Comments on: How Things Occur For Us

By: Morty Lefkoe

Morty Lefkoe — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:16:16 +0000

Hi Wayne,

Thanks for taking the time to post.

One subtle point: Realizing we are the creator and that all our beliefs are just the meaning we gave to meaningless events does not eliminate any of the beliefs. Each belief still has to be handled separately, one at a time.

Love,Morty

By: Wayne

Wayne — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 18:42:31 +0000

Hi Morty!
I think and maybe I am of course here, but that as a child we need our ego to protect us. So we give these childhood events meanings that seem to be right at the time. This carry’s on even in adulthood and unless we become highly aware that we are not our beliefs and that we are the creator of our beliefs. We still let the lies influence us as adults, but once we are aware that these meanings are just a truth and not the truth. The beliefs we have formed are dead (meaningless) and once we come to this higher understanding all those old beliefs conditioning and feelings have no hold of us anymore. As we experience the creator side to us we are open new developments that are not coming from us but from a higher source. We are open to new ideas and breakthroughs not on the same level as the ego.

Regards

OneWayne

By: What is a goal? « General News And Products

What is a goal? « General News And Products — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 15:14:42 +0000

[...] people have financial goals about lefkoe occurring that are well beyond reach. Imagine having the goal of making a million dollars when you [...]

By: admin

admin — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:32:57 +0000

Hi Jodi,

Glad this post was useful. You actually can change your occurring at any time, thereby changing your thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

Regards, Morty

By: admin

admin — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:30:57 +0000

I am not a CBT therapist, but many who are and who know our work say there is a big difference. For example, in CBT you have to constantly work on changing your thinking as thoughts and feelings arise in daily life. When you eliminate a belief in just a few minutes in a session, the thoughts and feelings change automatically and there is nothing more you need to do.

Thanks for commenting.

Regards, Morty

By: Jodi Traver

Jodi Traver — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 14:58:41 +0000

Morty-
Thanks for a beautiful, well-timed reminder of the power of my mind!

By: What Really Determines How We Live Our Lives? | Relationship Saver

What Really Determines How We Live Our Lives? | Relationship Saver — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 03:02:59 +0000

[...] connection is, let me briefly remind you of my three posts last year on “occurring.” (See here) Most people are not aware that the way reality shows up or occurs for them is not the same as [...]

By: What Really Determines How We Live Our Lives? | The Relationship Saver Blog

What Really Determines How We Live Our Lives? | The Relationship Saver Blog — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:35:39 +0000

By: What Really Determines How We Live Our Lives? – Morty Lefkoe

What Really Determines How We Live Our Lives? – Morty Lefkoe — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:24:09 +0000

[...] connection is, let me briefly remind you of my three posts last year on “occurring.” (See http://mortylefkoe.com/121509, http://mortylefkoe.com/12229, http://mortylefkoe.com/122909) Most people are not aware that the [...]

By: Arlo R. Hansen

Arlo R. Hansen — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 08:08:13 +0000

I once asked my late, older, sister, Vivian L. Heeschen, who made her living as a Spiritial Dream Interperter, “How can I know what are the beliefs, that I hold to the conviction level?”
“Look around you,” she answered, “What is manifisting for you as your reality, are the beliefs you hold to the conviction level.”
Simple, but so obvious, most miss it because it’s like “…what you’re looking for, you’re looking with!”
Science, as far as I know, has yet to measure the “speed of thoughts.” They come fast for me. Many I dismiss, without pondering, but to know, that my reality is a demonstration of the thoughts I am holding to the conviction level, gives me the freedom to change what I don’t like, to whatever I might like!
What’s “happening,” for me, is always up to me. That is why I coined my email name above…to remind me that this is ALWAYS so!

By: I Had a Meltdown – Morty Lefkoe

I Had a Meltdown – Morty Lefkoe — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:07:28 +0000

[...] and actions change also. (See my blog posts that describe what I mean by “occurring”: http://mortylefkoe.com/121509; http://mortylefkoe.com/122209; http://mortylefkoe.com/122909. [...]

