“What is your understanding of the Law of Attraction?” I asked Joe Vitale. He has become a good friend who I really love and admire. He and his wife Nerissa had traveled from their home in Texas to visit my wife Shelly and me for the weekend. Over dinner one night we talked about a wide variety of topics, including Internet marketing, spirituality, and relationships.
I asked this specific question because I knew that Joe had written extensively on the Law of Attraction (LOA) and I wanted to hear his thoughts. Over the years I have gone from totally believing in the LOA to thinking it is absolute nonsense. I thought it was time to finally resolve my position on the issue.
Joe started by explaining that he did not accept what many LOA teachers claim, which is that all you need to do is focus on what you want with enough emotion and it will “show up” in your life. Joe contended that merely sitting in a room focusing on a goal would not produce results; action was required.
Moreover, he argued, your intention can be totally stopped if you have beliefs in the way. I agreed wholeheartedly and added that getting rid of beliefs actually opens up possibilities that hadn’t existed before.
After a fascinating give and take, I think Joe agrees with me on the essentials, but he is going to write a blog post today on his version of what happened. I can’t wait to read his post and see if we do fully agree on what the LOA actually is and is not.
Here’s my current position that resulted from our discussion. The following description of how the LOA works makes more sense to me than any I’ve ever seen.
Create a clear vision of what you want
First, create a vision. In order to have an effective vision you need to distinguish between a vision and a goal. A goal is something specific you want to have happen; it is measurable. A vision is like a direction you want to go in; it is a process; it is never ending. Wanting to teach something specific to 100 people in a workshop is an example of a goal. Wanting to help as many people as possible improve their lives in any way you can, is a vision. You can achieve a vision and still have more to do the next day. Once a goal is achieved, there is nothing more to do.
Be passionate about your vision
Second, you need to be passionate about your vision. You have to be so excited about your vision that you constantly look for ways to achieve it. You need a vision that you really are passionate about having or doing or being. This is not the same as holding a vision strongly and with emotion, as some teachers have recommended. As you will see in a moment, it’s not having emotion as such that is important, it is about really caring about your vision.
Get rid of beliefs that will sabotage your vision
Third, eliminate any beliefs that are inconsistent with your vision. If you don’t, the beliefs will likely foreclose the possibility of getting what you want. For example, if you focus on the vision of having a great relationship (as distinct from the goal of having a relationship with a specific person) and you believe Relationships don’t work, I’m not loveable, and Men/women can’t be trusted, you probably will find it difficult to have a good, long term, nurturing relationship.
Here’s why. Our beliefs are the primary determinant for the meaning we give events moment to moment, and that meaning determines our behavior and emotions. For example, assume you had the beliefs I just listed above. You now meet someone you like and a relationship is forming. The meaning you give to everything your new girl/boyfriend does and says is directly affected by these beliefs.
Imagine your girl/boyfriend doesn’t call when promised. Given these three and other similar beliefs his/her behavior will likely occur to you as: He/she has probably just been stringing me along. He/she doesn’t really like me. I’m happy he/she never called, as it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. If you didn’t have those beliefs, you might well have given the same event the following meanings: It could mean he/she got busy. It could mean he/she forgot. It could mean a lot of different things.
And if that is the way your new friend’s behavior occurs to you, the relationship has little chance of surviving.
