You know something that I don’t – and if you’re willing to share it with me, I’ll return the favor and help you to live the life you’ve always wanted to live.
So here’s my question for you:
What’s the one area of your emotional life that you’d most like to improve?
It could be reducing fear, anger, and upsets, or handling grief… or dealing with any other emotional problem that’s a burning issue for you.
So take a minute to let me know by posting your answer below.
I’ll summarize the responses and let you know the results. And I’ll also create some blog posts that will address these critical topics and show you how to minimize the negative emotions in your life.
{ 224 comments… read them below or add one }
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Feelings of your needs and wants are much more important than mine. The resentment when you are happy and independent and I am left alone.
I have problem with being firm with my decisions and committments . I critisize myself a lot . My boyfriend doesn’t know that I enjoy everything about him including his friendship and support . But I am not so emotionally in love with him . I feel guilty everyday . He is so committed to me though sometimes I find him to be very interrogative , very controlling and always has plans for us . We are worlds apart but he calls me at least three times a day and the questions are so endless , endless . Because of these and other complications ,I tend to eat a lot , stop exercising …..I wish I could be free of guilt and declare to the world ‘I am free and I can do whatever I like with my life !!” and die the next day .
I feel you are really not to sure if you deserve him as a partner because you have other deep issues inside your self,
I know you said he is controlling checking up on you all the time have you ever thought it could be concern as he has a very close bond with you nothing is always how it seems, and you will never know until you your self face the situation with him he deserves that much from you .Other people cannot affect you unless you let them .
you sound like a really nice person start doing something for you that does not include food only fun.
I have been in your situation that’s how i know and understand
it was not my husband but one of my brothers who tried to control me in every kind of way he could think of it does not work now we have drifted apart I emigrated to another country with my husband and 40 years later went back to visit my brothers and other family with one it was wonderful the other it was the same now i do not talk to him at all because he could not have his own way he stole from me and when we discovered it he refused to take responsibility for his actions and sent me the
me a text and told me he did not want to see me again never to contact him and he is 71 bitter and controlling .
we all lost our parents in a accident years ago when I was 10 he was17.1/2 my lovely other brother was 21 we are great friends and we really care about each other he has a lovely wife of over 57 years i love them to bits we live thousands of miles apart and we look forward to talking to each other he also does not see his brother for his own reasons i hope I helped in some way to make you think before you make any life changing decision
try sitting down with him and explaining how you feel ,he may be shocked he may be sympathetic he may just under stand and is waiting for you to talk to him .love Linda
I was delighted you got back to me you are a true angel you know you are meant to sort this out for your self you have such inn site into your own self that is amazing keep fishing inside and it will all come to you remember you are a Spiritual being living in a human body when we leave this world are spirit goes on ,
visualize as you fall asleep you are floating on a cloud with out a care in the world and that every thing is possible because it is you make your own destiny,
you can have any thing you want you love peace tranquility
don’t be like the rest of the world and ask for money or things
as you cannot take them with you but you can take love peace and tranquility when that time comes in a 100 years or so
you deserve all this you are amazing women ,
It sounds like you are more then worlds apart…He is very insecure and needs help that only he can and should get for himself..Controlling behavior is very bad behavior and will only cause untold grief for you in so many ways ,that in hindsight,you’ll wish that you had never stayed with him!.If you do..Get out and get away NOW!!…You will,very soon,become the enemy in the relationship..This is not a good relationship..You see that you are already already questioning yourself?……You can do whatever you want with your life!!….It’s up to you…Take care of yourself. He is making you feel gulity,for what?..For not loving him the way he thinks?…He needs to love himself as much as he thinks he loves you….If you have to question yourself,you need to get out,because controlling behavior is very,very,insecure behavior and nobody wins,least of all the woman in the relationship..It’s a very bad situation…Get out now!!..Save yourself,take care of yourself and you’ll find someone who will not make you question yourself……..Sincerely,Kat
My fears – the loss of money, or lack of money. Anytime I think I may lose a job I stress and have huge fears of losing my breath, my life.
I am really struggling with getting and being emotionally connected with those I love, and those who love me back. I’ve been this way for years, and I have been painfully shown that it is now time to change. I don’t know where to start, though.
There is more than one area in which my emotional life could improve. At the top of the list is my lack of confidence with my financial future. I’m having a difficult time right now , getting clear about , and being confident about choices for a job or career. I”m sure I’m not alone in this respect given the economic climate that exists in our country. What challenges me is feeling trapped in some sort of self created inertia. I may not be moving forward because of counter productive beliefs about myself and money. How does a person bring to the surface, and rid oneself of those negative beliefs
I so know exactly how you feel, I’m the same way. I’ll get going on my business and then start to doubt myself because I’m doing well, then I fall back into the same trap I make for myself, its hard not to over analyze ones life, we want the best for us and at the same time we do and think of ways to set us back instead of moving ourselves forward, Its like we need a support team every step of the way to keep us from quitting or messing things up for ourselves, almost like you don’t feel worthy enough to deserve the finer things in life, I’m tired of busting my butt for other people, I want to make a “DREAM LIFE ” for myself now! What do I have to do?