By: Lnsky

Lnsky — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:33:58 +0000

Hi!

First, thanks for your method Morty, it did recreate my life in many ways. At least when it comes to the “bad” beliefs. However, I do believe that my old limiting beliefs have prevented me from creating many god positive “what should happen” beliefs. So I believe that when things do not occur as we want them to do it is because a lack of “what should happen in this situation” beliefs. Maybe its possible to use a version your method to create these kind of beliefs? Or do you think that a missing limiting beliefs equals a positive one?

By: lea

lea — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 10:00:12 +0000

Morty
It is very interesting what you say “None of us see things as they are. We see things as they occur to us.” Homeopathy deals with that, it is called “vital sensation” we will always see things in our unique way. Homeopathic remedies will help us leave this delusive way of looking at things that occur to us. You can read stuff about it in http://hmp.rajansankaran.com/

By: Morty Lefkoe

Morty Lefkoe — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 19:00:43 +0000

Hi Win,

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

I’d like to make a distinction that might clarify a apparent conflict between our positions: It is one thing to make whatever happens “okay just the way it is.” You aren’t trying to change the circumstances; you are having it “occur” for you in a way that you experience “okay.” That is not the same as noticing that there are things in the world that you would like to change in the future (that’s the “game of life”) and doing what you can to produce a change — without being attached to the outcome.

That is how the Dali Lama deals with freedom for Tibet. He makes the way things are today “Okay in his universe” and he works tirelessly to change the current situation.

This appears to be a contradiction, but I think getting this distinction is a crucial aspect of living a transformed life.

My goal is to make our work available to as many people as possible, to free them from the self-imposed limitations they have placed on themselves. When I succeed I’ve very happy. When I don’t I look to see what I could do differently next time. I prefer one outcome to another, but I’m not run by the outcome.

Happy Holidays, Morty

By: Margaret Ida

Margaret Ida — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 15:51:10 +0000

Morty:
I appreciate your sharing before you have it ‘all figured out’. I think the key to the breakthrough is this item you quoted: “Each person assumes the way things occur for him or her is how they are occurring for another. But situations occur differently for each person.”
However, the key is not so much the word ‘occur’ as the phrase ‘differently for each person.’
The proliferation of self-help programs, all of which have multiple testimonials of how this particular one worked when all others had failed, is a testimony to this. It has been my observation that each program uses a somewhat different presentation , perspective, assumption, picture, etc. to address the same underlying conditions that people are trying to deal with. The trick is to find one or more that resonate(s) with your individuality.
My thought is that, as a health/life coach, I can help my clients better as I become familiar with more different programs and ways for things to ‘occur’ to a client. That way I can help my clients find the approach that works for their individual situation.
Keep thinking out loud – it’s great for all of us to do!
Margaret Ida

By: Robert Litjens

Robert Litjens — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 10:59:53 +0000

1. “Wanting what you get, is getting what you really want”.

That to me is a bit like saying… “Thank you very much X for slamming me over the head with that iron bar.. because I am really ‘wanting’ that.

Yes it sounds cute but I see it as a cop out… I don’t see it as much being beyond being a cow in the meadow.

I prefer to go for the view that we may NOT be able to control the gale force winds.. BUT we DON’T have to want it (like you suggest)… when its the JOB of the human to LEARN to BEST adjust the sails.

So although I like the thought of yelling at life to HIT ME AGAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN with that iron bar… I WANT it… In hindsight I think its rater rediculous when we have the option of learning how to PUT a HELMET on our heads to disappear the impact.