Eliminating beliefs creates new possibilities
Fourth, eliminating beliefs literally creates new possibilities that didn’t exist before. Because how we view reality determines the possibilities for action that are open for us, eliminating limiting beliefs literally creates new possibilities in your life. When you say something is impossible it actually becomes impossible for you. If you believe Life is difficult, you will experience things not going the way you wanted them to go as upsetting obstacles rather than exciting challenges. If you believe I’m not capable or I’m not competent, would you likely try to do something you believe you can’t do? And if you tried, do you think you would succeed with these beliefs? (See my earlier post where I discuss this issue in detail. http://www.mortylefkoe.com/create-possibilities/
Notice what emerges
Fifth, notices what “emerges.” After you have created new possibilities by eliminating the relevant limiting beliefs, your passionately-held vision will insure that you constantly focus on what “emerges” on a daily basis. As an example, my vision is to help create a world in which people are empowered to rid themselves of their self-imposed limitations and create unimagined new possibilities for their lives. I’ve eliminated many beliefs that could keep me from pursuing that vision. (See my blog post in which I discuss the idea of emerging in more detail: http://www.mortylefkoe.com/what-i-just-learned-will-transform-my-life-%E2%80%A6-and-yours/
I keep looking at what emerges in my life to see what opportunities there are to manifest my vision. After completing a study with the University of Arizona that showed that our Natural Confidence (NC) program reduced stress by over 50%, it occurred to me that we might be able to help insurance companies reduce their out of pocket health care expenditures by having their policyholders complete the NC program. While I was trying to figure out how to approach health insurance companies a friend suggested we bypass the insurance companies and go directly to organizations that hire the workers and pay the insurance premiums. These possibilities just “emerged” without any effort. But if I hadn’t been looking for them, I wouldn’t have noticed them. As a result of what I noticed, we intend to conduct another study to determine how much lower health care costs will be for employees who eliminate the 19 beliefs and four conditionings on the NC program as compared to employees who don’t use NC.
Proving that the NC program will significantly reduce health insurance costs probably will lead to hundreds of companies making the NC program available to hundreds of thousands or even millions of employees. That is my vision manifesting in the world. Because there is no way I could have foreseen this possibility even a few months ago, conducting this new study couldn’t have possibly been a goal; it is, however, a manifestation of my vision. Before I could create this new study I needed the results of the last study and a friend who suggested we conduct another study with business firms instead of insurance companies.
Now here’s why passion is important. If I were not passionate about helping people free themselves from their self-imposed limitations, I might not have thought of doing the original study that showed the NC program reduces stress, or thought about making that program available to insurance companies, or listened to my friend’s suggestion to go directly to organizations who pay the insurance premiums.
Sixth, take action. Although some teachers of the LOA claim that action is not required to manifest what you desire in reality, most of them disagree with this point and argue that we need to act on the opportunities that we notice. I am in full agreement with that point of view.
The crucial importance of taking action clarifies why you need to eliminate beliefs and be passionate about your vision. If you notice a possibility for achieving your vision and you believe you are not good enough, or capable, or competent, or deserving, you are unlikely to act. And if you are not really excited about manifesting your vision in the world and always looking for ways to do it, you will not notice the new possibilities that emerge and act on them.
If there are no beliefs in the way and if you are passionate about your vision, you probably will take the action needed to make your vision real in the world.
So here’s my final take on the LOA
To summarize what I realized during my conversation with Joe: The “Law of Attraction” is really a misnomer. It is neither a “law” nor do you literally “attract” anything. There is, however, a very effective way to get what you want.
- create a vision,
- be passionate about that vision and make it a major focus of your life (as distinct from merely focusing on a goal “with emotion”),
- eliminate any beliefs that are inconsistent with your vision,
- notice the new possibilities you have created,
- observe the opportunities that “emerge” from those possibilities,
- and take action to implement that possibilities.
If you follow these six steps the chances are very good you will get what you want. You will have manifested your vision in your universe. This approach is not an airy-fairy, mystical way to get things to magically appear in the world; instead, it is a very practical series of steps that will enable you to bring your vision into reality most of the time.
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Here’s a link to Joe Vitale’s blog. After reading my post read his and see if each of us reached the same conclusion after our discussion. http://blog.mrfire.com/secret-meeting-reveals-truth-about-law-of-attraction/
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This week’s exercise
Follow the six steps I outlined above and notice what happens in each step. If you have any questions or problems with any step, please post them here. Also let us know what you are able to create in the world by following this simple approach.
Please comment on this post and write your results from the exercise.
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