In my post on May 5, 2009, I described the Lefkoe Stimulus Process (LStP), the most important process other than the Lefkoe Belief Process that we use to help people get rid of unwanted behavior and emotional problems.

This process de-conditions common events that have been conditioned to cause fear and other negative emotions.  To get rid of almost any emotional problem, you will have to get rid of beliefs and conditionings.

There are two additional processes I’ve created to help clients eliminate problems in their lives that can be very valuable: the Lefkoe Sense Process (LSP) and the Lefkoe Expectation Process (LEP).  I’ve never heard of anything that can do what these two processes do as quickly and effectively.

The LSP is useful after one eliminates all the relevant beliefs one can find and still has a negative sense of something.  It usually doesn’t exist in words.  It is a “sense” that typically is described in bodily feelings, colors, images, etc.  You actually can have a negative sense of anything, such as people, life, and work, but the most common negative sense that needs to be eliminated is one of self.

Try it right now.  Close your eyes and look inside for your sense of yourself. … If you find words, such as “not good enough” or “not important,” that is probably the result of beliefs like I’m not good enough and I’m not important.  But keep looking: Is there a sense that doesn’t exit in words?  If there is and it is negative, the LSP can help you get rid of it.

I’m going to provide the steps of the LSP below with a caveat: Using it will produce virtually no change unless you eliminate all the relevant beliefs first.  If there is still a negative sense after getting rid of all the limiting beliefs, then this process will get rid of it.

Finally, before presenting the entire LSP, let me explain Step 3, which says: “Is it real to you that your current sense of yourself was caused by those

[childhood] events and the meaning you gave those events?”

Let me explain why this is true.  Any child in any culture recognizes certain facial expressions as “angry,” which most children would interpret as meaning there is something wrong with me.  Why that interpretation and not, what’s wrong with my parents?  Two reasons.

First, a child knows on some level he is dependent on his parents for his very survival.  If there is something wrong with his parents, then his survival is threatened.  Better there is something wrong with him.

Second, children think adults, especially their parents, have all the answers to dealing with the world and children know they know very little about how to deal with the world.  Children are always saying, “When I grow up, then I’ll be able to … (or then I’ll know what to do).”  So if mom and dad are angry, it must be my fault; there is something wrong with me.  Before a child has words this can be experienced wordlessly as: pushed away, black, overwhelmed, not acceptable, etc.

If you don’t get what you want a lot of the time, you might feel powerless even before there are any words for that feeling.  If mom and dad aren’t around a lot of the time when you want them, you might feel alone.

To summarize, events in your childhood and the meanings you give those events are the source of the “sense” you formed of yourself at the time and that still exists today.

Steps of the Lefkoe Sense Process (LSP)

1. Close your eyes, look inside, and find your sense of yourself. Don’t worry about putting words on the sense.  Your experience might be in the form of pictures, images, feelings, or vague thoughts.  Just try to experience it as fully as you can right now. [Give the client a moment to think.] … Now that it is real, please use a few words to describe that sense so that I can get an idea of your experience, even though the words are not your experience.

Client’s description of sense: _______________________________________.

2. What are the events when you were a young child that first caused ________________________________? [describe the sense using client’s exact words] [The events are almost always interactions with parents early in life.]

3. Is it real to you that your current sense of yourself was caused by those events and the meaning you gave those events? [The answer should be, yes.]  NOTE: Even though usually events have no inherent meaning for adults, they do for children who are dependent on their parents (or other adults) for their very survival.

 

4.  Is it real to you that the only reason that _____________________________           [describe the sense using client’s exact words] is your sense of yourself today is that as a child you never distinguished between you and the meaning you gave specific circumstances outside of you that really caused the______________________________? [describe the sense using client’s exact words] In other words, can you see that the _____________________________   was [describe the sense using client’s exact words] never inherent in you—it was never who you really are? [The answer should be, yes.]

5. To make this distinction real, if earlier in life the circumstances that originally caused the ___________________________ had been different, [describe the sense using client’s exact words] if_______________________________ [state the opposite of what actually happened]           had happened instead, would you have had the _________________________________________________________then? [describe the sense using client’s exact words] If you didn’t have it then, would you have it now? [The answer should be, no.]

6.  Close your eyes and look inside.   Do you still experience yourself as ________________________? [The answer should be,no.]                                            [describe the sense using client’s exact words]

Note:  Sometimes the entire negative sense will be gone at the end of the process.  If only some aspects of the sense have been eliminated, do the process again with whatever words describing the sense still feel true to the client.  There may be a different source for what remains.