Nooo… Sorry… Nice when you say it quickly.. but odd when you hover over it briefly.. SO I give that one a thumbs down today.. sorry

By: charles sooter

charles sooter — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:55:17 +0000

Marty, you are on to something when you assert that simply changing beliefs, although a necessary precondition, is insufficient to becoming a highly functioning person. As negative and destructive beliefs are substituted for their positive and nurturing equivalent, these beliefs need to be networked into a cohesive, integrated, and life-enhancing philosophy. Otherwise, the potential positivism inherent in any situation is not always triggered just because one now has a few positive beliefs. Instead, the highly functioning individual has trained themself to think consciously in opportunistic ways to turn whatever happens to them, whether it is good, bad, or neutral, into something positive for themselves and others. Changing beliefs is only the first step; the next step is learning how to handle life with an as yet ill-defined higher-level of consciousness.
Chuck

By: Alex Dail

Alex Dail — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:15:47 +0000

Hi Morty,

One generality I have been fascinated with since youth is how few individuals there are who seem to have highly productive lives. The highly productive are able to get a lot done in a relatively short period of time; whether it is starting business(es), promoting a cause, or simply living a life that brings them in touch with cultures and philosophies. In short, what they put their minds to they are able to achieve in spades. A portion of these appear to always be this way, others seem to be pushed into it through a cataclysmic (life changing) event, others seem to be ultra productive for awhile and then drift towards a norm. Then there are people who try hard, but are just spinning their wheels. Lastly, their are people who are the norm. That is, they are content to work 9-5, watch t.v., read a trash novel, do a little yard work etc. and repeat.

I think being grateful for what we have is important – especially to happiness. Yet, I think we lose when we become content with being less than our potential. The trick it seems is to find a means to coalesce potential with opportunity so the end result is super productivity. I may be just talking through my hat but people who are grateful and who are also able to fully express a potential they are passionate about appear to have the fullest most meaningful lives. Good luck in your pursuit.

By: Danielle Grigsby

Danielle Grigsby — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 20:04:29 +0000

Hello Morty,
I really appreciate your process of not knowing and discovering and I also really appreciate the Lefkoe method. I am very interested in your question of the meaning of occur. I happened to look it up in the dictionary and it comes from the Latin “ob+ currere” which means to run. It means to EXIST . It means to HAPPEN. The etymologies of the word “current” are various – to run, to hurry, hastening to aid, vehicle, wise, quick. The definitions are FLUENT, ACCUSTOMED, PREVAILING, FLOW, FLUX, PITCH, TILT, TREND, TENOR, TONE, TENDENCY. My analysis of occurence leads me to the same conclusion which is that
” occur” defines a current of frequency or energetic vibration. Perhaps woven through a happening or an event are myriad currents of frequencies as varied as the persons interacting or serving as catalysts of the occurence somewhat like a symphony. And somewhere along the continuum of occurence any one of the actors could choose to stay on the same current, or go to another level of wave higher or lower, based on the complex variables of their state or internal landscape. Wherever we are is what the event will mean for us- no more , no less. If I happen to be in a pit that is what the occurance will mean for me. If you happen to be in a beautiful meadow that is what the event will mean for you. If The other person on the top of the mountain that is what the event will mean for them. But the other side of this is the energetic vibration you are emitting and how you magnetize miracles or mistakes by what your thoughts are. …thoughts of an inveterate bookish type…Much love, Danielle.

By: Henry

Henry — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:34:04 +0000

This seems to be in line with the thinking of Steve Pavlina, and such methods as the Self-Talk Solution (Shad Helmstetter). Something to look into if these ideas intrigue you.

By: salim

salim — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:52:39 +0000

Hi Morty,UR reflection for the answer for this belief/question will bring lot of solution to many of the problems/belief which people have waiting for UR answer. Salim

By: Diana Endresen

Diana Endresen — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:15:54 +0000

Hi Morty,
Thank you for your work! Here are some things I’ve recently been musing about; perhaps something will click for you: Where are you allowing for our memories influencing current expectations, or is that included in the beliefs and conditioning model? What about what I call the “automatic pilot” state, you know, where we have that groove worn into our brains from umteen million interations of a “fact” such that it just seems to materialize automatically; shoes get tied quickly, we expect the same when we roll out of bed in the AM, that kind of thing. (Here’s another thought that is rolling around in my head: what if we are actually “addicted” to our dysfunctional bits?) What if an “occurrence” is time-related, in other words, it unfolds for us in a certain order and time-frame because that feels best for us or is how we learned it or whatever? What if it is the unfoldment of the occurrence that is our goal instead of the actual occcurrence or event, which might actually be incidental?