I need to learn how to stop hiding my emotions – how to actually feel things. I don’t want people to see me as weak, I am the strong one. Sometimes the emotions come out, as anger, and of course then they are out of control .
my worst problem is an inferiority complex. Everyone is hipper, more on the ball, more capable, better than me. I am easily intimidated.
I have a bunch of emotional problems, but what I’ve found is that they all boil down to one thing – fear. I am terrified of, well, living. And of losing my life, of being hurt (physically or emotionally); fear of losing everything I have (I’ve already lost a home to foreclosure and gone through bankruptcy); fear of losing (or possibly already having lost) the love and respect of my grown children; fear of illness and pain… the list goes on and on, but it really is just one thing – overwhelming, all-consuming fear.
Connecting with people. Connecting with family, friends and good people. I don’t want to be afraid of being hurt
I think i didn’t read the question right above. Sorry…It’s obvious I was supposed to comment on something in my life,so,here goes. I have trouble with committing myself to anything,my work and a relationship for the long haul..Even though I really want it and know I can do it,and do it well..
It doesn’t matter what you are doing, for you are all – all-ways doing something. It doesnt matter what everyone else is doing either.
After you are dead, it wont matter much to you -
It is what you are being, while you are doing it ! You are after the feeling only, period.
Most of you are feeling – terrible – and I tell you within your psyche, you are learning to feel – so to feel anything is better than nothing at all ! However it would behoove you to feel aright !
There is no use for suffering other than to discover you do not have to !
Running amok, like a chicken without a head, doing this and that to escape – the – feeling – that – you – feel – will – only – draw – more – attention – to – it -
Hey ! Wake up ! I’m in here ! I’m your soul ! Can’t you feel good about yourself ?
You say : OH ! If only ! (this or that) – then I would feel better !
It – will – never – happen
Be, then you do – from your current state, and then you have – what your feeling has created -
If you are being the abused child, along with its anger, resentment, hatred, condemnation, and such. If you are value-less, or of less value than your contemporaries for what they have, if you are jealous of their lives, if you are after money as a means to be happy with its envy and insecurity. If your bodies ache with pains and sadness, depression –
Then you will create more of that in your life !
For those with ears to hear let them listen – do not chase anything – including your own mind ! Do not DO without clarity, Do not be what will destroy your insides out –
YOU ARE LEARNING TO PLAY WITH YOUR OWN POWER – AND UNTIL YOU RECOGNIZE THE DIRECT IMPACT OF YOUR BEING – YOU WILL REMAIN ON THE ROLLER COASTER.
Yes, how I am being today will create my experience. Shall I continue to draw upon past memories of unpleasant experience to create my state of mind for today?
Or will I see the – light.
Best Regards, with fondness and Love to you all
Personally, I’d like to improve the area where I instinctivly react to things my daughters do causing me to feel anger or anoyance. I’m able to pervent myself from reacting to it but I still feel it and have to stop myself. I would like to be free from this and better able to accept their behavure as is.
A true connection with myself and others. Being afraid of not being good enough. Fear of failure. Lack of willingness to take action. A feeling of: Life just passses me by… and I´m too afraid or uninterested to take some action.
Getting rid of fear; which leads to negative, self destructive thoughts/actions.
Fear is a natural emmotion, it’s part of our survival instinct, not feeling fear would be not being human, you need to believe that you can walk through and survive fear. imagination is the most powerful tool a person can have, but it also could be very destructive as you know, find a way to overcome your fears by facing them, start from the smallest and eventually move to the biggest, you’ll discover that they aren’t as bad as you have imagined.
Yes, I actually need help with all of the above. Fear, Anger, Upsets, and even handling grief are all good ways to describe the emotional rollacoaster I usually find myself riding. I go through bouts of guilt and shame regarding mistakes of the past, and then become very depressed because of it. I try to immerse myself in all the available positive mental attitude material that is available in books, CDs, DVDs and the internet, but it only lasts for a few hours, and then I have to start all over again. I don’t know a way to make the improvements permanent. Any suggestions? Thanks, Cee
Cee ,I do the same everyday you are not alone . I spend whole day looking for some encouragement and comfort . But everyday I’m back to square one . I block my happiness from happening just because of the way I’m handling things . I wake up in the middle of the night to call just regret , trying to find out why I am not doing what I want to do ? But I believe that change for me is around the corner because I know I will one day explode and people will see how confident I am , I will overthrow thier mental games …because I come first . I come first ….let’s learn to be a little bit selfish ..I guess that will help !
Two for me. One is wasting energy getting angry about things when they either haven’t happened or are really not that important. The second, probably far more important, is fear of being as good as I can be.
The past doesn’t exist anymore, the future is uncertain even to come, what’s real is the present moment, the NOW, don’t worry about what it was or what it wolud be, worry about what is or can be, Don’t you believe you can be whatever you want? believing in something or not doesn’t mean it’s true. We all have the potential to be what we want to. Do you believe it……?