Copyright © 1997-2009 Morty Lefkoe

The other process that can be very useful is the Lefkoe Expectation Process (LEP).  Sometimes after all the relevant beliefs have been eliminated one still expects life to be difficult, to not get what one wants, to have anxiety in certain situations, etc.  This process can eliminate those negative expectations.  Like with the LSP, you should eliminate all the relevant beliefs first, because often that will eliminate the negative expectation.  But if the expectation is still there, use this process.

Here are the steps of the LEP.

 

Steps of the LefkoeExpectation Process (LEP)

To be used to eliminate negative expectations about some area or issue.

1. What is your expectation about _____________________________________?[Insert the area or issue, for example, self, life, relationships, or career

2. ___________________________________________________________        [Insert the expectation given by the client.]

3.  What happened early in your life that might have led you to this expectation?  [Note: The client usually will say: I expect … to happen in the future because it happened many times in the past.]

4.  An expectation is nothing more than assuming the future will be like the past.  Can you see that your expectation made sense given the many experiences you had that were similar to what you now expect? [The answer should be, yes.] Can you see that your expectation is a function of those specific circumstances? [The answer should be, yes.]

5.  If the circumstances in the past had been different, would you still have had the same expectation? [The answer should be: Of course not.]

6.  Describe the differences between your earlier circumstances and todays circumstances. [If the client has difficulty in doing this, you can assist.  One crucial difference is that the client has The Lefkoe Method available now and a lot of beliefs the client had then he does not hold today.  Also, in most cases the “earlier circumstances” occurred when the client was a child; now she’s an adult.]

7.  Can you see that todays circumstances are very different from the earlier circumstances that led to your expectation? [Summarize the current circumstances that the client has just stated in #6 above.] [The answer should be, yes.]

8.  Dont tell me what you want, what you wish for, or how youd like it to be.  If expectations for the future are based on current circumstances, tell me what any reasonable person would expect in the future given your circumstances today, namely ________________________________________. [Restate what the client stated in #6 above.]                                                                                              [The answer will be a different expectation.]

9.  Close your eyes and look inside.   What do you expect about ___________________________ right now? [Insert the answer from #1 above]                                                                                                             [The client will describe a new, positive expectation.]

Copyright © 2001-2009 Morty Lefkoe

Thanks for reading my blog. I really appreciate your comments and questions. Please feel free to share my blog posts with anyone you think might be interested as long as you tell people where they came from.

 

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one limiting belief free.

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Copyright © 2009 Morty Lefkoe

20 Comments

  1. siwen July 26, 2013 at 12:13 am - Reply

    Thank you! It’s a great blog! I feel much better!

  2. Randy December 19, 2012 at 10:28 am - Reply

    Every day, I feel down on myself. It’s a weird feeling in my stomach. I feel as though I’m stuck and can’t change. Like everything was the way it was and will be the way it was for ever. It’s as though whatever I do seems to never work. Every area of my life is falling apart. Plus my parents have no clue how to help. I feel as though I’m a nothing. It’s crazy. But sometimes I feel all good but it’s momentary then I’m back feeling how I normally feel. I’m just 17 and I have this issue. I fall into depressions where I don’t even want to leave my room and feel all down on myself, I have social anxiety, lack confidence and a host of issues. I just realized when I was speaking to my parents that most of my issues really did come from interactions with my parents. I’m very shy and today my dad was acting pretty threatening and I felt fear thinking he’s was going to hurt me and then I just shut down my feelings. I litterally can’t say anything, it’s like I have to tippy toe around people. Man !

    I’m going to do my best to remove these issues and FAST !

    • Morty Lefkoe December 19, 2012 at 11:00 am - Reply

      Hi Randy,

      I’m sorry to hear about your suffering. I felt a lot like you do when I was younger. And I no longer feel like that.

      The best and fastest way to resolve most of your issues is to eliminate the 19 core beliefs on our Natural Confidence program. You can get more information about it at http://naturalconfidenceprogram.com.

      Love, Morty

  3. Luis A. April 14, 2012 at 10:33 am - Reply

    Hello Morty!

    Thank you so much for this and for everything you have created for us. I will be spreading the word about everything that your methods can do for others as often as possible to my friends and family. Words cannot describe the kind of confidence I now feel now thanks to your method!

    All the Best to you and your family,

    Luis A.

  4. El December 30, 2010 at 11:50 am - Reply

    Dear Morty,

    Thanks tremendously for this gift :)

    • Morty Lefkoe December 30, 2010 at 7:38 pm - Reply

      Hi El,

      You’re welcome. Glad you found it useful.

      Love, Morty

  5. Vivs November 23, 2010 at 11:25 pm - Reply

    Hi Morty,

    Thank you very much! Loved this processes. … Had great results!!