By: David Harley

David Harley — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:05:14 +0000

I enjoy your creative process, Morty. I look at the world of experience from this stance: that beliefs fit into a perceptional screen (containing thousands of beliefs) that in turn serves an organizing schema (often of opposites) that function to create a style of life (consistent behavior and attitude) that in turn serve to meet a chosen overriding goal/purpose that operates to direct the individual in creating a way of experiencing reality/occurences. Of course, this goal for the mature and healthy individual is more often at least partially in awareness yet for the immature, struggling individual is often operating out of awareness surrounded not only with convenient fictions/beliefs but also counter fictions that serve to hide the operational goal/purpose both from him/herself but also others. This goal is compensatory in purpose (for real or imagined lack). Beliefs and perception if understood alone are confusing and difficult to place into a gestalt of one’s life, however, once seen in the context of the use of or function for fulfilling one’s goals, conscious or unconscious, make more sense and bring order and clarity into what appears to be contradictions and confusion. Once the purpose or use of beliefs is understood, might this assist us in understanding the occurences in our lives both what we create or bring into our lives as well as those which seem to fall into our lives willy-nilly?

By: Kay

Kay — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:30:06 +0000

Interesting. I think you nailed it when you said that being conscious, noticing it, then wanting to change it is the key.

A good friend of mine at work and I regularly ponder similar things. We started with employee management and motivation techniques which morphed into behavioral observation and then delving into Abraham, quantum physics, LOA, etc. We regularly observe/analyze our management’s and employee’s behavior and decisions (my reality is that we find their actions stupid and incompetent – my job is a Dilbert cartoon). It seems I consistently see what I expect to see based on my previous conclusions about things. And I like many of my conclusions (they’re comfortable), so there’s no motivation to change them. I have the same observation about politics and the radicalized opinions we see now days (THOSE people are crazy, not me!).

We have a coworker who “sees” events 180 degrees out from the rest of us. (We’ve been ‘psychoanalyzing’ her for years.) Why? She’s extremely intelligent, articulate, and has two masters degrees. But her interpretation of events (such as a meeting) is completely different than the rest of us. We decided that she has beliefs and/or filters that “management is bad, workers are good” and puts that kind of a spin on things. She was very poor and extremely religious as a child and had to struggle to get where she is now (a six figure job). A few years ago I read a book, “The DaVinci Method” by Garret LoPorto, which seemed to explain a lot of her behavior. He says that most people stay comfortable by functioning at a consistent but low level and ramping up only when necessary, but a few others (the DaVincis) run at full throttle all the time. My coworker runs at full throttle which frustrates everybody else who might get in the way. She has no clue because that’s just her reality.

I have made a conscious effort over the years to “notice” things. But I still completely miss a lot of obvious things across the board (events, objects, nuance of meaning, etc.). It sounds silly but I try to notice things like car license plates, the texture of the sidewalk, etc when I’m not doing something else to try to exercise my brain. Since doing your beliefs program, more and more I think about how I’m using my existing beliefs and prior conditioning to make judgments or “see” things from a specific perspective. Noticing that has helped me to notice alternatives and question my conclusions. This is good. This has definitely helped to change my reality.

Also, I have had a lot of success with using my observations to persuade & manipulate others. It’s easy, I can anticipate their logical behavior based on their apparent beliefs. I’ve also noticed that people from different cultures seem to interpret events differently. For example, I’ve had a hard time staying motivated to get my small home business going but I have a friend who fled Vietnam at age 13 who has started many businesses and always has something going. Growing up fat, dumb, and content in the US, I never had to struggle for anything (we were middle class) but he understands adversity and sees the opportunity and doesn’t hesitate to jump in, no psychoanalyzing needed.