My real issue is that I am quite often afraid of saying what I want and “no” when someone asks me something, especially when this person is my partner or one of my children.
I want to feel free to say “no” when I do not want to do something and not feel afraid of anything, rejection, abandonment…
I want to feel free of doing what I want with no guilty emotions.
At 42 I am still afraid to say No . I am a people pleaser . I will say yes when it is actually something that I strongly object to . Why don’t we two do the ” No” exercise everyday ? I will tell you when I sucessfully say no and you do the same . How about that ?
Jean
Dear Jean,
That’ s a great idea!
I will do it and tell you when I am successful.
Have a nice day! Lots of love
Gisella
I would like a healing of the angry, fearful child in me.
Dealing with all forms and intensities of rejection…
Who rejects a cute guy like you ???
Heh… very kind of you Jean.
i dont want to worry or fear about anything. and not feel that i have to do anything, but want to do everything. and have inner happiness moment to moment.
Dear Linda
Thanks a lot for sharing your experience with me .you are wonderful .
Little by little I’m getting there . My boyfriend is still there ,but the inner liberation is begining . After two years of total depression and self hate I am begining to wake up .
I have started to feel happy and sleep well and you know .It has been ten days .Good ten days . Thanks for your advises . All the problems related to him are still there ,but with the new me ,I think things will hopefully work for me . I will tell you more about it .thanks
i heard some good advice the other day, “you can’t make other people happy you can only make them happier.
I don’t kown what I want most when I must to make a choice,and I want to kown how to deal with procrastination.
Well, probanly procrastination is the tendency I’m trying to change, basically I’m very enthusiastic when I start a new project, I always get going on my best and even exceed on what’s expected from me, but after a while I get bored and drop everything, I jjust stop caring and I look for something else. I feel like I’m not where I’m supposed to be or I don’t do what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t know what is it that I’m looking for, I feel lost, I can’t find my way
To much so I notice that my actions are dictated by outside forces. Either directly or indirectly. I want to be at the helm of my choices. I feel I have touched on that or received that from your expressing how we are the makers of our beliefs. Anything in this direction would open the door. Of course, once I got there I was at a loss, as I had not been making decisions from that place is such a long time, Maybe some guidance on how to get in touch with my true desires…
Becky,
To fully take charge of your life you need to eliminate all the beliefs (and conditionings) in the way and also learn to change how things occur for you minute to minute.
We’ll soon be announcing a new course that will teach you how to do that.
Regards, Morty
Dear Morty,
Thank you for believe eliminating system. Very Very helpfull and it is works.
One thing I still have that lives in me for all my life is
I have always felt ugly. No matter what I said, how much I forgive my parents that implanted in me this feelings. Seems like I’ve never changed. Sometimes I do not care, but when I am sad or unhappy about something, feeling that something wrong with me starts to dominate in my life.
Another thing is, I do not know waht I like/love to do in my life. May be having bad feeling about myself also stands on the way of my achievements.
Envy.
I’m envious of qualities I think others have that I don’t, or I have less of. I’m envious of another’s high IQ, or high EQ, higher spiritual level or sometimes even talents. I’m envious of my peers’ achievements. I’m not envious of other people’s superficial beauty.
Hi Sophie,
Envy is usually caused by some form of powerlessness. (see my blog post tomorrow, August 3.)
The package that will most likely make a difference for you is Natural Confidence. check it out at http://recreateyourlife.com/store/natural-confidence.php
Let me know what you think.
If you have any specific questions, please let me know.
Regards, Morty
I want to be free of guilt ,start to be very honest with my feelings ,be very open with people and just be myself .
I am depressed because I am scared of my boyfriend because there are things that he doesn’t know about me . He is so in love with me and I don’t want to destroy that happiness that he has because of me . I am so unhappy with my life . I know there is so much happiness so close to me but fear has gotten into me and here I am . I was such a happy person . Pleasing people ended up screwing my own head . People know me so well that if they insist that I will do eat , that their happiness matters more than mine . I am scared of words such as ‘ You broke my heart ” or ” I almost had a heart attack when you didn’t respond ” or ‘ I called you about ten times ” …and it goes on and on . Somebody help me ..I want a clean start and I want people to see and hear me say what I actually want to do .
Hi Jean,
It sounds to me like the biggest single problem you have is worrying what people think of you and trying to plese them.
We have a DVD package that we guarantee will eliminate that specific problem. Check it out and see if it looks like it would be useful. http://recreateyourlife.com/store/approval-seeking.php
Let me know if you have any more questions.
Regards, Morty
letting go of the past
everforward
not where I thought I would be at 50!
Hi Debbie,
The “past” isn’t the problem; the problem is the beliefs formed in the past that are running your life today. And it is possible to get rid of all those beliefs.
If you haven’t tried our site where you can eliminate a few of the most common negative beliefs without charge, go to http://recreateyourlife.com.
Love, Morty
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