    Much love,

    Vivian

    • Morty Lefkoe November 24, 2010 at 10:53 am - Reply

      Hi Vivs,

      Glad you had great results and thanks for letting me know.

      Love, Morty

  6. Al November 22, 2010 at 1:51 pm - Reply

    Hi Morty!

    I’m trying to figure out how to eliminate a problem I have, but not sure if its a belief, conditioning, expectation etc. . I’ve eliminated all 19 beliefs and conditionings off the natural confidence program, fear of public speaking, plus a few additional with shelly. However, I find that I get a really anxious and nervous feeling whenever I know that I’m going to be called on to speak in front of people or when I know someone wants to speak with me about something. I remember when I was a child being very nervous and anticipating my parents speaking to me about something that could have made them angry. Before they even said my name I would anticipate them being angry and not approving of something I did or didn’t do even if I had no idea whether or not it was even going to happen. So, I find now that i get anxious in other situations anticipating being called on in front of people and it could be as simple as the anticipation of me introducing myself in a room of people. Could this be a conditioning or expectation?

    Thanks! The Lefkoe Method had completely transformed my life!

    • Morty Lefkoe November 22, 2010 at 2:51 pm - Reply

      Hi Al,

      The NC program should have handled your fear of speaking. What seems to be left is a special situation: speaking when called on. That seems to involve fear of anger or confrontation, which might be a couple of beliefs and conditionings, from childhood.

      If I am right, you should be able to handle that in one session.

      Glad our work has made such a positive difference in your life.

      Love, Morty

  7. nancy November 19, 2010 at 5:12 am - Reply

    This is really gud…..really felt nice:)

  8. Paul November 18, 2010 at 12:11 pm - Reply

    Hello Morty,

    I was excited to read the steps of LSP. It seemed to make sense when I skimmed through it but now that I’m actually attempting the steps, I am stumped. I can’t even get past step 1. It’s been a little frustrating. Maybe it will take more time. Maybe this comes easier to some people. For me, it might take more time. I guess the key is to not get frustrated, correct?
    Paul

    • Morty Lefkoe November 18, 2010 at 12:32 pm - Reply

      Hi Paul,

      We usually spend several hours training people how to use this process. If you can do it on your own fine, if not you may need some training.

      But don’t give up too easily. Keep at it and you might get it after a bit of trying.

      Love, Morty

      • Paul November 18, 2010 at 12:36 pm - Reply

        Thanks for your response. Paul

  9. isabel November 17, 2010 at 10:35 am - Reply

    Vanessa, to me it sounds great that you’re being picky. You’re waiting for the right one. It takes time. If you had settled, you’d have a relationship, but not the one you want. So keep trying and most of all keep being picky. The happier you are on your own, the better your chances of meeting someone else, because happiness is attractive. I’m in the same situation you’re in, though I haven’t put in any effort due to the fact that I’m recovering from the bad ending to the last one(s). I’m focusing on building my boundaries and not being “too nice.” To find a good relationship is going to take a lot of inner change plus being in the right place at the right time, whether it’s online or what. I’d much rather be alone than in a bad or deceptive relationship. Once I start looking I’m going to make myself believe there’s an abundance of partners out there. The main thing is to not lose hope, but to learn to love being single. Most people in relationships are not totally happy. It’s not everything. Just don’t settle. Good luck!

    • Vanesssa November 18, 2010 at 9:54 am - Reply

      thank you for your reply, it is heartening. Good luck to you too!!
      V

  10. Vanesssa November 17, 2010 at 6:50 am - Reply

    Hi Morty,

    it all makes some sense to me…however….I have some negative expectations now because of what has happened in the last few years, not because of what happened when i was a child. For instance, I would like to be in a relationship, but have failed to achieve that during the last few years. Despite a lot of effort, I don’t meet anyone suitable. Prior to that I had relationships, now I don’t. So I have gradually lost hope over the last few years and expect always to be unsuccessful in that area of my life. It’s not to do with my early life. So I don’t know how to get rid of this negative expectation which to me seems completely understandable and reasonable.
    thanks and kind regards
    V

    • Morty Lefkoe November 17, 2010 at 10:45 am - Reply

      Hi Vanessa,

      As I said in my article, you might well have a number of beliefs about men and relationships that are getting in your way. You need to get rid of them first.

      If after doing that you still have a negative expectation about ever finding a great relationship, then the Lefkoe Expectation Process will help you get rid of it.

      Love, Morty

  11. Rolando Street November 17, 2010 at 4:52 am - Reply

    This is excellent!!!!![:-))<<<

    • Morty Lefkoe November 17, 2010 at 10:43 am - Reply

      Hi Rolando,

      Glad you like it.

      Love,Morty

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