Several years ago, I listened to an audio program by Bill Harris of Centerpointe (the “Map of Reality,” “Accelerated Change Maximizer,” etc) which seems to be along these same lines – noticing your beliefs and interpretation of reality enables you to change it. I subsequently encountered these same ideas in other, earlier work. What makes the Lefkoe Beliefs process different, and successful for me, is that you have shown us how to actually CHANGE those beliefs. So thanks for that.

I hope this is helpful and not too much blah blah blah!

By: Brian Zvonko

Brian Zvonko — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:56:26 +0000

Interacting with people in work environment largly involves personal believe and believe who we are interacting with. If there is a way for both to realize it is our believe that determens the way we act than we would easily overcome obstacles. Assuming that other people would not work on eliminating their believes the question that is coming in my mind is as do we need to act according other persons believe in order to overcome obstacles?! It would be acting with the purpose to reach the goal and not within common sense. Do we need to create ilusion for others to be right in their believes?!

By: Tim

Tim — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:09:12 +0000

Maybe what’s occuring to you is to find a way to let something bigger/higher/divine come through instead of us just relying on our own self created meanings/interpretations/beliefs etc. That would be very intertesting. So maybe this is the next step on the “witness” . E Tolle once talked of a bird doest sit and think if it should fly or not, It allows something higher (nature, instint, spirit,) to see through its eyes as well and be directed by it. We desperately need this as a human race.

By: Jose Velez

Jose Velez — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:09:12 +0000

pointing out our own “occurrences” as you describe them is to me very clear; that we create our own occurrances as a consequence of our beliefs and conditionings to a big extent. One missing link here is that we should mention that other peoples beliefs come together with ours to influence that occurrance. when both involved parties beliefs are healthy, the healthier the outcome (occurrance) will be. turning things around is still greatly an individual undertaking as we cannot control what other will do, only influence them. I believe in your method to bring clarity to our minds by replacing “lies” in our subconcious with truths. The Truth lights the way to healthy decision making and consequent peace of mind. The biggest challange is still clearing our minds of childhood garbage!

By: admin

admin — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:52:47 +0000

Hi,

Please see my blog post in which I describe the many differences between The Lefkoe Method an CBT.

http://www.mortylefkoe.com/the-lefkoe-method-is-not-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/

Regards, Morty

By: wim

wim — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:33:04 +0000

In my opinion Morty, you seem to be wanting to change the way things are “occuring” to you. You (still) seem to be wanting to be in control.

The happiest people on the planet are those who understand that…

1. “Wanting what you get, is getting what you really want”. It is our attempt to control, our fear to have no control over our own life that stands in the way of feeling in control.” In my opinion, we only feel really in control of our life/experience/occurence, when we have totally given up controling our life.” Acting/attempting/ reaching for goals without attachment to the outcome is all we need.

2. Life is all about receiving love (welcoming, embracing) and giving love (serving). We are only channeling this love and life.

Once we start cultivating our feelings of “GRATITUDE” for all we are and have, for all the love, life, and people that surround us, once we are saturated with the love we receive(d), once we are lost in counting our BLESSINGS…. we bubble over with that same love. And we, as mere channels of love, can decide where to direct that love. Or at least, we can “ACT AS IF” we can decide where to direct the love that is passing through us. It doesn’t matter if that is true or not… But the strategy of “ACTING AS IF WE CAN DECIDE”, brings us the most joy, fun… in our life. (It worked for me too:-).

3. “We are on stage”. Just “imagine” we are all playing our life “on stage”. A stage that is real (because we can really hurt others or ourselves)… However, most of us are simply lost in their roles (of angry, depressed, happy, guilty, or destructive, self-made, arrogant people). We often identify ourselves with the roles we play. It is our task to wake up the sleepy ones. And have them understand and connect with what they really are: “soul, love, life, light, experience, awareness…”, whatever we name it.

If I lose myself in my role, please wake me up as well.

By: tom

tom — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 11:56:14 +0000

As I see it you are reinventing the wheel – What you describe in blog is CBT. I would also see your method as CBT with cause and effect added – many therapists including many cbt therapists do this all the time
Is my perception incorrect