have a great time in your old stomping grounds:) Looking forward to next weeks Occurring Course! Bill

  10. robert May 30, 2012 at 6:11 am - Reply

    dear morty,
    please
    your intention is to help us to distinguish between:
    1) “the reality in the world” and “the imagined reality in our mind” ?
    or
    2) a “fact” and “how the fact occurs to us”, no matter if this fact is in our mind (past, future) or in the world ?
    thank you.
    robert

    • Morty Lefkoe May 30, 2012 at 7:42 am - Reply

      Hi Robert,

      Yes, it is important to distinguish between reality and the meaning we give that reality.

      The reality can be in out in the world or in our mind (thoughts, memories, feelings, etc.) but the meaning is always in our mind.

      Love, Morty

      • robert June 11, 2012 at 8:18 am - Reply

        what is in our mind is “reality” ?
        thank you morty.
        robert

        • Morty Lefkoe June 11, 2012 at 8:59 am - Reply

          Robert,

          Anything that exists, in our minds or outside of it, is reality.

          I am making a specific distinction between events, both in the mind and outside it, and the meaning we give those events.

          Love,Morty

  11. Dean May 30, 2012 at 5:42 am - Reply

    Happy Birthday Morty and thanks for sharing this insightful post.

  12. JOACHIM May 30, 2012 at 5:30 am - Reply

    JOACHIM DUNG DUNG
    Wishing you millian of good fortune and Happiness on your Birthday.
    Lots of love to both of you.

  13. NIVAYDITA May 30, 2012 at 3:11 am - Reply

    May this year be full of all the things that makes you smile and happy.Wishing you tons of good fortune and happiness on your birthday.
    I want to thank both of you for doing all the great work and bring happiness in peoples lives.Have a great time.
    Loy’s of love to both of you.

  14. Leila May 30, 2012 at 3:00 am - Reply

    Great distinction to make between moods and emotions. A way to dispell moods could be useful. I find if I’m tired for any length of time I find it harder to make sure I’m not giving meanings to things that happen in my life.

  15. magdolna May 30, 2012 at 2:53 am - Reply

    happy birthday morty have wonderful time, hope enjoying time!

  16. magdolna May 30, 2012 at 2:49 am - Reply

    well today got a water bill for 242.95, while prior was no more then 50!! plus mbl bill was more then normal!
    would have sent me through the roof, but it was like dajavu grounded for life hogs day again, so over these leaders who professing one thing, while leave how many without!
    & if it wasn’t for the joy of the lord & his promise of his my strength, would be a pile of rubble!
    cause if ailing living moving breathing molten seasonal fauna giving given free planet had its proper fixtures foundations productions would we be in this predicament of arrested intelligences leading us further into poverty drought pestilenced fumed flooded era, no better then when our ancestors where alive??
    to seeing how parliament treats each other, how do we expect our children to survive in that type of farming???
    that gives me mood swings of despising them seeing how our young have to keep their lives, with no proper home structure of safety reinforced see through rubber glass web fixtures foundations productioned projects, so all see the benefits, to only a few the 1% that turning our planet into a dust bowled dry arid putrid planet.
    now with gas leaking into waters up north, & if boxed way described would put end to loosing our freely given planet! ))))):

  17. Judith May 30, 2012 at 2:20 am - Reply

    Happy birthday. Enjoy your days with your wonderful wife.
    Thank you both for the wonderful and inspiring work you do for all of us in this present life. You are really special. God bless you!

  18. Alex May 29, 2012 at 7:09 pm - Reply

    Genius.

Leave A Comment